Talented

Jokes

While walking my Grandmas dog, who is particularly talented at pooping despite his tiny size, I saw a Trump 2020 sign

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What do you call a talented British fruit?

John Lemon.

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A very talented and successful musician is on his death bed and about to die so he calls in his local radio station and makes a touching last minute request

They reply "Don't go anywhere because we'll be right back after these messages from our sponsors"

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I joining the local organization for talented, high IQ Jews

Mensch-A

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You need to be extremely talented when you are the cameraman for porno.

It must be hard to film with only one hand.

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What did Elton John call the talented Chinese chef?

Wok-it man.

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If opposites actually do attract...

then I'd be dating a beautiful, smart, talented, funny person by now.

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Spiders should own the internet

After all, they are very talented in web design.

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What do you call A talented shark?

An a-fish-ionado

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What do you call a group of musically talented whales?

An orca-stra

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Daddy, why are you so fat?

“Well, honey, being smart, handsome, rich, talented, AND thin just wouldn’t be fair, now would it?”

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A bus full of cheerleaders went off a cliff

Miraculously, all twenty of them managed to grab onto the same branch sticking out of the cliffside. There were nineteen beautiful blondes and one brunette. The brunette saw the branch was starting to break, so she made a decision.

"Listen ladies," she said. "As skinny as we are, this branch can't hold all our weight. You're all so beautiful and talented, so I


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A talented boy.

A talnted boy draw a pussy on the stove...

His brothers hand was burned

And his fathers cock

And his grandfathers tongue.

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I am so talented that I can close my eyes and type this

Bdndjfkdhshdjfkfbshcjskahwjwwksndhcjdksbahxdkjbd

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My grandfather was a very talented blacksmith

He could do all swords of things

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Did you hear about the talented fat guy?

He was a very well-rounded person

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Talented back kric ruuuuuner diabolic

Did hoisting work?+ha+

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I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican

I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican who, after years of auditions for various instruments, got a gig in the local orchestra playing the triangle- not his first choice. One day he came in super stressed looking.

I said “What’s up...can't handle the pressure of performing on stage?”

He says, "You have no idea mon, I be responsi


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What do you call an exceptionally talented puppy?

A *prodoggy.*

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I dont know who that Rorschach guy is

But he’s incredibly talented at drawing my mother beating the shit out of me

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In what region do the most talented cat owners live?

The Catskills

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I'm so sick of these talented wrestlers getting buried...

Connor The Crusher had so much potential.

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A man loved to tie knots

It was his favorite hobby. He spent all of his time tying knots in string and rope, and inventing new, stronger, or more interesting ways to tie knots. He tried to show his ropes and strings to his friends but nobody cared. He wasn't very talented at anything else, because he had spent his entire life tying knots. Everyone was disapointed in him, and he got depressed. He was depressed for mon


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Now that Brazil is out of the World Cup they should go help the Thai kids stuck in that cave...

After all they're the world's most talented divers.

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Neymar is the Justin Bieber of Football

Talented, good-looking and an absolute diva

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Why did Iron Man go to a magnet school?

I don't know, he must be exceptionality talented in arts or something...

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A drunk, a jew, a banker, a lawyer, a psychopath, a father, a mother, an ex convict, a runner, an artist, a sous chef, and a Wal-Mart employee walk in to a bar.

The hardworking talented yet troubled transgender orders a beer.

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People always ask me where I had my plastic surgery done, but they never believe me when I say Spain.

They have really talented surgeons there.

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What do you call an elephant that can climb a tree?

Talented

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A talented unemployed singer is like communism

Sounds good, doesn't work.

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I just got a ladder in my tights.

I truly am a talented shoplifter

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A talented designer just left Victoria's Secret

This will have a lingerieing impact on their stripped resources

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Its terrible how so few black people get nominated for an Oscar

It's so sad they're not as talented as white people.

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John Wilkes Booth wasn't a talented actor

but he got booked a lot based on the strength of his headshot.

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If I won $900,000,000, I'd give a quarter of it to Charity...

She's a talented dancer and says she needs money for school.

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Why are all painters talented?

It comes to them easel-y.

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I hate when people say Metallica became a bunch of no-talented sellouts after Cliff Burton died.

[deleted]

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A talented artist sculpts a dog out of melons.

After it looks perfect, he takes a picture of it, then starts eating it. He is suddenly very sad.

He was full of *melon-collie*.

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Virginian camermen are so talented

[deleted]

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Bernie Sanders Draws 28,000 in Portland Rally

I never would have guessed he was such a talented and quick artist.

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WARNING ! ! ! This is a VIRUS . . . When you turn your phone off it WONT WORK AGAIN.. U are a BITCH Beautiful Intelligent Talented Cute Hilarious r u smiling now? ? ? ? YOU ARE REALLY BITCH

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Went out shopping with a friend yesterday and she got a ladder in her tights.

Most talented shoplifter I've ever seen

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A drunk, a jew, a banker, a lawyer, a psychopath, a father, a mother, an ex convict, a runner, an artist, a sous chef, and a Wal-Mart employee walk in to a bar.

The hardworking talented yet troubled transgender orders a beer.

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Hot Rod

A very talented prison tattoo artist was working on a mans arm doing a very intricate flame sleeve when a man walked up to him...

He waited for him to finish the tattoo and said, "Damn that shit was tight. Give me one bro"

The artist replied, "sure, what do you want?"

"I want Hot Rod tattoo with flames"

"Okay,


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Talented Octopus

A man walks into a bar with and octopus under his arms. He then stands up on the bar and shouts for everyone inside to hear. "I will bet anyone here 200 dollars that this octopus can play any instrument you give it". Everyone is a buzz and the bartender hands him a guitar that was hanging on the wall. The Octopus takes the guitar and strums on it with great enthusiasm and plays a beautif


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I come from a very talented family. My father just finished his first novel.

And he's about to start reading another one.

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She told me I was a talented lover

I told her I studied a broad.

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Why hasn't Stevie Wonder composed a hit in years?

He dropped his pencil.




(I am a huge fan of Stevie Wonder and in my opinion the guy is one of the most talented musicians in the pop/jazz/funk World. So before the shower of downvotes take a second and remember you're on a 'joke' subreddit.)

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Request Can I have a joke about early 20th century writing, poetry, or T.S. Eliot?

Not a joke...just a request to the more talented. Thanks in advance!

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A talented but unemployed jazz pianist.

A talented but unemployed jazz pianist/composer was walking down Second Avenue in New York contemplating his sad life when he sees a sign in a restaurant window that says "Jazz pianist wanted, full time position." Elated at his good fortune he goes inside to apply for the job.

He meets the manager, who takes him to an out-of-the way corner where there is a freshly tuned, gle


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