Surf

Jokes

Yo momma so dumb

she tried to surf the microwave

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My friend is an epileptic

We went to a tool concert and low and behold he starts seizing so I raise my hands to get some attention, I lift his body but people started to lift him and make him crowd surf. I lost him in the crowd and found him dead all while being the life of the party.

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Why do the dwarfs surf at the kitchen?

Because there are microwaves

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A blonde stood on the streets of new york city with a surf board...

She just wanted to catch the highest of the heat waves!

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Why do dwarfs surf in the kitchen

Because there are microwaves

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Why does an idiot throw water over his computer

So he can surf the internet

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Why does a blonde pour water into the computer?

Because she wants to "surf" on the Internet.

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What do you call the Chinese equivalent of a surf and turf?

Bawk and bark.

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What do you call the Chinese equivalent of a surf and turf?

Bawk and bark.

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What do you call surf amp turf without the turf?

A missed-steak.

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I visited my grandfather at the hospital

While I was waiting I was using my phone to surf reddit.

When I got in my grandfather said I use technology too much

So I unplugged his life support and now here I am back on reddit

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Why couldn't the surf shop afford to stay open?

It was double overhead!

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How do you describe an ISIS member who likes to surf?

Radical, dude.

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I've been bullying the IT guy helping me surf the deep web

I'm a Tor-mentor tormentor.

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Where should ypu hide from someone named charles?

The water, charlie don't surf

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LPT: Need to know what someone is getting your for Christmas? Hang around while they surf Facebook and take note of the ads that display. They will reveal all.

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How do cats surf the internet?

they click on hypuuuurlynx!

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TheTrucker

A trucker goes into a whorehouse and hands the Madam five hundred dollars. He says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich."
The Madam says, "For that kind of money, you could have one of my finest girls and surf and turf."


The trucker replies, "I'm not horny, I'm homesick."


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Why do you want divorce?

Judge: Why do you want divorce?

Petitioner: My wife asks me to peel off garlic, cut onions, wash utensils.

Judge: What's the problem in this? Just warm up the Garlic, it will be easy to peel it. Before cutting Onions just chill them in the refrigerator and then while cutting them the eyes won't burn. Before washing utensils just immerse them in water tub for 10


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Why can't Gannon surf the internet?

You ever seen a computer in Hyrule?

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What do you get when you combine Mr Clean with a 60's surf band?

The Bleach Boys

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Does Charlie surf?

No, Charlie don't surf.

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A young man was walking along one of Southern California's sandy beaches with his surf board.

He suddenly spots this bottle which has recently washed up on the beach. It's apparent that it's been tossed around for while. Noticing its cork is still intact, he becomes intensely curious about what's inside. He wrestles with the cork for a solid minute and, after yanking it out of the bottle, a genie pops out.

After expressing profound appreciation for having been l


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What do you call a girl that loves to surf?

Waverley

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What does a Hawaiian Spider do in his free time?

Surf the Web.

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Weekend Jokes P

What's life ?
Weekdays : Ms Excel
Weekend : Surf Excel
😁😂

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On vacation in Hawaii, a father is learning to surf with his son

\*gurgle\* Hey, Dad! \*gurgle\* Why are you standing on me?

Hey, Son! I thought you said you were a little board?

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What did the TV do at the beach?

Channel surf

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What did the TV do at the beach?

Channel surf!

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It's been decided that Prince Harry's father will give Meghan Markle away at the Royal Wedding

Turns out the list of suspects is so long that she's going to crowd surf on them all the way from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Abbey

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How do redditors surf the web for the best content?

On their key𝘉𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘥

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How do you surf on a storm?

You ride the lightning.

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What do you get when a cow bangs a lobster?

Surf-n-turf

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Why don't Mexicans surf?

[deleted]

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My psychologist just reddit-punned me

We were talking about school, and I mentioned the fact that I rarely pay attention in class and that I instead just surf the web or watch Netflix.

Him: "So, what sites do you surf the most?"
Me: "Well, there's this site called Reddit.."


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I always like to have snacks while I surf porn.

That way, I'm packing on the poundage while I'm pounding on the package.

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How do barmen surf the web?

On the Gin-ternet.

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What do you call a Rasta on a surf board?

Bob Gnarly

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Why can't you surf on microwaves?

Because they're too small...

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What's the most popular search engine in Israel?

They surf the Net On Yahoo.

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Why can't feminists surf?

They can't get past the third wave.

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A black man walks into a doctor's office...........

screaming "Doctor, doctor I can't stop jogging on the spot".
So the doctor takes a look at the black man and tells him that he can fix him right up, so he goes into another room and comes back bringing a big bucket of whit powder. He tells the black man to sniff it and he does and immediately he falls to the ground, he gets up after 10 mins and goes "woah doc that nearly


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Why can't you surf on microwaves?

Because they're too small.

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Why couldn't Super Mario surf the web?

Because Browser wouldn't let him.

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A young man walks into a doctors office with an orange penis

He says, “Doc, you gotta help me, my penis is bright orange and I’m afraid of the worst.”

The doctor examines the penis and it is, indeed, bright orange but the doctor can’t make a diagnosis. He spends the next several hours running every relevant test that he can think of.

At the end of this testing ordeal, the doctor is still stymied. He confron


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A ship went down on a reef...

There were only three survivors; a 25 year old man, a dog, and a cat.

They were washed up on a deserted tropical island. Food and water were no problem, but after a month the man started to get the urge to have sex. As there were no other people, he was forced to choose between the dog and the cat. Naturally, he chose the dog - man`s best friend. But the cat had a jealous streak,


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Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen?

Because it has microwaves

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What do frogs say that surf the internet?

Reddit reddit..


First joke i thought of. :)

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What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

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