Stupid

Jokes

Its a long joke but I think its worth it.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Leave the peach cobbler in the kitchen alone, mother would say, going upstairs.

But I couldn’t help myself. I sneaked in and watched him. Watched him make his stupid little peach shoes, taunting.
“Nobody’s going to wear those,” I’d say. “They’re stupid.”

But on he worked.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo mama so stupid, ...

She thinks INSTAGRAM IS BETTER THAN REDDIT.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

3 bears were on plane...

3 bears were on a plane, mummy bear, daddy bear and baby bear.

Suddenly the plane engine stopped so the bears had to jump, unfortunately there were only 2 parachutes which were one person max as they'd have to hold on to the straps.

All 3 bears survived and the next day, there it was on the news "How did baby bear survive?" Baby bear arrived on the show and


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hurricane Dorian.. Jokes for my fianc, Dorian

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I asked my husband if I looked fat

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I threw in the towel because my Fighter was taking too much punishment.

And everyone in the Roman Bath house looked at me stupid.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Your mum is so stupid, when she counts to 60 it takes her 2 minutes.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Im not going to give you the remote, and yeah, I feel pretty confident about that.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hypothetical class situation.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo momma so stupid

She got caught in an air mattress and drowned.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I got a flat tire outside of the Mental Institution.

I wrestled the tire off, but stripped out half of the nuts. "Great! What am I gonna do now?", I spit, angrily.

"Put one on every other lug, then drive cautiously to a place you can get some more." A patient was looking over the wall.

"How'd you know that?", I asked.

"I'm crazy, not stupid."


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If you vaccinate your children, you're stupid.

Let a doctor do it, hes a professional.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

You think they'd be grateful at the blood donor clinic.

Not harass me with stupid questions like, "Where did this blood come from."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I hate people who constantly yell at me for stupid reasons.

Like: "Billy, you're so stupid."

"Billy, why do you always mess up?"

"Billy, where's our son?"

Such stupid reasons...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Stupid trees

They're all bark and no bite

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To prove how stupid and egotistical writing a book is. I wrote a 4 page book in Kindergarten...

Dan.

Dan ran.

Dan ran to the cat.

Dan ran to the cat to pet the cat.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If Christopher Columbus had had a wife, he would have had to hear: - Part I

- That you're going where?

- To find out what?

- And why do you have to go?

- You're an asshole... Or what!

- And why don't they send someone else?

- You see everything round!

- Are you crazy or are you an idiot?

- You don't even know my family and you want to discover the new world!


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife persuaded me to watch Fast amp Furious at the movies.

"Not all fans of the franchise are as stupid as you think," she said.

"But honey," I replied. "This one's eating my popcorn."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

GF: I hate these stupid bugs. Theyre so annoying.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why is mumble rap a thing?

Because they don't want you to hear how stupid the lyrics are.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why are the bakers kids stupid?

Because they are in bread!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife: Why dont you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My stupid alarm clock broke last night.

I woke up and it said "404".

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Imagine living as islamophobe in muslim country

You keep losing your head over something stupid.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do Americans have so much faith in God?

Because they are stupid and backwards!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I gotta see the tacos first.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why didnt the skeleton go to the party?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A comedian tells a joke about the dog who went to the bar.

One person in the audience shouts out "Why would a dog go to a bar. He can't drink? Are you stupid?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

There was a guy named Nobody, a guy named Mark and a girl named Stupid.

Stupid and Mark were dating. Nobody fell from the window while cleaning it so Mark called 911 and said: "Nobody fell out of the window!".

Operator: "Are you fucking Stupid?".

Mark: "No I fucked her yesterday".

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Studies show that 10 percent of Redditors are stupid.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Reasons why Video Games cause Mass Shootings and Violence within the U.S.

absolutely none u stupid liberal

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was out doing some errands today and somebody asked me Dont you think you should separate colors from whites?

Stupid laundromat employees!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

After landing my new job as a Asda greeter, I lasted less than a day.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If Jesus is the answer....

It's a pretty stupid question.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife told me she was leaving me because she couldnt live with me always making stupid Star Wars puns.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Three men suddenly become aware they are in the set up to a joke. The first man says something clever. The second does something stupid. The third tries to kill Batman.

I guess we know who the real joker is...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yesterday my wife said I must really be fucking stupid for coming home so late

Hey, it's not my fault her sister's an idiot.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why are Americans so stupid?

Because they shoot all the ones that go to school

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo mama so stupid, when border patrol asked for her visa...

She pulled out her credit card.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I Ran Over Ten Miles Today.

Looking back now, Ten Miles was a pretty stupid name for a dog anyway.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the stupid woodworm?

It was found in a brick

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn"

Stupid firemen

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off.

"You're self-employed you stupid bastard," I said.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Ask me a questions and once I've responded, edit that question to a new one to make me look stupid.

I'm having a rough day and I think this could be a fun way to change that!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Alexa, what's the best marvel movie?

\[10 HOURS LATER\]

​

NO YOU'RE STUPID

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

An anti-semite walks into a bar

An anti-semite walks into a bar. He sees a Jew sitting at the table next to him, and he doesn't like it. "Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of good stuff for everyone except the Jew!" Everyone gives a cheer and receives a glass of premium scotch each. The anti-semite looks back at the Jew with a smug grin. The Jew smiles back. The anti-semite scowls an


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I'm breaking up with you

Why?

"Because all you ever talk about is video games"

But babe please, this is such a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two visionaries walk into a bar...

which is stupid 'cause the second one should've seen it.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I think the Area 51 raid is just stupid.

How do we not know the government won't just relocate them aliens before the 20th?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE