I was shopping for a new bathroom this week, and was shown an amazing toilet that plays ABBA songs when you flush it.
What a loo.
I went to a Abba themed bar last night
The toilet was like a maze
What a loo couldn't escape if I wanted to
At an ABBA festival, a fan went to the toilet amp got stuck inside. When asked if she was okay she replied...
Portaloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to
I just bought an ABBA toilet.
What a loo!
What do you called an igloo without a toilet?
What did the Australian toilet say?
A man put his erect penis through the glory hole in my toilet cubicle.
How is a warm toilet seat just like a blond?
It feels really good, but you know somebody was just there before you.
Me and my friend were stoned, he went to the toilet and I asked him what he done. He responded....
Who enlightened the toilet?
Was bored shopping with my girlfriend
Went into the changing room and after 5 minutes yelled that there is no toilet paper in here.
Why did the shit stain leave the toilet bowl?
It got pissed off.
Ive never nuked a hurricane before...
...but I have nuked a toilet at a BP gas station.
Toilet is blue
Orange is pink
Every time that I trie explain my mom that Minecraft is my life
"Don't talk me this shit".
What did the blind janitor say after cleaning a toilet?
Cashier: need your receipt?
Me: no thankyou, I don't need toilet paper.
Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up?
Why was the bathroom play set considered dangerous?
Because the toilet things on fire.
The Netherlands has the highest number of toilet plungers per capita
Because their toilets are always getting clogged
You know I was called I perv once,
that was probably the weirdest conversation I've ever had in toilet cubical.
An elderly couple is walking along when a pigeon flies over and drops one right on the old ladys head.
Why did the fly leave the toilet seat?
Because he he got pissed off!
I bought a toilet brush yesterday
But I gotta say I still prefer toilet paper.
What do you say to a toilet on its birthday?
Be careful with NASAs toilet paper...
It will leave rings on your anus.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Statistics show that every 8seconds a mobile is dropped in the toilet
An Elderly Couple . . .
I thought I'd find my inner self with meditation
When all I needed was 1 ply toilet paper.
So this guy goes to the doctor...
If a company's most valuable resource is it's people....
.... how come the employees aren't locked up,
but the toilet paper is secured in a reinforced steel lock box, bolted to the stall?
What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
They both boldly go where no man has gone before, searching around Uranus for Klingons.
I tried to become a mime.
I was really passionate about the idea of becoming a mime, so I decided to live life with out speaking or props. I drove my mimed car, ate my mimed food, and raised my mimed kids but everything when to shit when I wiped with my mimed toilet paper.
I just saw the Pope sitting on the toilet.
There was two pubes on a toilet seat
One got pissed off
What's common between an indian asking "should i shit in the toilet" and a european saying "should i go and shoot up the school" (uptoot and give me gold too)
nun of them have the equipment lol
My three year old daughter asked me, Where does poo come from?
I was a little uncomfortable but decided to give her an honest explanation. So I said, "You just ate breakfast, yes?"
"Yes." she replied.
"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."
She looked a l
Ive started a business selling toilet paper and its going really well.
I think my bathroom might be traumatized....
What does Rambo do in a public toilet?
He goes into stall one.
My cat is a weirdo
Not because she keeps me company in the bathroom
But because she like to watch the toilet mess flush and clean water rise again
What do the starship enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus looking for clingons.
What do you call a Spanish toilet
What do you call a communist concentration camp toilet?
My girlfriend clogged the toilet and I had to unclog it
She was wrong, anal is definitely possible.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
My 5 year old son kept peeing on the toilet seat because he wouldn't hold his penis
I told him he had to start holding it and his response was "I can't hold it because it's too big"
So, a bully stuck my head in the toilet today.
Hard as hell too. Couldn't see shit for a week.
Why do policemen especially enjoy pissing on the shit stains in a toilet?
What did captain Kirk leave in the toilet?
A captain's log.