Stool

Jokes

A Dung Beetle Walks Into A Bar...

And asked the bar tender, "Is this stool taken?"

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A dung beetle walks into a bar...

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A dung beetle walks into a bar... and asks, Is this stool taken?

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A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks

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A rabbit walks into a bar

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An old woman took her husband to the doctor. The doctor checked the husband's pulse, then told the woman, "I'm sorry, your husband is dead."

The woman was shocked. "I don't believe it. Are you sure? I want to be absolutely sure, are there any other tests you can do?"

The doctor responded, "I'm quite sure, but if you'd like we do have some alternative tests that we can perform."

"YES! I have to be absolutely certain."

The doctor shrugged, sat down on a s


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An old woman took her husband to see the doctor, the doctor checked the husband's pulse and then told the woman, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're husband is dead."

The woman was shocked. "I don't believe it. Are you sure? I want to be absolutely sure, are there any other tests you can do?"

The doctor responded, "I'm quite sure, but if you'd like we do have some alternative tests that we can perform."

"YES! I have to be completely certain."

The doctor shrugged, sat down on a s


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4 girls enter a bar

The first one says my man can fit 1 finger in me. the second one says my man can fit 1 fist in me. The third one says my man can fit two fists in me. The last girl says nothing as she slides over the bar stool.

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Guy walks into a doctor's office...

The doctor says, "In order to get the physical started I'm gonna need a urine sample, a stool sample, a semen sample, and a blood sample." The guy says, "Gee Doc, that sounds like it's gonna take a while. Can I just give you my snuggie instead?"

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A weasel walks into a bar...

He sits down at the nearest stool and waits to be served.

The bartender finishes serving the previous customer and asks the weasel what he'd like to drink.

"Pop" goes the weasel.

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Whats the most common pickup line in a gay bar?

Excuse me, may I push in your stool?

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Why is the priest glad Little Johnny has such short legs?

Because he always ends up asking to have his stool pushed in.

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Where does a stool stay

in the toilet (joke courtesy of my grandmother)

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What does a stool say

im in the toilet ( joke courtesy of my grandmother)

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I went to the doctor last week. He said he needed a urine, stool, and blood sample.

I just gave him my underwear.

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Nurse: "We need a stool sample and a urine sample."

Man to wife: "What did she say?" Wife to husband: "They want your underwear."

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How do you get 4 gay guys to sit on a bar stool?

You flip it upside down.

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A guy is mad.

A guy is mad. His friend asks him "What's wrong?" He says "The furniture lady just hung up on me." "Well why?" His friend asks. "My stool was broken, and I wanted to try one before I bought it." His friend asks "Well what did you say to her?" "Lady, I need one of your stool samples." "Why am your friend?"


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Whats the number one saying in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in?

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A blind man walks into a bar

And a stool, and a chair.

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Although fiber helps pass stool, you need to be careful about the type of fiber you ingest.

From my experience, T-Shirts work well but Jeans are a big no.

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Old guy goes to see his doctor...

He’s a little hard of hearing so brings along his wife to help hear for him.

The nurse says “OK Mr. Jones, I’m gonna need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample.”

“The old guy turns to his wife and asks ‘what did she say?’ ”

“She needs your underwear, darling.”


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I would tell you a joke about stool...

It's pretty crappy though.

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I would tell you a joke a stool...

It's pretty crappy though.

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Do not offer a midget a yo-yo

Unless you also provide a step stool

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A proctologist walks into a bar...

Before he sits down to order a drink, he examines the stool.

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A dung beetle goes into a bar

He pulls up a stool

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What did one fly say to another fly?

Is this stool taken?

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A dung beetle walks into a bar

And asks, "is this stool taken?"

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I had to provide a stool sample to my doctor the other day to check why I havent been feeling good.

The nurse just called me and said they can’t find it. I’m so mad that I totally lost my shit!!

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A blond guy on a bar stool yelled at the bartender: "wanna hear a blonde joke"?

The bartender didn't really listen. He still told one.

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I went to a gay bar yesterday.

They were very friendly. When I was at the bar, one of the gentlemen offered to push my stool in.

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What don't you say in a really really crowded gay bar?

Excuse me sir, mind if I push your stool in further?




*Credit to the random guy nigel in the pub, no idea where the joke actually came from

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I work logistics for a restaurant furniture supply company...

I ship stool samples

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Classic day at the stool sample photo lab.

crapshoot.

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Whats the most common phrase used in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in?

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Why does a cow milking stool only have 3 legs?

Because the cow had the udder.

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3 women are sat at a bar

They're having a conversation about how loose they are

The first says "I could fit a sausage up mine"

The second says "Only a sausage? I could fit a cucumber up there"

The third slides down the bar stool

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A hippopotamus walks into a bar. He buys a drink for the rabbit on the bar stool. She bats her eyes at him. He asks for a dance..

The rabbit says "tango?"

He says "nope.... Lets do Hip Hop!"

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A carpenter goes to the proctologist.

Upon learning what his patient does for a living, he says, "What a coincedence. I'm in need of a new office chair.

Can you make me one?"

The carpenter replies that he can.

The doctor says, "There's only one thing, I want to be able to try it out before I buy it. Can you give me a stool sample?"


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Three women in a bar were comparing how loose they were

The first got off the bar stool and came back with a long carrot "I can fit two of these inside"

The second one stood up the bar stool and asked the bartender for a bottle of wine "I can fit three of these bad boys"

The third one was sitting on the floor

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Gentleman: May I push your stool in?

Woman: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE TOILET!

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A bear walks into a bar...

And sits down on the last stool away from the door, the only available seat.
The bartender eventually works his way down to the bear. "Sorry, it's been a rough day. What'll it be?"
"I'll have a gin and... tonic."
"Why the long face?"
The bear looks confused. "Don't you mean 'Why the big pause?'"
The


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A grasshopper walks into a crowded bar.

He sits down on a stool and orders a glass of beer. The bartender says, “That’s funny. I figured you’d order something different, especially since we’ve got a drink named after you.”

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The grasshopper looks at the bartender baffled and says, “You’ve got a drink named Stan?”


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I can't decide whether to get this broom or large stepping stool.

I think I'm going to have to go with the ladder.

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A doctor tells his patient that he needs blood, urine, stool, and semen samples..

The patient says, well would it be easier if I just left you my underwear?

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I tried to get a Jacobs ladder penile piercing...

Best I could get was a Jacobs Step stool.

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What is the most commonly asked question in a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in"?

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How do you get 3 gay guys on a stool

Turn it upside down

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What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend after getting up to leave the bar?

Can I push your stool in?

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