Warrant

Jokes

The DEA search an old man's farm.

A DEA agent rolls up to a farm and speaks to the old farmer: "Sir we have received an anonymous tip off that you may be storing illegal drugs on your property. I have a warrant here to search your entire farm."

The farmer replies: "This is outrageous! I'm just a poor old man trying to earn a living, I have nothing to do with drugs. Get off my property."


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A DEA agent drives out to a farm to investigate rumours they are growing marijuana.

He approaches the farmer and shows him his warrant explaining that he will be searching the property.

Farmer: Okay, do what you gotta do. Just don't cross that fence over there.

Agent: See this warrant? It says i go where I want to. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

Farmer: Do what you gotta do.

The agent made a beeline for the forbidden fence, crossed


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There is an outstanding warrant for a man with a prosthetic leg who was caught importing drugs. But after a year, he has still not been caught

Police say they're stumped

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There is an outstanding warrant play man with a prosthetic leg who is caught importing drugs. But after a year, he still can not be found.

Police say they are stumped.

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A teenage girl was at a catholic confession booth...

Verry embarrased, she admitted that she had gotten a bit too frisky with her boyfriend the night before.

Now, the priest was relatively new to this position in the church, and didnt know how to correctly assign penance for her actions, so he told her he needed to pray for a minute to hear what God had to say.

After a few minutes the girl was becoming incredibly nervous, a


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What Does A Cop Need To Die Of A Heart Attack?

A Cardiac Arrest Warrant

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A sad aardvark walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

The aardvark says, "My best friend, a horse, no longer wants to be friends we me."

The bartender replies, "Ohhh, I'm sorry to hear that. What can I get you?"

The aardvark says, "I'll have a Budweiser."

The bartender says, "Oh wow, that really does warr


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There was a water shortage in town and and an order came down from the commanding general,

“No liberty until the water situation improves.” All of the units on the base complied except a small contingent of navy Seabees led by a crusty old warrant officer. Come Friday night all of the troops on base were confined to base except the Seabees. They were turned loose in the town and proceeded to have a grand time until the MPs rounded them up. Come Monday morning the Chief Warr


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The answer is simple.

The answer is simple. I am going to get very much blood pressure and a biological hazard like that does warrant the measures taken to be a better robot.- autocorrect

I think my phone is coming to life....help.

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15 police came to my house today with a warrant

They found two bongs and an eighth of weed.

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A police officer goes to a farm with a search warrant...

He shows the farmer the search warrant and tells him that he has the order to search for something unusual on the farm.

The farmer is confused and asks him: "Why here on my farm? Did something happen?"

The police officer just answers: "I am not allowed to tell you but I am allowed to search on your whole farm because I have a search warrant."


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How do cops start off some spousal lovin' after 20 years of marriage?

"OPEN UP, SEARCH WARRANT!"

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How do cops start of some spousal lovin' after 20 years of marriage...

"OPEN UP...SEARCH WARRANT!"

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Why aren't mass protests called weight protests?

The situation never has enough gravity to warrant it.

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The Pizza boy arrives a Libertarian meeting

\* Knock Knock\*

# GET A WARRANT!

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Why couldn't the police officer take a nap?

Because he needed an a-rest warrant first.

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Knock knock

- Knock knock
- Who's there?
- Police
- Come back with a warrant

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You have a warrant and just ran from the police. You are hiding in a church.

[deleted]

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What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.

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I think it's been enough time to warrant a Star Wars spoiler...

Yoda is dead

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What do you call a lieutenant on the run from the law?

...a Warrant Officer.

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I have an outstanding warrant

for loitering.

*I don't know why my brain thought this was the funniest joke to replay during my sleep this morning but it made me wake up giggling.

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There's a warrant out for my arrest

[deleted]

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The drinking age in Alabama has changed to 25

Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school

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Alabama has changed its drinking age to 28

Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school

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Remember: When Opportunity Knocks...

They probably don't have a search warrant and there is no reason to open the door.

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A few racist jokes

- Give 4 reason why ET better is then a Mexican.

He came alone.

He already owned a bike.

He learned our language.

He went back home.

- What is the name of the document that has the most common names for black people?.

A warrant.

- What language does a Jewish homo speak?

Heblew.

- wh


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There's an old Italian man

There's an old Italian man, and every year, he and his son plant a tomato garden together. This particular year, however, the son is in jail, and so the old man writes him a letter.

"My son, it is regrettable that you can't be here to plant the tomato garden with me this year. The soil is too hard for me to dig myself. I look forward to the day you come home so we ca


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