Spike

Jokes

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

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How does SteveAlex from Minecraft survive a stage spike in Smash Bros?

They Tekkit.

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Never trust a volleyball-playin bartender...

They might spike your drink.

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A Soviet Spy has been captured in Nazi Germany, and is being interrogated by an SS officer.

A Russian-Speaking Ukrainian Kapo was brought in by the SS officer to be an interpretor.

The officer asks the spy,

"Tell us what information you have stolen, who you deliver it to, and where you deliver it!"

The Kapo translates this message, and the Soviet Spy responds,

"The Soviets are unbreakable. You can never make me talk!&quo


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Why'd the cactus rage while gaming?

Because he had a lag spike

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I applied for a job as a psychotherapist, the interviewer asks what are your strong points? I replied.

I am crazy and can spike a woman's drink then shag her.

I am the best psycho rapist there is around...

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Tyler Perry and Spike Lee are eating at a restaurant together. They discuss the movies and politics. They are having a blast together. They finish eating their meals. Mr. Tyler Perry insists that he pays for dinner. Spike says, "Cool", but he does leave the tip.

There is no punchline to this. I'm not a very good at making jokes, so instead I just created a scene. Thanks for reading.

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A police ask a man why he killed a man with a rail way spike.

The man answered
“For a joke.”
The police couldn’t find his real loco Motive

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What do you call a hanging spike of ice that swings for both teams?

A bicicle.

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Why was Spike Lee mad after the Oscars?

Jussie Smollett got the Oscars for writing, producing and directing BlackKlansmen

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Never buy Drugs from a volleyball player

They bump the price up
Set the location
And spike there product

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Every time my missus complains about my lame puns, I spike her food and trigger her food intolerance.

She's gluten for punishment.

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Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?

The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.

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What did Jet say to Spike after he gained some lbs.?

"You're gonna carry that weight."

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Never go on a date with a cactus

They'll spike your drink

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A man is fixing his satellite dish on the roof

His foot slips and he falls back, while he throws the dish backward over his head. He slides down the roof and topples over the rain gutter. However, the dish made it to the ground before him, facing upwards.

He falls directly onto it, the spike puncturing his back and exiting his abdomen. He lets out a big scream. Hearing this, his wife rushes outside. When she sees the gore, she au


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I would never spike a girls drink

I prefer them to struggle when I rape them!

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Tony ambled into a bar

Tony ambled into a bar, and noticed a bucket behind the counter filled to the brim with cash.
"Is there a contest on to win that dough?" Tony asked the bartender.
"Yep," the barkeep responded, "It costs $50 to enter, and then you have to do three things: First you've got to knock out Spike, our 300-pound bouncer. Then we've got a pit bull out b


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A lesbian trucker named Spike

hauled dildos by night down the pike
when asked by the fuzz
what it is that she does
she replies "I'm a fake-dick van dyke"

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I spike my hair up in the shape of bullets.

It's ammohawk

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I spike my hair up in the shape of bullets.

It's ammohawk

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My friend rides a bike with a spike on the seat

It's a vicious cycle.

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What major has seen a spike in popularity at Mexican colleges and universities since Donald Trump accepted the 2016 Republican Presidential candidate nomination?

pre-wall

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Recently, a bunch of people have developed a fetish for letting their romantic partner intentionally spike their drink with roofies.

They call it Cos-play.

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The strongest rooster.

Two roosters named Sam and Spike, argued over who was the strongest rooster in the henhouse. They never agreed. However, they did agree how to decide. They arranged for alle the chickens to stand in a long line, and then Sam and Spike would start to "mate" with the chickens, from each end at the same time. The first rooster to complete all the chickens, is the strongest! So, it starts..


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Spike Milligan: "All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."

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"It's not the principle, it's the money." Spike Milligan RIP

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Emo vs obama

emo has a gun and obama has a ball to wow the crowd with but the ball has a spike on it

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Spike amp The Parrot.

A woman called a dishwasher repairman. Since she had to go to work, she told him she would leave the key under the mat and for him to
leave his bill on the counter and she would send him a check. "Don't worry about my Dobberman Spike. He won't bother you, but, whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances talk to the parrot!"

When the repairman arrived,


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Spike from the Land Before Time movies is the best character ever!

Literally in the first 30 seconds after hatching he yawns, eats an entire bush, and takes a nap, he’s like me on valentines day.

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What's the difference between the Friendzone and the Endzone?

Unlike football, you'll never get to spike it in the Friendzone.

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What do you call the elbow of the guy who directed Malcolm X?

A Spike Lee joint.

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A Texan Is Walking Around Rural Ireland With A Very Aggressive amp Dangerous Looking Pit Bull On A Leash.

He passes a ramshackle farm with an old man standing outside of it leaning on the gatepost & smoking a pipe who is looking very curiously at the pit bull.

Farmer:- "Bejaysus, what kind of dog is that??....NEVER seen one like it before!!"

Texan:- "Well sir, this here is what you call a pit bull terrier one of...if not **the** most aggressive &amp


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"Don't talk to the Bird!"

Jill's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the work top, and I'll send you a check. Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances,talk to my pa


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Which comedian is best taken in small intravenous doses?

Spike Milligram

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