Spear

Jokes

Man has found spear in a desert

And he thinks "Well, I take it, maybe this spear will be useful".

Year later man decided, that spear is not useful at all and he brought spear back to the desert. Suddenly he hears angry trumpet. He turns around and sees enraged elephant. Elephant captures man with its trunk and smashes him to the ground.

It was elephant's spear.


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I told my friend that I went on a trip to Eastern Cape of Africa and this guy hurled a long throwing spear at me.

My friend said "Assagaai!", I said I don't know why you're taking his side.

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How do you kill a ghost using liquor that has been frozen in the shape of an icicle?

Spear it

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A man wakes up after a plane crash

he finds himself on a beach with nothing around but palm trees, sand and the noise of the water hitting the sand bay.

Despite his pain in every single part of his body, he manages to get up and walk along the beach. Some airplane parts are lying around too and slowly the man realises, he must be the only survivor. Suddenly a group of people run out of a little forest near the beach an


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What is black, white, red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.

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What's black and white, red all over, and can't turn around in a hallway?

A nun with a spear through her

(Told this to a nun in highschool during class. She threw a blackboard eraser at me but laughed)

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Death or Gumanji?

There are three men exploring the forest and they come upon a tribe of Pigmys.

They are caught and taken against their will.

The next day the head of the tribe tells them that they are on trial, one each day.

The first day, the man sits in front of the tribe and is asked, "Death, or Gumanji?"

Scared the man chooses Gumanji. The head of


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What does a playwright do when he's done pissing?

Shake spear

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Spear fishing today... gotta get back

to my native roots like Elizabeth Warren (I really am in Wisconsin, also Im german irosh american)

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What is the difference between a feminist, and a spear?

Spears have a point´╗┐.

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Which famous historical person masturbates the most?

Shake spear

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Whats the diference between a feminist and a spear.

The spear has a point

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How did the trident beat the spear?

It had two more points.

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Whats the difference between a feminist and a spear?

A spear has a point

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How do you defeat a ghost?

Spear it

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I went to my car one day to find a spear sticking out of the windshield!

That’s the last time I ask Joss Whedon to wash it for me.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't fit through a revolving door?

a NUN, with a SPEAR through her head.

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I wanted to spread my message of peace and non-violence to the whole wide world.

So I went to a secluded tribe in the Amazon, and their warriors were not at all keen to see me.
One ran up to me with a spear and said “I will stab you if you don’t leave”.
But I stood my ground, grabbed the spear, and told him that “violence is never the answer”.
He looked at me and, sheepishly, admitted, “OK, point taken”.


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My humor is so dark

it runs around with a spear

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After a terrible shipwreck, a man found himself alone on an island. He went about the island in search of food and shelter. After a long walk, the man froze in terror as he saw a tribe of cannibals in the middle of a celebration...

The man thought to himself, "I’m so screwed!" To his surprise, a bright light came from the heavens and a deep voice said to him "Not yet my son, listen very carefully: what you have to do is; run up to the chief of the tribe, kick him in the nuts, and take his spear. As soon as you take his spear, kill his only son with it." Without thinking twice, the man did as he was


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Original version of an old political joke.

Zog, Krunt, Oonda, and a boy of barely initiation age are huddled in a cave. Suddenly a saber tooth tiger appears outside.

There are only three spears.

Zog grabs a spear and proclaims “I am oldest hunter, I must have spear.” He runs out to fight the tiger.

Oonda gets up, and states “Since I am the smartest hunter in all the land, I will h


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What do you call a stripper with a spear?

A pole lancer

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A small plane crashes in the jungle...

After a while the pilot awakes, finding the crashed plane surrounded by fierce looking tribal warriors. Upon seening that he's still alive, the warriors seize him, and bring him to their chieftain. The pilot thinks to himself: "Damned, I'm fucked!"

Suddenly, he hears a heavenly voice: "No, you're not! Run up to the chieftain, grab his spear and stab him r


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Whats black, white, red, and cant turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a spear through her head

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A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are adventuring in the jungles of the rainforest

Upon entering a clearing they are suddenly ambushed by a remote cannabalistic tribe. They are bound, gagged, and marched into the village.

They old tribe shaman emerges from his hut and approaches them slowly. He squares up to the brunette, cuts her bound wrists and says with broken English "we kill you, we skin you, we eat you, we use skin for canoe. Last request?" The bru


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A man is flying a plane over the Amazon, when he suddenly crashes.

But he’s ok, don’t worry. He’s staggering through the jungle when he suddenly realizes he’s surrounded by bloodthirsty savages. And he thinks, “Man, I am totally fucked.”

“No”, a voice booms out from the heavens, “You’re not fucked.”

The voice continues, “Listen to me very carefully. Grab the spear fr


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What do you call a Deer with both eyes missing?

No idea

What do you call a Deer with both eyes missing and no legs?
Still no Idea

What do you call a Deer with both eyes missing, no legs and a spear through its head?
Still no bloody Idea



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What do you call a Jamaican spear wielding man?

Pokey Mon

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Whats the difference between a feminist and a spear?

The spear has a point

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What's a royal guardsman's favorite pancake topping?

Spear-up

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What do you call a spear-fisherman hunting a group of fish?

A school shooter

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No wonder the sword and the spear rules together for so long...

[deleted]

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What's different between Feminist and a spear

[deleted]

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How does a Reaver clean his spear?

He puts it in the Wash´╗┐.

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What is black and white and red all over, and spins in circles?

A nun who has a spear in her, going through a vevolving door.

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What's black, white and red and can't turn around in a telephone box..?

A nun with a spear through her neck

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What's black, white and red, and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a spear through her head.

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What's black and white and can't fit through a door? (x-post rAntiJokes)

A zebra with a spear through its head.

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It's hard to argue with a spear

I mean, it's got a point.

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What do you call a blunt spear?

Piontless!

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How do scientists develop chewing gum flavors?

Through ex-spear-i-mints.

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Not fucked yet.

Once upon a time there was a young man hiking through the woods. As he was gaily skipping through a path he suddenly started to hear footsteps approaching. The footsteps came closer until the trees finally disclosed a group of twenty natives with spears carrying a fat man and his fat kid on a throne. The man was eating a human leg while his son was eating some human ribs.THEY WHERE CANNIBALS.


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Hagan pissed off everyone in his Viking village.

Hagan pissed off everyone in his Viking village. One day, the villagers were fed up with his rotten behavior. They grabbed their pitchforks and sickles and ran up the hill to kill the bastard. They get to his house but it’s all locked up. They try peeking in the windows but can’t see a thing. They lift a man onto the roof and he tries to push aside the thatch to look inside.


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What's black and white and can't go through a revolving door?

A zebra with a spear through its head.

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What's black and white and can't go through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.

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A cannibal is teaching his son how to hunt ...

Hiding on top of a tree by a busy trail, the father and son are sizing up their potential meals. The son was always eager to jump whenever someone walks by, but always the patient father held him back for various reasons : too many ppl in a group. Too strong a target. Too risky etc.

Finally a thin frail old lady walked by alone, wobbling on her cane, ready for the picking. Excited fo


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What's black and white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a spear through her head.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't get through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.

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A terrible storm wrecks a ship at sea...

...and a lone survivor is washed up on the beach of a tropical island.

He wakes up to the sound of drums in the island's interior, and makes his way through the jungle to investigate.

Sun-stroked and exhausted, he stumbles into the middle of a clearing and is suddenly surround by the leveled spears of a fearsome tribe of island natives!

"Oh God,&qu


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What's black white red all over and can't go through a revolving door

A nun with a spear through her

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