Throne

Jokes

A Zulu chief visits Buckingham Palace

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One day, God was sitting on his throne.

Hanging out in Heaven, it was a good life. Nothing much going on except watching all the little people down below do their thing. It wasn't too exciting that day, but the Romans were definitely up to something.

Suddenly, a woman burst through the gates and walked right up to him, pointing her finger toward his throne. God sighed.

"I was just about to get great


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What do you call a king's rabbit?

The HARE to the throne

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Warning: political AOC joke

I was driving by Ascencion Church as some news station was talking about AOC.

I wonder if she'll ascend to our leather throne of the United States Corporatocracy of Nike. 🤣

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Game of Throne Characters in American Sign Language

😃

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[https://www.instagram.com/p/BxsWxHxhqRA/?fbclid=IwAR0MP6acz4X1EhFSX78ibYksLMGhxFbhhYng-30btjSyAr-pN3aWeorWqGw](https://www.instagram.com/p/BxsWxHxhqRA/?fbclid=IwAR0MP6acz4X1EhFSX78ibYksLMGhxFbhhYng-30btjSyAr-pN3aWeorWqGw)

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A village chief and his family.

There was a small village where everyone lived in grass huts.

In the middle of the village stood the biggest hut which belonged to the village chief and his family.

During the day, the chief sat in his throne which took up most of the space in his family's hut.

At night, the chief would secure the throne to the roof of the hut so that he and his famil


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Once upon a time there lived a king of an ancient African tribe.

In this tribe everyone lives in huts made of dirt and grass. Everyone living in the tribe had huts that were only one story high, since no one had the means to build beyond that.

The king, however, being a wealthy and loved ruler, had a hut that was a magnificent two stories high.

Every year on his name day the king would decide that he wanted a new throne and demanded al


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His Royalty, Duke Tyuratam the First is nowhere to be found.

His Royalty, Duke Tyuratam the First is nowhere to be found. Servants and courtiers alike are scuttling in and out the throne room trying and failing to mask their angst. Perhaps he should do the same, it's his first and primary job afterall, being the Guardian. He supressed the urge and just stood there, left of the dais. Guarding no one. It's times like these that Dain is left wonderi


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Today a gy told me "you are going to hell for being gay, they have a spot reserved just for you"

Umm yeah bitch it's called the throne

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Why did Drogon destroy the Iron Throne?

It was pointless.

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Time to invest! Iron is becoming scarce.

First Iron Man and then the Iron Throne? There can't be much iron left.

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Fittingly, the only one to not be surprised who sat on the throne.

Was >!Bran!<

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Spoiler Game of Thrones spoiler ahead

It's too bad that the Iron Throne was destroyed.

Good thing the new king comes with his own chair.

​

But honestly, the real joke is thinking anyone will look at this joke with a title like that.

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One day a group of Pacific Islanders desired to build a throne for their king.

One day a group of Pacific Islanders from the island Tobi decided to build a throne for their chief. It was carved from the local volcanic stone and sat in the center of the village up on a platform so the chief could look down upon his beloved subjects.
The village one island over in Palau looked at the throne with jealousy. They hatched a plan and in the middle of the night they sailed to


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What do I usually say when people ask me who I think will sit on the Iron Throne?

It Varys

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I sincerely hope for Daenerys that Jon Snow isn't the one to sit on the Iron Throne...

After all she's seen and done, from Meereen to Astapor and across the narrow sea, losing the Throne to Jon is really going to leave her with Aegon her face.

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Where does the turkish king sit?

On the Ayran Throne

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Ladder to Success

A man falls asleep one night with depressing thoughts of his failures in life; never has he been able to provide for his family what he wants them to have. He wakes up the next morning on the floor of a room with only a white painted ceiling and floor. No walls. Just clouds as far as he can see. In the middle of the room, there is a ladder with a sign next to it that says, "Climb this ladder


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I feel bad for Queen in one thing

She can't even go to bathroom alone. There are always people in line for throne.

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There's a special place in hell for people like me

It's called 'The Throne'.

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In the mythical kingdoms of ancient India, lived the king Ramuk.

He had a courageous son by the name Tipar. Trained in the arts of war and statehood, Prince Tapir was ever eager to take his chance at the throne.

As age got the better of the king, he decided to crown the Prince and move on to a peaceful life of wine and women.

But before he could hand over the throne,the King had only one request of his son. He asked the Prince, "T


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There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy.

   Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.
Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines.
After much consideration, the elders suggested he bu


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Everyone was devastated after finding Elvis dead on his toilet

But every King deserves a throne

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Once there was a joke contest on the jungle

And every animal was invited to participate, the only objective was to make the turtle, King of the jungle, laugh. Whoever did that takes the throne but if the king didn't laugh, they got executed.

So first came the lion to take his throne and told the most elaborate and funny joke he could think of, everyone laughed... Except for the King who didn't even flinch, so the guar


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A joke I made in class

A king is at his throne with a bottle. He opens the bottle then quickly closes it and heads out of the castle. He searches for a museum and travels far and wide until he sees one.

He approaches the museum director and says

King: I’ve got something you should put in this museum

Director: My lord, what do you think should be in the museum?


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Where did the king of rock and roll die?

On the porcelain throne.

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Whats the difference between a prince and a booger?

A prince is the heir the throne, a booger is thrown to the air.

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You know, if all little girls got what they want,

The British throne would be up for a LOT of contention

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Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?

He excelled in throne weapons

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Why you should always listen to an engineer (x-post from rfeghoot)

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Once upon a time, on the tropical island of Adiaster, a primitive tribe lived in a village of grass huts. There were no rival tribes on the island, no natural disasters to speak of, and no huge monsters that might emerge from the jungle in a primal rage to destroy the village. In general, life was good.

And life was about to get better! For on this partic


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Stay humble my friend

There once was a man who that grew up humbly, on an island. As he aged, he remained in the same grass hut he built in his youth. He expanded his home through the years, but lived humbly. He only had one vice. He liked purchasing items that belonged to royalty, in particular, thrones. He purchased so many, that he was only able to display his favorites, and stored the rest in an overhead room h


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A man visits a chicken farm.

A man visits a chicken farm to buy some eggs. He knocks on the farmhouse door, the farmer opens it and invites him in. After picking out a box of a dozen eggs, the man caught a glimpse of a golden shine coming through a slightly opened door to his left. The man asks the farmer about the light and is taken aback when the farmer hurries over to the door and closes it. The farmer then says quickly th


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The king

Once there was a great tribal king. Fearlessly, he led his troops into battle. He settled disputes fairly, and ruled with grace and compassion. And he lived a humble life. No palaces for this king; he lived in a straw hut just like the rest of his subjects, and shared out the tribes resources so that no-one went hungry.

He was, unsurprisingly, loved by his tribe, and with the twenti


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There was once an ambitious prince...

Born the youngest out of 4 brothers.

There was a heated discussion when all four princes were at an appropriate age for being candidates to the throne. But alas, how unfair fate is as our little prince was bested by his brothers.

At an early age he found himself planting seeds of envy as he spectates his older siblings growing closer to their father, or more precisely clo


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Critics are comparing Aquaman to Black Panther

At first glance, the movies do appear similar. They both feature ancient sci-fi utopias hidden from the rest of the world. In each movie, theres a fight for the throne in order to stop a war. However, they are ignoring one major difference: the characters in Aquaman can swim.

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There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy.

Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.

Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines.

After much consideration, the elders suggested he b


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Bathroom Poetry

This little throne I call my own

I aim to keep it neat

So drain your soul, pee down the hole

And not upon the seat

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There was a Zulu king, and he received a new throne

It was a gift from the British, so he felt he had to have it in his hall. Therefore he put his old thrown, heavy with gold inlays, upstairs in his house. Now this king would hold court every day, and all went well for a while, but one day, all of a sudden, the throne that he had stored upstairs broke through the ceiling and crushed him to death.

And all this goes to show... People in


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King Midas gave up his throne to become a standup comedian

Everyone told him his jokes were fucking gold

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The king abdicated the throne, but he would like to rule sometime later...

So he took a reign check

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Centuries ago, a young Japanese pretender to the throne had sex with the emperor queen.

It was barely regal.

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So I finally got a tinder match yesterday...

And immediately I started of by asking "So have you heard of the titanic?"

She immediately got pissed and blocked me. I guess in retrospect, I shouldn't have started off with that line.

Its not a very good icebreaker.


P.s - I just thought of this while taking a shit on the porcelain throne. Can someone tell me if this is an original joke


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How does a queen get around her kingdom?

She gets throne.

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What does the British monarch do on the throne?

The Royal Wee.

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The three word conversation

So the aim of this is essentially each use has three words, which he/she must add to the thread so that it follows a coherent sentence.

Eg:

User 1: Once upon a
User 2: throne sat a
User 3: man reading a
User 4: newspaper. He thought

If this has been done before, apologies. But lets see if we can get it going again. Reply as a comment to t


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A village of glass houses...

There once was a village in the middle of a vast open field. The village had survived for centuries based on their tradition and culture. This consisted of specific dances and celebrations, body paint, and the most noticeable and apparent: the use of glass buildings and structures. The people who lived in the village believed in complete and utter honesty. Therefore, telling a lie was punishable b


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What do you call balls on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call balls on a chest? Chestnuts. What do you call balls on a chin?

My throne

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Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

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Who is the heir to the throne in LOTR

Argon

(made this myself in class while discussing the proper pronunciation of heir)

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What's the difference between a prince and a football?

One's heir to the throne, the other's thrown to the air.

(ba dum tss)

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