Terror

Jokes

We should have started the war on terror in our own country because of the overpopulation of...

Haunted houses

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The simple difference between programming and terror is

that programmers need to excel at whiteboarding to get an access to the employers Github.
Terrorists get to Gitmo regardless of their waterboarding skills.

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Tried to get video of Chuck Norris kicking a cap off a bottle.

But the cap fled in terror before it happened.

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In my opinion if youre going to fight the war on terror a good place to start

is this nations haunted houses

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British Soldiers in WW2 are Looking for German Spies in London.

Near Downing Street they stop a beautiful tall blonde women, carrying a large Bottle labeled "D2O" and ask her:

"Terribly Sorry to bother you my Dear, but we are looking for German Spies. Have you seen any?"

The Womens expression changed displaying the tell tell signs of Terror and Fear.

She answered: "uhm....Nein?"


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A British Soldiers in WW2 are looking for German Spies in London.

Near Downing Street they stop a beautiful tall blonde women, carrying a large Bottle labeled "D2O" and ask her:

"Terribly Sorry to bother you my Dear, but we are looking for German Spies. Have you seen any?"

The Womens expression changed displaying the tell tell signs of Terror and Fear.

She answered: "uhm....Nein?"


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What do you call a scared dessert?

Terror-misu

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa.

not screaming in terror like the rest of the people in the car.

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I wanna die in my sleep, like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror, like the passengers in his car.

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A blonde lady is riding a horse. When the horse is at full gallop she starts to slip off, she holds on for dear life but is slipping off lower and lower. The horse shows no sign of slowing as the lady is nearly at the ground, she begins to scream in panic and terror...

In the nick of time the Walmart greeter comes over and unplugs it.

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Any jokes that make you repulse in terror?

Soz if this doesn't belong here. But does anyone have any jokes that are meant to entice terror rather than laughs? I'm looking for something like a Joker joke I suppose.

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What's the only silver lining of the New Zealand terror attack?

New Zealand is back on the map again.

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When I die, I want to go like my grandma and just kind of peacefully drift away...

not screaming in terror, like the people in her carpool.

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep.

Not screaming in terror, like the passengers in his car.

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The Poor Snake Named Nate

So... Nate the Snake was the king of the jungle, by virtue of his
immense size. Nate was the size of a freight train, and had a similar outlook on life. He ruled largely through terror and intimidation.


One day Nate the Snake was rumbling through the jungle, as was his own. Whenever Nate slithered, the earth shook, trees fell, and birds plummeted from the sky. Nate


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I'd like to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandpa.

Not in pain and screaming in terror, like the passengers on the bus he was driving.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did

..not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep.

Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

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Whats a suicide bombers favourite dinosaur?

A Terror-dactyl

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Apparently bin ladens wife was terrible at hand jobs...

They called her the terror-wrist

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What do you call dangerous precipitation?

A rain of terror

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What do you call dangerous precipitation?

A rain of terror.

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When I die, I want to go peaceful in my sleep like my grandpa.

Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror, like the passengers in his car.

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The death of Grandpa

When I die, I hope I go like my grandfather, quietly in his sleep.

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Not screaming in terror like everyone else in the car.

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In my opinion, if we're going to fight a war on terror

A good place to start would be this nation's haunted houses

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If the war on terror were a TV show what would you call 911?

The pilot episode.

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What's the difference between the Teamsters and the NRA?

One's a bunch of truckers promoting fairer conditions; the other's a group of fuckers promoting terror conditions.

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How much space did the vampire want for his dropbox account?

One Terror-byte.


Why?


To store all the videos he ripped off of Bleddit & BloodTube.

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My grandfather was lucky, he died peacefully in his sleep

Unofortunately the passengers on his bus died screaming in terror

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I'd rather die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa

Than screaming in terror like the passangers of the bus he was driving.

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I rather die peacefully in my sleep like my grandma

Than screaming in terror like the passangers of the bus he was driving.

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When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did.

Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

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At what frequency is horror painful?

1 terror-hurts

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When I die Id like to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather

Not screaming and in terror, like the passengers on his bus.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did.

Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

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A man awakes to find himself in hospital, and soon begins yelling in terror, Oh my god, whats happening? I cant feel my legs!

The doctor walks in, very solemn, and says, “Yes Mr. Johnson, I’m sorry, we had to amputate your arms.”

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When I die, I hope it is like my grandfather, peacefully and in my sleep

... not screaming in terror like his passengers.

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I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather

Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

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There was a terror attack at the recording of the big bang theory last week.

Some one had released nerve gas in to the studio, at first everyone thought it was a prank when Leonard and Sheldon fell down....... but then the Penny dropped

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa.

Not screaming in terror, like the people on the back of his pick-up.

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I was walking on a side street deep in to the night when I heard shouting and what distinctly resembled a scream of terror so I quickly raced to the source of it. I saw four young men beating up a little boy so I stepped in

I knew he couldn’t take on the five of us.

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I want to die peacefully in sleep like my grandpa

not screaming in terror like the people in his car

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A British noble decides to visit France during the Reign of Terror...

[deleted]

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If America really wants to fight the war on terror...

[deleted]

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I would prefer to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandma,

not screaming in terror like her passengers.

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What did the gang of scary giraffes call themselves?

The tower of terror

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My ex should be considered a terror sympathizer

because the number of foriegn dudes that have exploded in her is suspicious

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Top Joke in Scotland

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

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