Twinkle

Jokes

What was the popular nursery rhyme in russia back in the 1800s?

Twinkle twinkle little tsar

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Youre eyes are like the stars!

Not because they twinkle, they just are so far apart.

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Anesthesiologist to his patient: Are you insured or paying out of pocket?

Patient: Out of pocket.

Anesthesiologist: Twinkle, twinkle little star...

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What's a pee fetishist's favorite song?

Twinkle twinkle little star

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A young lady in New Orleans is having her 16th birthday party...

A young lady in New Orleans is having her 16th birthday party when she runs up to her uncle and firmly tells him: "When you gonna take me to Florida or don't you remember your promise?" Her uncle seem a little confused, and as he gazed down at her quizzically, and a twinkle in his eyes and stated- "I never said I was going to take you to Florida" The young lass, shocked


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Why'd the star go to the bathroom?

Because it had to twinkle.

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A man is only able to say a single word every year...

A man has a curse, he is only able to say a single word every year. But if he doesn't say a word that year he can say two the next year, then three, and so on.

One day he meets a beautiful woman and wants to ask her to marry him, but he has no words saved up so he must wait four years.

So he waits four years and he is finally able to ask her the question. He looks he


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Fight between husband and wife...

Fight between husband and wife ......instead of resorting to shouting, abusing or physical force... they write poems to each other. .....


WIFE:

* I wrote your name on sand it got washed..
* I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
* Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:

* God saw me


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Mental Hospital is not so far

Twinkle Twinkle little star, You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far.

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Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, oh, I know who you are.

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Why did the star go to the bathroom?

Because it had to Twinkle.

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A man is suffering from restless leg syndrome

After countless unsuccessful medical treatments he becomes discouraged thinking he will never be able to enjoy a good night's sleep due to the overwhelming tingling sensations he experiences through his legs at night.

Having exhausted every other option, he decides to try his luck with a witch doctor. He explains his symptoms to the witch doctor, and the doctor simply replies:<


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Twinkle Twinkle little slut...

Twinkle twinkle little slut

Name a guy you haven't fucked,

Was he skinny? Was he tall?

Nevermind you did them all

Twinkle Twinkle little bitch

Close your legs, it smells like fish

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A dog lays by the railroad tracks..

And falls asleep with his tail hanging over them a little. A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too.

Moral of the story? Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.

This is my grandpa's favorite joke. He has Alzheimers and can't remember much, but t


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An older Chinese couple run a restaurant...

The man suggests they could spice up their increasingly stagnant sex-life...

"Perhaps we could try Sixty Nine?" he says to his still lovely wife with a twinkle in his eye.

She looks at him with a blank stare, not looking enthusiastic at all.

"You mean beef with broccoli?"

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Irish Viagra

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor.
"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."
"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into hi


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How does Kanye make Kim Kardashian's eyes twinkle?

He shines a flashlight in her ear.

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Twinkle twinkle little star...

Twinkle twinkle little star, i wanna hit you with a car
Throw you off a tree so high, hope you break your neck and die.

Credit: http://funny-jokes.eu/

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Did You Ever Stop And Think??

Did You Ever Stop And Think??

¤ Do blind people dream,can they see their dreams?

¤ If corn oil is made from corns and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,then what is baby oil made of?

¤ Why do Twinkle Twinkle little star &amp; a b c song have the same tunes?

STOP SINGING AND READ ON!!!

¤ If e


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Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?







How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?







Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
<


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