Unable

Jokes

Is that your dog?

No, actually it's adopted. My wife and I were unable to conceive a dog naturally.

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A young student was sitting in a math class unable to comprehend basic arithmetic

A young student was sitting in a math class unable to comprehend basic arithmetic. As the teacher was reviewing fundamental concepts for the 3rd grade class, she noticed that this student in particular struggled to do even simple addition.

Calling upon the student's name, she asked him, "What's 2 plus 3?"

"I don't know", said the studen


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Have you heard of the parable of the long spoons? It goes something like this:

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I like my women like I like my coffee

Unable to say no

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What sort of fruit would two people be that wanted but were unable to get married secretly?

Cantaloupe.

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My cousin is in a hospital, unable to speak or stand on his legs.

Apparently newborns are like that.

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My friend has a type of color-blindness that makes him unable to see the color of dried blood, though he can picture it in his head.

That makes sanguine a pigment of his imagination.

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Why are orphans unable to play baseball?

They’ve never known where home is.

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If I'm unable to read chinese but in china anyway...

...am I ganderin' at mandarin?

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I was in a job interview.

The guy asked me what my biggest strength was but I was unable to answer.

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So I phoned up the next day and said, "Hi, it's me."

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"Sorry, who is this?"

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"I had a job interview with your company yesterday, and I was asked what my biggest strength


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Texting: can't

An email ur gonna send to a teacher: I cannot

An essay: Henceforth I am unable to can

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Why are women unable to do boxing?

Because they’ve got no rights.

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A man woke up from a coma 10 years later surrounded by his friends and family

Man: When did I get friends?

Friend 1: Turns our you weren’t such a bad guy when you were unconscious, and unable to speak.

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A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.


The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.


Finally, after many side glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls."


Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thin


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A woman had twin boys

Unfortunately, she was unable to keep them, so she put them up for adoption. She was able to find loving homes for both of them overseas, but it was many years since she had seen them.

Then, just before their 21st birthday she got two letters, one from Egypt, the other from Spain. Each son had tracked down their biological mother and wanted to visit her.

She was overjoyed


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So a duck walks up to a lemonade stand...

And says nothing, as he is still a duck and unable to speak English or order grapes

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90 of people are unable to solve this riddle by guessing the opposite of each word.

Always

​

Coming

​

From

​

Take

​

Me

​

Down

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Did you hear about the lonely guy who ordered a parrot so he could finally talk to someone and experience something new?

Well, he’s still mute. It turned out he’s also dyslexic and had to return the parrot. After all, it had no eye-patch, wooden leg and it was completely unable to navigate the seven seas.

(Obviously OC)

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Youve reached the tinnitus association, we are currently unable to take your call -

“ - Please leave a message after the tone.”

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I would have easily bench pressed 100kgs

I was just unable to pick up the 25kgs to put it on the bar.

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A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks " why the long face"?

The horse unable to speak english, shits on the floor and leaves.

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One day TV is broadcasting about a gun shot in campus and the experts analyze that it is linked to the murder's massive time in playing violence video game.

Mum: No sense, my son is always playing dating sims and he still unable to find a girlfriend.

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Due to turning into laundry detergent, I was unable to go to work today.

What can I say? My hands were Tide.

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Being unable to get over a cold through sheer moxie has given me a new appreciation for modern medicine.

It can be good to have Amoxicillin.

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Being unable to will myself over a bout of strep, I realize there's a limit to the force of determination.

I suppose it's good to have Amoxicillin.

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Being unable to get over a cold without antibiotics has curbed my brash, confident attitude.

Now I have amoxicillin.

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My coworker is unable to attend next weeks innuendo seminar

I have to fill her slot instead

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Everyone will like this

Why are men so confused while playing football with women??
They are unable to decide on which ball to focus on

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Suicide is nothing to laugh about.

Well, not unless a fat clown dressed as Willy Wonka hung himself with a bungee cord noose, and as he died he bounced up and down slowly crushing a midget dressed as an oompa loompa that was tied down to the ground, and unable to move.

That would be fucking hilarious!

NOTE: Yes this is OC, and yes I'm in therapy.


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Bubba died in a horrific accident and they were unable to reach his family to identify the body.

So they brought in his two best friends Leroy and Jimmy, as the three of them went everywhere together. When they walked into the morgue they were unable to tell for certain, as his face had been badly mangled. Leroy asks the mortician to roll him over so he can check to be sure. As soon as he rolls him over both of the friends answer "Nope, ain't him!" The mortician is a little


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Two British blokes were having a conversation

One of them mentioned about redoing his bathroom.

The other says "you hav'in a lark?" as his mate clearly was unable to to do the job.

The first guys says " Nah only a shower"

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What do you say about the sailor who is unable to tie knots?

He can't knot.

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How do you call the condition when a crocodile is unable to get an erect penis?

Ereptile dysfunction.

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Unable to read the name on the label of a package, a postman decides that the weight of the box and the words left on the ripped label mean the package is for the local book shop. Ive got a package that I think is for you, the mailman tells the store owner.

“Well, what’s the name on the label?” the store owner asks.

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“That’s the problem. It’s obliterated.”

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“Well, it can’t be for me,” the store owner answers. “My name is John.”

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If a cow is unable to produce milk...

Is it an udder failure?

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What do you call it when someones unable to find someone able to help them through their pregnancy?

Having a midwife crisis

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Why are transgenders so triggered about being unable to get into the military?

Doesn't the military discharge the mentally ill?

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Why was the vegetable farmer unable to escape the thieves with his produce?

Because the vegetables were to cucumbersome.

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A trombonist attempts to enter a bar, but is unable to, due to his trombone constantly hitting the door frame.

Wah, wah, wahwahwahwah...

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A trombonist attempts to enter a bar, but is unable to, due to his trombone always hitting the door frame.

Wah, wah, wahwahwahwah...

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A billionaire woman golfer insists on having a separate caddy for each of her golf clubs.

But when she gets to the first green of the first hole, she gets confused by all the people and is unable to find her caddy and putter.
The moral: If you play with too many putters you wont know who the caddy is.

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A man has been living all of his life in confusion and unable to comprehend what the hell is going on around him. Desperate, he resolved to put himself out of misery by making a loop to hang himself. But no matter how many times he tries to put the loop on his neck, he always fails

He’s always out of the loop

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Cringey star wars joke

Just thought of a cringey star wars joke while being unable to sleep

Q- What was Hans Solo's response to Princess Leia when she asked where he had been all her life?

A- In Alderaan places

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I visited the Middle East last year...

And I had to spend a whole school year there. It was weird because their schools are unable to have drivers education and sex education on the same day.

Too hard for the camels.

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Why is Shrimp unable to walk?

Cuz she limps

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A boy had a speech impediment and is unable to articulate anything more than the letters of the alphabet.

He opens his wallet, only to sadly exclaim:

O I C U R M T

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Why are 60 of all men unable to sleep after sex?

Because they are going home.

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Who's the boss now?

After God created man, all parts of his body decided they'd need a boss to function efficiently. The brain stood up and claimed the title explaining its importance as an organ. The heart interfered and explained its own importance. The lungs, too, contested strongly in its own favor. It soon turned into a chaos. Meanwhile, the asshole, being tired of all the commotion, decided to stop its fun


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Cock-a-doodle-doo

A Farmer’s wife wakes up to find her husband dead. It was unexpected, and she is unable to keep the farm afloat by herself. She decides she will have to remarry.

News of the potential bride spreads. Many farmers come to win her heart. Unable to decide between three she says, “bring what you think makes you the best fit for me and this farm.”

The three m


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Cock-a-doodle-doo

A Farmer’s wife wakes up to find her husband dead. It was unexpected, and she is unable to keep the farm afloat by herself. She decides she will have to remarry.

News of the potential bride spreads. Many farmers come to win her heart. Unable to decide between three she says, “bring what you think makes you the best fit for me and this farm.”

The three m


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