Villain

Jokes

What did they call the blind villain?

Dead Eye

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Which DC Comics villain basically had disfigurement destined for his future the minute he was born?

Harvey Dent

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In one far away planet...

There is a substance called ‘nue’. Once something falls in it, it can’t get out and will sink and suffocate. There was once a woman who owned a cat, and one day she insulted someone- but she didn’t know they were a super villain. So, the villain, being a villain, took her to his secret base, stole her cat and threw it in nue. As the girl screamed, the villain laughed and sa


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Back when I was a Scooby Doo villain I had an allotment....

Every time I went to tend to my vegetables I would find them covered in thin sheets of aluminium.

Those pesky kids were always foiling my plot.

(I'm sorry)

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You either die a Hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the Villain

After several fights, Batman finally cornered Joker and he's sure he can put the Joker in jail forever.

Before he arrested Joker, he asked. "You know Harvey Dent once said" "You either die a Hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the Villain". "What do you think about that?"

"Oh, that quote" Joker laughed. "Harve


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In mu opinion, jokes about Thor Ragnarok's main villain...

Are Hella funny.

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If you always fasten your seatbelt...

You might see yourself become the villain.

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Can you name the villain from The Jungle Book?

...because I Shere Khan!

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Thanos is...

...a good MCU villain. Don’t you agree?

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Rami Malek will be the next James Bond Villain

He will be playing the Queen

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Which evil villain would most likely defeat Indiana Jones?

Cobra Commander

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Caitlyn Jenner wants to play a Marvel Villain in the upcoming movie. Which character should she play?

Tranos.

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There was a villain who could split himself into threes.

One day he decided to rob a store, however in the process, two parts of the villain were caught, one escaped.
He was a one-third criminal.

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Marvel's greatest villain is Thanos. DC's greatest villain

is Rotten Tomatoes.

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What do you call a Kirby villain who sells cocaine, and plays Dungeons amp Dragons?

King Dedede the DD who plays D&D.

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If Caitlyn Jenner wanted to play a marvel villain, what would she be called?

Tranos.

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What villain would Caitlyn Jenner play in The Avengers?

Tranos

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The universe's greatest villain acquired his sixth Infinity Stone, and in the snap of a finger...

...half the NFL's fans stopped caring.

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The roads were so bad after this weekend's snowstorm I was the villain from The King And I...

I was crawlin' home

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Who's the most villain superhero?

Hu-Man

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I was told in the next Star Wars movie, a villain would blind an innocent little bird.

Porg eye.

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Ya know, you'd think the Lorax would make a fair villain for the Dr.Suess tale "The Grinch", because of the trees and whatnot.

But instead all we get is some green anti social prick with depression.

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There is one villain Iron Man could never be mad at.

He finds Magneto just too darn attractive.

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My friend asked me if my favorite spaceman was the villain from Superman 2 or the first man on the moon. I told him:

"Neil before Zod"

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My friend asked me if my favorite spaceman was the villain from Superman 2 or the first man on the moon. I told him:

"Neil before Zod"

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Your mom so fat...

She ate the punchline.

Now gimme karma like that PandR doctor villain gives his daughter money.

Should be OC, but I didn't check. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat!

Also, wow me with your 'real joke in the comments'.

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A super-villain walks into a bar.

The bartender says “we don’t serve your kind here”
The super-villain is baffled by this and asks “why not?”
And the bartender says “ because you never turn the super bill in

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Which Batman villain was excluded from "The Snap?"

Two-Face, he's perfectly balanced.

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Caitlyn Jenner wants to be a marvel villain...

I heard Caitlyn Jenner wants to be a marvel villain.... You have spiderman and iron man

She could always be foreman


Thanks to a Facebook comment for this joke.

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What do you call a super villain paedophile?

The Underminer

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Mr. Incredible delivers the last blow to the evil villain who finally slumps to the floor in defeat.

The villain lies on the floor defeated, while Bob and his family rejoin and make sure the villain is arrested by the police.

Before being taken away, the villain looks at the family and says "Who are you people?"

"We're The Incredibles 2"

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Why Darth Vader?

Since I was little people asked why did I want to be Darth Vader. Easy, I wanna be a villain so I can saunter everywhere. Luke is always sprinting somewhere, always running, always sweaty and on the move. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Fuck no, and I ain’t about to either.

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I have the power to heal others. I am a villain. Who am I?

The American healthcare system.

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Plans of a Villain.

One day, on a beautiful smoggy day, European Villain Dr. Dum Bass was crafting his next sinister plot. As he reached for his cabinet, a light went off in his head.

He had put together these plans with the utmost care and precision. None could go wrong. He decided to take a gamble and pick a random file, hand it to his servants, and in the snap of two fingers, it'd be in action. E


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What do you call a green and gold Spiderman villain who plays the flute?

Electro Tull

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What do you call a green andnyellow Spiderman villain playing a flute?

Electroe-Tull

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Did you guys see who they cast as the villain in the upcoming aquaman movie?

They finally got a black manta play him

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Demetrius: "Villain, what hast thou done?"

Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo."

Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother."

Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

Shakespearean "Yo momma" diss:

Act IV, Scene II of Titus Andronicus, Aaron taunts his lover's sons

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Why is the villain of Avengers: Infinity War so good at tracking Infinity Stones?

Because he's good at smelling... he's The Nose.

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Why would a Batman villain be disguised as a nurse?

To Poison IV!

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What do you call a villain from Pakistan?

[deleted]

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What do you call an ant sized villain?

The *ant*agonist.

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My sex life is like a Bond villain...

Goldfinger

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If an Iron Man movie was made with Magneto as the villain, what would its title be?

Stop hitting yourself.

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Hard Rex Wolfe: A Sequel to Brutal Villain Badguy

Hard Rex Wolfe
A Short Story
by Dick Wanke
Rex Wolfe was thinking about Villain Badguy again. Villain was a brutal Rolf Harris with agile kidneys and veiny testes.

Rex walked over to the window and reflected on his Slutty surroundings. He had always loved Skanky Flange Street with its talented, tender tunnels. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel horny


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James Bond is having trouble at the agency...

James Bind is having trouble. He has been demoted three times, and he will be fired if this keeps happening.

The first time, he was kidnapped by a villain and failed to escape in a badass way. He only survived because the agency sent a squad to arrest the villain. For his failure to escape on his own, he was demoted.

The second time, he accidentally shot two men on his ow


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Which villain did Batman face when he suffered a fatal masturbation accident?

Deathstroke.

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How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

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DIE HARD JOKE

What are they planning on calling the next die hard movie in which the main villain is a lesbian terrorist?

DYKE HARD

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I told my girlfriend her bond villain nickname is Winter Snow...

Because she is so flakey

I then called her Nigerian Prince for not delivering on her promises.

True story

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