Twitch

Jokes

NSFW What do you get when you cross Twitch with Mixer?

A really sloppy smoothie.

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Hey I got something serious to discuss. Did you guys hear about the kidnapping at the school?

He's fine. He woke up a little later and feels a lot better now. :-)
~Twitch basetradeTV

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HELP! I need a pun for a twitch username.

So as the above title states, I need a catchy twitch username that involves embroidery puns.

​

Anything would be helpful because I could sort of make it my own, or get an idea from what you say.

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What did the Monkey say to the Snake? Twitch Meme

MonkaS

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What do you call a cow with a twitch?

A streamer cow

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What do most Twitch viewers have in common?

They’re younger siblings.

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I plan to create a new economic system based on using twitch emotes as currency

I call it Kappatalism

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A Russian Scientist Teaches frogs to Jump on Command

Altogether he has four frogs. He says, "Jump, froggies, jump."

Interestingly enough they all jump at the same time.

He cuts off their front right legs to see if they jump differently. Indeed, they do. They jump on his verbal command once again.

He keeps amputating their limbs one by one, testing jump patterns, until he gets to their last legs.


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What do you call a disabled woman?

A twitch thot

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What playabe character is better in R6?

twitch, youtube or facebook gaming?

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What is Twitch for?

T'watch streamers.

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What do you call a fat twitch streamer?

OBS

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What do you call a voodoo live stream?

Twitch-craft.

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What do hookers, strippers and twitch streamers all have in common?







Their job.

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My favourite female Twitch streamer seems to have put on a bit of weight...

Hmmm, the thot thickens

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What do you call a streamer with a sub goal.

Subpar.

Ayyyyyyy I don't know where else to post this and I just thought it up and too much of bitch to post it in a twitch chat ayyyyy

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When was the last time the Twitch Streamer got laid?

About a Fortnite ago.

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What's something twitch streamers and Mosquitoes have in common?

They both hate being swatted.

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What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky.

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The difference between twitch streamers and homeless pan handlers

a computer

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What do female pornstars do when not making porn

They stream on twitch

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What does Twitch TV send when someone dies?

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Thots and players

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How does a Twitch streamer prepare for a convention?

He pax

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My racist friend was streaming on twitch the other night...

[deleted]

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What's a Twitch streamer's favourite drink?

A Kappacino.

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Why can't house flies stream on twitch?

Because they would immediately get swatted.

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I committed grand theft auto once ...

... so a SWAT team kicked down my door while I streamed it on Twitch.

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What is similar about a twitch mod and an a reddit mod?

<message deleted>

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Bubble Butt

A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
The doctor replies, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt."
Two months later, she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down. H


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How are reddit users and twitch users are similar?

<message deleted>

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Jimmy Kimmel and the Fine Brothers working together NSFW

Pornhub acquires Twitch

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Why do some people dislike twitch chat?

It's just not their Kappa tea

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Posting on Reddit is EXACTLY like brain surgery...

One wrong move and somebody has a new twitch.

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What do girls and Twitch accounts have in common?

[deleted]

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Service man!

So my stove broke and I ordered a service man to come out and fix it.

He turned out to be german. This is how the conversation went.

Service man: Hulu, I'm here to fix the stove. Can you Shomi where it is?

Me: Great, come in. It's right over there.

Service man: Can you help me Sling this stove so we can pull it out?

Servic


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What do you call a cow with a twitch?

[deleted]

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Micheal J. Fox made a Twitch account.

He doesn't play games, he just sits there.

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A steed was having sex with a fox

The steed was pumping and carassing, neighing and kissing yet 45 minutes in the fox was still laying there, not moving an inch.

Fed up with the lack of respobse the horse sneers and says: i do all the work and all you do is lay there. Do something so I know you're enjoying it too.

The fox answers: Well if you'd pull out a bit maybe i could twitch my neck.


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What do you call a cow with a nervous twitch?

Beef jerky

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Why do you have 0 viewers on Twitch?

Because not even Nightbot is watching you.

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What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky.

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Twitch Followers Challenges (Funny to see)

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How does Twitch (Streaming Site) Chat make money?

Kappatalism!

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Twitch during the battlefront gameplay.

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Help spam a twitch?

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What do you call a fat computer?

A Dell.



--
Credit where credits due. Got this off of some dude's donation on Summ1t's twitch stream:P

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Twitch Stream

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What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef Jerky

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A guy walks into his therapist's office

visibly distraught, nervously shaking and exclaims "I'm a wigwam!" his head tweaks a little, eyes twitch and says "I'm a tepee". Another head twitch "I'm a wigwam!! I'm a tepee!" *twitch* "I'm a wigwam!" ... "I'm a tepee"!

The therapist grabs him firmly by the shoulders and says "Calm down! Calm down,


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I'll take a Clooney, and 2 Upton's please.

Turned to my wife and said, "Amazon is buying Twitch for 1 billion.
She said "the dancer?"
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yea hun, the dancer.

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