Wasp

Jokes

What do pinatas and wasp nests have in common?

You get a prize when you hit them with a stick.

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A man goes into a cake shop and says 'i'd like to buy a wasp please'

The assistant said 'we dont sell wasps'
The man said 'well theres one in the window'

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A wasp expert walks into a record shop

He goes to the owner and asks if they have the new edition of wasp sounds 2019.
The record shop owner says that they have it in stock and asks if the wasp expert would like to listen too it before he buys.

The wasp expert agrees and the record is placed on the record player.
The pin goes down and all of a sudden a horrible buzzing noise emits from the machine.
The wa


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My girlfriend caught me trying to stick a tiny blonde wig and a guitar onto a wasp...

She pleaded, "Don't do that! You'll make him Sting!"

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What sound does a wasp make when it hits your windshield?

A bee flat.

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Why didn't Black Panther, Spider-man, the GOTG, Falcon, Wasp, and Bucky show up to appear in the Endgame trailer?

They're all flakes

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Most people be like.

Me : I am a human being, earths most dominant species and I will not be-

Wasp : Fuck off.


Me: OK.

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A Mexican guy, a Jewish guy, a black guy, and a WASP are sitting on a park bench...

The Mexican guy picks up a genie lamp and rubs it. A genie suddenly appears and says 'I will grant you each one wish!

The Mexican guy says he wishes all Mexicans could return to Mexico and prosper off the land. The genie says Greta wish and the Mexican guy disappears.

The Jewish guy says he wishes all Jewish people could return to their Israel and live in peace. Fan


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Wasp meets bee

A wasp discusses the meaning of life with a bee.

Wasp:

"So, what do you think of the issue?"

Bee:

"Well... it all boils down to a simple question: To bee or not to bee."

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Husband and wife are sunbathing at a nudist beach... NSFW

When suddenly a wasp flies into the wife's vagina. She screams in terror, and frantically tells her husband what happened. He scoops her into his arms, throws her into the car and speeds to the hospital.

At the hospital the doctor tries a few different ways to remove the wasp with each one failing. The doctor has an idea, turns to the husband and says, "We will coat your pen


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"G'Day mate, Aussie help line here. What's the problem, Cobber?" "I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp. Now her pussy has completely closed up!"



"Bummer, mate!!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that. Bye!"

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The past tense of bee...

...is wasp!

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A fella walks into a pet shop...

A fella walks into a pet shop and says: “Give me a wasp.” The shopkeeper replies: “We don’t sell wasps.” He says: “There’s one in the window.”



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What are Ant-Man and the Wasp scared the most?

Pest controllers.

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The Spider and the Wasp

So a foreign man is living in Russia. On his morning walk, a neighbor invites the foreigner in to enjoy a cup of tea. In the corner of the room, there is a spider web - where a wasp has found itself caught.

"Ah!" Says the neighbor. "Watch this! You will see something interesting."

The spider then cuts the web from around the wasp, letting it free.


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How do you prevent a wasp from using its stinger?

Steal all the crème de menthe from his country club.

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So i walked in the pet shop and said i want to buy a wasp he said we don't sell wasps i said well theres 1 in your window

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What would you rather be or a wasp?

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I Found a Wasp in my Alcoholic Root Beer

You could say it's.. buzzed.

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What do you call a wasp?

A wanna-bee!

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The story of the wasp

So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in


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What is the past tense of "be" ?

Wasp

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A man walks into a pet shop

He goes up to the counter and says "i'll take one wasp please". The guy looks at him funny and says "We don't sell wasps sir" and the fella replies "Thats funny, you have one in the window"

Collegue told me at work the other day, made me chuckle

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Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer?

It was a sting operation.

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Why was the horny wasp afraid to go out of the nest on Halloween?

[deleted]

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A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp."

The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps." He says: "There's one in the window.

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Had a fight with a money wasp once

I got a *paysting*

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Man walks into a bakery

Says to the baker "I'd like to buy a wasp please."

The baker says "Sir, we don't sell wasps."

The man replies "Well there's one in your shop window!"

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A wasp expert was walking past a old records store in the mall....

when out of the corner of his eye he saw a beautiful looking record with a giant wasp design on it's sleeve. Upon closer inspection he learns that it is actually a collection of all the known species of wasps and the sounds their wings make when they fly. The wasp expert, who was very curious, went ahead and bought the record along with a cheap portable record player and immediately started l


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Imma be, I'm a be, I'm a be, Imma, Imma, Imma be...

Just kidding, Imma wasp.

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So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle.

So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in


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That sucks!

A man and his wife are sunbathing buttnaked in their backyard. Suddenly the man gets stung in his penis by a wasp. He screams in pain to his woman: Get help! Im allergic! So she gets up, runs inside and calls the doctor. Doctor! My husband got stung by a wasp and he's allergic, what should i do? Well, says the doctor, his only change at survival is you sucking out the venom, or else he'l


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I once played the back end of a wasp in a pantomime play.

But I thought I was the bees' knees...

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A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp."

The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps." He says: "There's one in the window."

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Why was the bumble bee wearing a yamaka?

Because he didn't want to be mistaken for a WASP

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Australian helpline...

Helpline Agent: "G'day mate, Aussie help line ere, what's the problem cobber?

Guy: "I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up"

Helpline Agent: "Ah bummer mate!"

Guy: "Cheers mate, I hadn't thought of that, bye!"


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What would you rather bea

or wasp?

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A man with a lisp goes to a cafe...

A man with a lisp is out one really hot day and decides to stop at the local cafe for an ice cream to cool down a bit. So he sits down and orders an ice cream. While he's waiting, a big wasp starts buzzing round his head. Finally, after a lot of swatting, the wasp seems to have disappeared. Eventually, the waitress arrives with his ice cream. Still nervous he looks around and says to the wait


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So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle

This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, thi


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A tale of a very smart wasp. It's worth a read.


So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enro


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Why did the bee put on a yarmulka

He didn't want anyone to think he was a WASP.

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A couple is sunbathing naked....

...suddenly a big fat wasp enters the woman's vagina. They don't know what to do and are completely panicking, luckily they catch the attention of a doctor who was walking by (or maybe he was peeping, that bastard). They explain the situation to him, he says to the husband:

"well it's very simple, you need to kill the wasp with your penis in one single powerful th


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Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

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A young couple were sunning themselves on a nudist beach when a wasp buzzed into the womans vagina.

The girl started screaming “Oh my God, help me, there’s a
wasp inside me!”

The boyfriend quickly covered her with his jacket, carried her to the car and raced to the hospital where he explained the situation.

After examining her, the doctor realized that the wasp was in too deep to be reached. The doctor thought for a moment and said “Hmm, tr


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So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle.

This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, thi


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A Guy calls the Aussie medical help line.

"G'day mate, Aussie help line, what's the problem cobber?

"My misses got stung on the minge by a wasp and now her pussy has closed up"

"Bummer, mate!"

"Thanks mate, hadn't thought of that!"

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Aussie Helpline

"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline here ...What's the problem,cobber?"

"I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up."

"Bummer, mate..!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Bye."


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SO THERE'S THIS WASP

So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in


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So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle...

This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do.

So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors.


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The Wasp

There once was a wasp, he wasn't very happy with his life in the hive. One day he decided to go back to high school. After his senior year he graduated with flying colours, a 4.0 GPA, honours with distinction and 4 scholarships. After high school he applies to Harvard. Of course, he gets accepted and breezes through, finishing with 5 phDs. He then decides he wants to go into politics. He star


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