Violet

Jokes

Violent video games make children more violet according to new study

Yet I wonder why Thor had beige coloured skin and peace loving Thanos had Violet

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red.......

violets are blue

....if violets are blue whats violet?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A woman visits a local florist to get some flowers for her mother.

As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and inquires about it.

"Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for hooking him up with a woman I met yesterday."

"Yesterday?!" she gasps. "How did they hit it of


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A blind woman goes out shopping...

A blind old woman goes out shopping, and instead of walking into the local electronics store, she ends up walking into the pet store.

She says to the manager at the desk: "Hello there. I was wondering, do you sell infrared grillers?"

The manager says back: "I'm afraid we don't have those in at the moment. But can I offer you an ultra violet chimpa


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Three girls are in the back seat, their parents are in the front

Girl 1: Mom, why did you name me Violet?

Mother: Oh Violet, your grandmother dropped a violet on your head the day you were born.

Girl 2: Mom, why did you name me Daisy?

Mother: When we were walking out of the hospital the nurse put a daisy on your head.

Girl 3: Jwoandbwoqmsbonbf, whwhsbsowngk

Father: Shut up cinderblock


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red, Violets are blue

Violets are violet not fucking blue.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red, violets are...

violet. That's why they fucking call them violets jackass.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Rose left 'em red

Violet left 'em blue
Rose was too rough
And Violet didn't want to screw

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A boat carrying Red paint collided with a boat carrying Violet paint

Their crews were marooned.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If roses are red and violets are blue...

THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THE COLOR VIOLET.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Purple is the best color for camouflage

Have you ever seen a soldier in violet ?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red, here's something new...

Violets are violet. Not fucking blue.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How did the colors get rid of purple from the rainbow?

Non-violet protests

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a color that committed murder?

Violet.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

On her sixth birthday, Joe decided to get his daughter, Violet, a new bike and teach her to ride it.

The whole family - Joe, Joy, Violet, and Billy - piled into the family station wagon and went down to the local toy store to pick one out. On entering the store, Violet immediately honed in on the perfect bike - it had streamers, a pinwheel, a bell, and a kickstand. It even was colored violet - her namesake *and* favorite color.

Not only was it the perfect bike - it was even priced b


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Three girls meet on the first day of school.

They ask each other what their names are. The first girl says in a sweet voice "My parents named me rose, because when my mummy was pregnant, a petal from a rose drifted down and landed on her tummy." The second girl says softly "My parents called me violet, because when my mummy was pregnant, the petal from a violet floated down on to her tummy." Then they both turn to the thi


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red violet are blue

I dream I eat potato
wake up with no shoe
politiburo take wife
soon I take life
finally end

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red, violets are violet..

Twin towers KABOOM.
Taliban pilot.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A girl asks her father...

A girl asks her father, "Why was I called violet?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were a baby a violet landed on your head."

Another girl asks her father, "Why was I called Rose?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head."

Another girl asks her dad, "Heyasdeasuadwxosj" And the d


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you find at an end of the rainbow?

Violet

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why Pacquiao Lost to Mayweather

This is the reason why he lost click this [Link](http://gfycat.com/TotalPaleIbadanmalimbe)
She didn't use it during the match

edit: oh crap is it still ok post to other link outsite since the gif is the joke itself :( please message me
if i violet the rules so that i will delete this

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

There was a father with 3 daughters...

The first daughter comes up to him and asks "daddy, why is my name rose?" To which the dad replies "Because, sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head!". Later the second daughter comes and says, "Father, why is my name violet?" And the dad replies
"Because, cutie, when you were born, a violet petal fell onto your head!" Then the th


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

This Manatee joke has it all (OC)

One day a wife is just berating her husband, as she is at wit's end with his incessant cracking of, what she calls, "those damn punny-dad-jokes". Of which, a large serving are directed at her recent and dramatic weight gain.

"I can't see how anyone can think this or any of your kind of humor is funny, Earl, you are a horrid comedian!", declares the wife f


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Time to flip this bitch, a joke translated into french (with the english version)

Il était une fois une petite fille. Dans le monde de la petite fille, personne ne disait la phrase « jardin violet ». Un jour, la petite fille a voulu savoir pourquoi personne ne disait « jardin violet ». Elle a posé une question à son prof, « Qu’est-ce qu’un jardin violet ? » Le prof est devenu furieux. Il lui a crié


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Anything can happen at a ska show

A few weeks ago, my band was opening for a slightly more famous band at a moderately large local venue. This was one of the biggest gigs we'd had yet, and so I was seriously stressing about it beforehand, even though our sax player kept telling me not to. "Relax, you've been playing keyboards all your life, even when you fuck up you sound good." Yeah, thanks, way to boost my co


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

PTA Meeting

Three fathers are waiting around at a PTA meeting. They are mulling over life, family and education over by the coffee and the doughnuts until the first dad says, 'I recently taught my son Ben about Taxes. Gee, I wish I hadn't though. Every time I ask him to get me a beer now, he cracks open a tinny and downs half. He then proceeds to say, "There's your beer tax Daddy!"�


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE