Warming

Jokes

It was really heart warming when my friends explained what the word "many" meant.

It meant a lot

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Heres what you can do to stop global warming: chew a gum and drink some cold water then breath that shit cold

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Me:watches argument about global warming

Also me: *oh shit thing are getting heated*

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How did Jesus survive in the desert for that long?

Easily, Back then there was no global warming.

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Trump said global warming was a hoax and he could easily make temperatures "the lowest ever recorded" this summer.

So he switched the US to Celsius.

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There wasnt global warming in the Middle Ages because

the earth was flat back then

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My Favorite Pickup Line: How Much Does A Polar Bear Weigh?

Soon to be nothing; polar bears are going extinct. Global warming is killing us all, girl.

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Why are Islamic oil producing countries in favour of global warming?

They are waging Jihot!

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Theres a small community trying to save our world and reduce global warming

Anti-vaxxers

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Donald Trump doesn't believe in global warming

Would be a lot cooler if he did

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I heard global warming is just a social construct

If it weren't for our society, it wouldn't exist.

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Thanks to global warming, Inuit women are being forced to wear less and less clothing.

*No ice.*

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Due to global warming, Inuit women are being forced to wear less and less clothing.

No ice.

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Donald Trump DOES have a plan to combat global warming!

He's putting ICE everywhere!

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A solution for global warming

Come on guys. Let's be serious now. We all know that the earth is flat, and we know that global warming is a problem.
Now, we can use the fact that the earth is flat, and stop global warming.
We need to do a simple thing. We flip the earth to its' other side, so we will be on the side where it cools down.
Now you might think, how did I come up with this brilliant soluti


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Stop Farting

It causes Global Warming.

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What will the world be like, when global warming hits its maximum?

Noice.

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Why isnt Donald Trump concerned about global warming?

Because a rising sea level lifts all boats

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Global Warming is Real!

My dad used to always walk to school up hill in the snow both ways.

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Friend: I dont believe in global warming.

Me: It would be so much cooler if you did though.

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Im not saying global warming is real...

But the weather was a lot more consistent when people were sacrificing newborn babies to the sun god!

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You gotta wonder if after all this global warming talk

If someone in a factory somewhere around the world in a straw factory will say

That's it. That's the last straw

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Why is America and Russia participating in a Second Cold war?

Because according to our greatest leaders, this is how you address global warming

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Global warming is causing the Mobster Ocean to shink. Guess what they are reclassifying it to.

Yeah sea.

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How much of Canadas Northern-most Territory will be left if we dont stop Global Warming?

Nunavut

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An environmental scientist and a politician are arguing about the effects of global warming

About what? It doesn’t particulately matter.

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Global warming

Is a padded bra.

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Some good news. Finally, President Trump is going to do something about global warming

He became alarmed when another chunk of ice fell off Melania.

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How do you get rid of global warming

You kill all the blacks

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Why don't people take Flat Earther climate change activists seriously?

They don't believe in GLOBAL warming.

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What happens when you put a globe in a microwave?

Global warming.

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Ive solved the global warming crisis using a commonly overlooked musical technique.


I programmed it using a sophisticated Al Gore Rhythm

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Man, all these arguments about global warming..

They're just so heated...

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If you meet a woman, start talking about global warming.

It’s a real icebreaker.

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What caution sign did they put for boiling water?

WARMING!

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Breaking News: Donald Trump floats idea to solve Global Warming.

A Nuclear Winter.

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When will Republicans accept the fact that "global warming" can cause extreme cold weather?

When Hell freezes over.

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When someone dont believe in global warming

Be a lot cooler if they did

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Youd think Ocasio-Cortez would support global warming...

Given how much she hates ICE and all.

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When meeting someone new, start with a conversation about global warming...

It's breaking the ice.

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Give global warming a chance.

Eventually it'll get rid of all the fucking snowflakes.

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Give global warming a chance.

Eventually it'll get rid of all the fucking snowflakes.

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Job Opportunity for Flat Earthers

Because of the recent Arctic cold snap. Delta Airlines has been hiring de-icers in their Atlanta hub for the expected crowds at SuperBowl. Most of the jobs have been going to Flat Earthers, because by definition, they don't believe in *Global* Warming but are fine with Plane Warming.

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What do global warming and Barack Obama have in common?

Trump likes to pretend they don't exist

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So glad global warming isnt real

I mean if it was it’d be really hot and not -50 degrees outside!

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Question: How much does a polar bear weigh?

Answer: Enough to break the ice?

Response: No actually, with global warming and everything they don’t weigh as much as they used to and it’s getting harder to find ice to break.

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First we had an ice age, now there is global warming.

It's almost as if the Earth is bipolar.

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I've had it with climate change deniers...

The global warming truthers are so anti-climatic!

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Whats not a good icebreaker?

Global warming

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Is global warming real?

Or is it the lack of human sacrifices?
(Just really dont know where to put this without raising some kinda alarms about trying to kill people)

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