Term

Jokes

Have you guys ever heard the term "ignorance is bliss?

You know when I was younger i had no idea what it meant...and frankly those were the happiest days of my life.

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Long term relationships

What's the difference between your job and your wife?

After ten years, your job still sucks.

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Today in the Gulf Stream, two dolphins were caught cheating on their significant others, and in the East Australian, a humpback whale gave the term new meaning when he was found in the fins of another beluga.

I like to stay on top of current affairs.

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I asked the doctor what my life expectancy was.

He said, "Financial troubles leading into a long-term bout of depression before an inevitable death."

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To make extra cash, my professor forces all his students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.

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Roses are red, my name's Ned

I have short-term memory loss

Roses are red

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Did you hear? The Washington Redskins have to change their name

the term Washington is too offensive.

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Why wont the Republicans impeach Trump?

Because they insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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I once got slapped for calling two women hipsters.

I guess the politically correct term is combined twins.

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An extremely sheltered mother and son moved to a suburban neighborhood in L.A...

...from an *extremely* Christian gated community. She worked from home making just enough to get by, so she didn't have to find a new job. She decides to send her little 6 year old boy to a public school to save some money. Over the years that little boy learned a few new words and phrases and was smart enough to not say it around his mom. About 10 years later, he is 16 years old and hasn


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So my brother's girlfriend was recently diagnosed with cancer, and when she told him, he proposed to her on the spot!

So see ladies, we guys can be spontaneous and romantic. We just don't like long term commitments.

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I asked the doctor what my life expectancy was.

He said, "Financial troubles, leading into a long-term bout of depression before an inevitable death."

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What do Trump's mother and his supporters have in common?

Neither of them should have carried him past a full term.

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My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole.

That sentence was way too long.

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Why do stormtroopers stay in long term relationships?

Because they cant hit it and quit it.

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Hips don't lie.

Some woman went completely batshit on me in town today. All I said was that her kid was a 'right little hipster'. Apparently, the correct term is 'Conjoined twins'.

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Please stop using the R word...

The proper term is Marine Infantryman.

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Why will the Congress never impeach trump?

Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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Apparently I angered Two people Today by calling them "Hipsters"

Although I think the correct term is "conjoined twins"

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Today I angered two people by calling them "hipsters"

Apparently, the correct term is "conjoined twins"

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Why was the term "YOLO" banned?

It was determined to be too offensive to hindus

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Why won't the Republicans impeach Trump?

Because they insist on carrying a baby to full term

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Why wont Trump be subject to impeachment?

Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!

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I didnt know it was offensive to call people hipsters

Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.

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It's insensitive to call disabled twins "handicapped"

The correct term is "impaired".

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I don't like the term Fake News.

The only people using it are lying.

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What do you call 3 people with short term memory loss?

A trifect-uhh

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If concussions can cause short-term memory loss...

what can concussions cause?

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So retarded is not the correct thing to say...

Repelled is the grammatically correct term.

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Why use the term Iron man?

Why not Fe-Male?

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I was talking to a couple of 20 year olds

I was talking to couple of 20 year olds the other day and called them "hipsters." They got pretty upset.
Apparently, the correct term is conjoined twins.

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Is kidnapping legal?

Me: kidnapping I prefer the term surprise adoption
Police: what crack are you on

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What is the Latin term for a vegan?

Houmous Sapian

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This 4th of July please remember it's not "firecracker"

This Independence Day, please remember it's not "firecracker," that term is very offensive to some people. It's "fire-caucasian." Thank you.

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Whats another term for love with no boundaries?

Incest.

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Want to hear a joke about short term memory loss?

Want to hear a joke about short term memory loss?

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If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss

what does smoking marijuana do?

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Why did the man get a 5 year jail term and 2000$ fine?

Because he killed two endangered birds with one stone

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How can you tell if someone has short term memory loss?

How can you tell if someone has short term memory loss?

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I find the term rapist offensive

I prefer to be called the Womb Raider

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Love child is the modern term for a Bastard.


Love Island must be the collective term.

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I once knew a guy arrested on drug charges, and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole.

That sentence was way too long.

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Im only funny cause i be actin like i got short term memory loss but really i be having short term memory loss

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Why can't dementors hold down long-term relationships?

They never get past the first kiss.

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My friend just used the term "on-fleek" in a sentence.

I had a hard time powering through the rest of our friendship.

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Heroin can cause short term or long term memory loss

So, did you take the heroin last week?

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What is the scientific term for impotence in lizards?

Reptile dysfunction.

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Donald Trump is a two-term president.

The terms are "asshole" and "liar."

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Teacher: Do you have long term or short term memory loss?

I can't remember

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Pissed off 2 people today by calling them Hipsters.

Apparently, the correct term is conjoined twins.

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