White

Jokes

What's the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman?

One is on the cover of Playboy and the other is on the cover of National Geographic.

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A North Korean lady was in line in front of me at my bank in the U.S., trying to exchange some won. She was obviously irritated, arguing with the teller.

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A leukemia patient walks into a bar.

He sits down next to a woman and says
"Hey baby, are you a white blood cell? Because I can't get enough of you"

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The pope dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates...

The pope dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates with the gates being shut and St. Peter nowhere to be found. He starts loudly calling for him and finally after a couple of minutes of desperate yelling a white dove flies over to him.

"What do you want, human?" asks the dove in a human voice

"Why, I've been a proper Christian my whole life and an earthly s


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Controversial

Why don’t white people get a white history month?



Answer: Because you typically don’t give a participation trophy to the kid who got first place.

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

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Black and White

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"


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Why are wedding dresses white

So that the dishwasher matches the rest of the appliances.

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White boards are remarkable, but chalk boards leave it in the dust.

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I really like the new beef jerky with a white mystery flavored piece.

I can't quite place the flavor, though.

On an unrelated note, isn't it funny how eating a whole bag makes you tired and numb?

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My dad told me this on the way to the circus

"The circus is probably gonna be canceled cuz there lead clown isn't there... he's in the White House." cough.. cough.. Trump

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What's something that causes you to slobber white foam, is long and thin so you can put in your mouth, and belongs in bathrooms?

[deleted]

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So a nigger, a spic, and a white man...

are walking down an alley when they come across a lamp. One of them rubs it and a genie comes out and say each of you have 1 wish. The nigger says "i would like me and my other african americans to go back to live in africa happily". Then he dissapears. The spic says "i would like all of my fellow hispanic to go live happily in mexico". Finally the white man says "so your


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The Great White Hunter

A wealthy American man has retired and is entering old age. Fearing that he hasn't lived his life to the fullest, he decides that the first thing he will do with his funds will be to fulfill a childhood dream of his: to go hunting in Africa and take down a gorilla.

He promptly arranges a flight to Africa. When he arrives, he tells the locals his intentions of gorilla hunting and


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Do you ever sit back and wonder how whipped cream earned its name?

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A dollar a twenty and a hundred dollar bill argue who is worth more

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I hear Ahab was made captain ahead of his more qualified peers...

Talk about white whale privilege.

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I bought a new car called Elizabeth Warren.

It's painted white, but it has a "Cherokee" logo on it.

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I was on my lunch at work today in the break room...

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What do you call an orange guy in a white house?

A joke.

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What do you call someone who has a white father and an asian mother?

Cauc-asian

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A boy asked his mother

"Mommy, why are you white and I'm black?"

Mommy replied "Son, the way things were going at that party, you are lucky you don't bark."

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I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said 1 dollar for dirty joke.

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Whats the difference between a black and white fairy tale?

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A boy was driving home to Minnesota from his first semester of college...

...in California for winter break. He had the car packed and he left after his last final. He wanted to make good time so he drove all night, but as the sun came up his stomach started to rumble...it was time for breakfast!

He pulled into a mom and pop diner and it looked exactly like you'd expect a midwest greasy spoon/truck stop-type restaraunt to look: red and white checkered


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Whats a pedophiles favorite type of shoe?

White Vans.

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Whats black, white and red all over?

A penguin in a blender.

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Penis problem. NSFW

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What type of keyboards are used in White Power music?

Nazi Synthesizers

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A local news station interviews a farmer about a farmer's daily life.

Interviewer: So, Mister, where do you wash your cows?
Farmer: The white one or the black one?

The interviewer wonders what the farmer means and goes along with it.

Interviewer: Umm... the white one.
Farmer: I wash her by the river.
Interviewer: What about the black one?
Farmer: I wash her by the river, too.

The interviewer rai


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A local news station interviews a farmer about a farmer's daily life.

Interviewer: So, Mister, where do you wash your cows?
Farmer: The white one or the black one?

The interviewer wonders what the farmer means and goes along with it.

Interviewer: Umm... the white one.
Farmer: I wash her by the river.
Interviewer: What about the black one?
Farmer: I wash her by the river, too.

The interviewer ra


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Why do Pandas and Zebras like old movies?

Because they are in Black & White.

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What do you call a white kid whos also a furry?

An animal cracker

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Im tired everyone saying that Trump is subvertly racist...

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Whats black white and dead all over?

Night of the living dead

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Whats black and white and red all over?!

The amazon rainforest being irreparably burned into ash and charcoal.

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Nguyen, who saw by touch. It's original, I swear!

Did you hear about the blind Thai man who was able to tell what race people were by touch? It's true! Just by feeling their hand, old man Nguyen could tell you if somebody was European, African, Polynesian, or American. He was best at Asian countries, just by practice, and could even tell what country someone was from, something he wasn't quite capable of with other ethnicities - for ins


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Wanna year very very very dirty joke?

A white horse jumped in the mud.

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I'm a white person who will at least mutter everything he reads for some reason.

You have no idea how much self control I need scrolling through r/BlackPeopleTwitter

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Black lady: sir, may I axe you a question?

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How do you offend a white person?

Tell them they cant tell racist jokes.

Literally the brain of my existence on this sub rn.

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What do you call it when a white man dancing has a seizure?

An improvement

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Why should you be worried if you get Walter White as your Uber driver?

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Garry was 28.

There was a man named Garry king and he was the village idiot, the town drunk. One day a man with a long white beard and perfect white robes approached him. Garry said "Santa! I want a red fire truck" and the man in white snapped his fingers. Garry was sober. This was new, or at least it felt like it, Garry has had a drink in his hand for 5 years.

In this state Garry decide


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What happened after Snow White sat in the bath, feeling happy?

Happy got out, so she felt Grumpy.

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The world isnt just black and white

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Why is chicken better for you than beef?

When you cook chicken it turns white.

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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks.

Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blended Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.


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I've always thought the phrase "White men can't jump" is racist...

Because I seen plenty jumping on nine eleven.

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3 men are caught smuggling alcohol into Saudi Arabia

As it's a "dry" country, the men are brought before a judge.

Judge: "Under normal circumstances, the penalty for smuggling is death. However, it's a national holiday and I'm feeling generous, so you'll each receive 20 lashings."

As he says this, his wife approaches the judge and whispers in his ear before leaving.

Judge


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