I found Jesus

Translation-I found my acid stash and got my hallucinations back.

Brown Sugar by The Rolling Stones

Translation: Brown pussy is confusingly tasty and to this day people don't know why.

Heres a direct translation of a very funny joke from Spanish: Which animal goes around on one foot?

A male duck! Obviously!

My wife has decided to adopt a "Feng Shui" approach to our apartment

Which is a Chinese translation of "you no longer get an opinion"

Fck you, you son of a btch. You can go suck a dck. I hope you die.

Translation: How does this translate to love?

Congresswoman asking Michael Cohen if he would commit to not making movie or book deals.

**Cohen:** No bitch! I do whatever the fuck I want. I've been disbarred and already going to jail. I'm selling out like a muthafucking garage sale.

^(This is my live angry translation of the proceedings)

Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?

Because his Mother would yell, "Ven Puckaaaah!".

pronounced in chicken voice. (translation, Come Here!)

h/t FB

A couple is walking down the street...

When one of them hit the other one but.

\- ¡Ehi! ¡that was my ass!

\- Well, thats not that bad... consider it might have been not yours...

​

(not native english, hope the translation is good enough)

What's the word that doesn't have a translation in Hindi?

Toilet

TIL about some changes Epic Games made when they published Fortnite: Battle Royale in Germany

When Epic Games wanted to publish Fortnite in Germany, they had to change some aspects about the game to appeal to the Germans. Other than translation, the game was changed from "100 player Battle Royale" to "Everyone else is a Jew, go kill them". This is why Germany has the highest global win rate.

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A man meets a foreign girl and says:"Hey girl, you're like Albert Einstein's last words"

Lost in translation

Hama shama boomie gando lok tooki pootoy clickobato

Translation: idiots will click any crap clickbait.

My French teacher refuses to give me the the translation to some english words

Feels like he's trying to sabotage me.

Russians certainly have an interesting sense of humor

I was reading Russian jokes, and this is the direct translation of one of them:


Person 1: Hello Dear, I have good news and bad news

Person 2: Start with the good news!

Person 1: Airbag has been depoloyed

I hate Mexican jokes...

Nunca puedo entenderlos.

Edit: The translation of this is "I never understand them".

Spanish w translation Cual es es la risa ms picante?

Ahí Ahí Ahí

Translation: What is the spiciest laugh?
Pepper pepper pepper

Translation of Polish joke I heard once

Russian enters a train and searches for a seat. He notices one in which dog lays down. He asks the owner, older French lady, if she could take him off the seat.

-Are you kidding me?! All of you Russians are so impolite. She's tired. Look for another seat.

Russian gives up, but searches for another seat. He doesn't find one, so comes back to the French lady.

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What if the whole '72 virgins in heaven' thing was a missed translation?

[deleted]

TIL Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto translates you to "Thank You Mr. Robot"

The Spanish translation is Muchos Gracias Marco Rubio

The latest poll taken by the Government asked people who live in Ireland if they think Polish immigration is a serious problem:

23% of respondents answered: „Yes, it is a serious problem.“
77% of respondents answered: „Zaden. To nie jest powazna kwestia przy“


*If you need a (somewhat correct, I hope) translation: "Nothing, that can't be a serious question."*

If you can't figure out your location on a coordinate plane...

...Are you lost in translation?

Did you hear what happened in the Multi-Language Translation Race?

Nobody made it to the Finnish Line.

A boy comes home with a swollen cheek...

His dad sees him and asks him what happened.

"I was at the cafeteria today and teacher was in front of me. I noticed that her skirt was in her ass so I thought I'd help her and pulled it out. That's when she turned around and slapped me"

The father sits him down and says to him

"Listen son, I know you meant good but women don't l

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Got bored last night and tried looking up the spanish translation of "do not use", but it ended up being no use.

A russian, a brit, a german and a lithuanian are speaking...

The brit says: we have a huge sea. The german says: we have a huuuge culture. The russian says: we have a lot of red flags. The lithuanian says: My uncle had a horse, who crossed the sea, shat (shit) on the culture and wiped his ass with red flags.

The translation didn't quite work doe.

Mom, why am I dark if my father's skin is alabaster and yours is too?

Rough translation from Spanish:

Child:Mom, why am I dark if my father's skin is alabaster and yours is too?

Mother: With how drunk I was that night it's a miracle you don't bark!

Scots with translation What's the difference between Patsy Kensit and Walt Disney?

Patsy kens it and Walt disnae

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Patsy knows it and Walt doesn't

Thor.

He follows the same naming conventions as macho men with their dogs. Thor means thunder. But also the literal translation of Mjolnir is "crusher".

I could tell you a joke about Bill Murray in Japan

it would be lost in translation.

A mud joke

(This is a translation from a french joke and my translation skill isn't great. I Hope it still makes someone laugh)

A woman who is feeling very ill goes to the doctor.
After a long examination, the doctor says "You seem to have a very serious disease, and I don't think I can do anything to save you. I give you no more than one week to live"
The

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A Nigerian man.

*A Nigerian man fainted outside Mr. Biggs (an eatery). Soon a crowd gathered around him and someone suggested, “Give him some water, it will help.” Hearing this, the man opened one eye and said, “Commot from here, if na water I wan drink, I for go faint for water board…” (Translation: “Get lost! If I needed water, I would faint in front of a water facility)

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One of the dirties jokes I know NSFW

So, the couple is making love. He's doing her from behind, and all of a sudden he slaps her ass.
- what for?! - she asked
- your tits are too small!
and they proceed. After some time he slaps her again.
- what is it now?
- your ass is small too.
She sobbed and lovemaking continues. But the she slaps her again.
- why are you doing th

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A man is bedridden in hospital...

He was involved in a car accident and broke his leg quite badly, stuck there for several weeks.

There is only one other man in his bay, a very old Tibetan man, on an oxygen tube, only fluids no solid food, very sick indeed. The man could only speak sparely and knew no words of English, but despite that the two bonded.

By the time his leg was healed enough to allow him to

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Two Policemen with a Dog are standing outside of a Pub.

A drunk guy comes out of the pub, lifts the dogs tail and looks at it. Than he just shakes his head and leaves.
After a few minutes another guy comes out and does the same thing.
The Policemen just wonder and say nothing.
When a third guy looks at the dog in this way, they stop him and ask what he is doing.
The drunk guy just says: "Sorry, but I had to look for myself.

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There should be a subreddit specifically for internet humor that gets lost in translation when you explain it in real life...

...and it should be called r/SlashAreSlash.