Soda

Jokes

How does a pyromaniac react when they get flammable Coco cola for Christmas?

He's soda lighted!

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I hate crushing pop cans...

It's soda pressing.

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Last night I had a dream I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda

It turns it was just a fanta sea

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Why did the can crusher quit his job?

It was soda pressing

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Why does Pepsi always achieve its goals?

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What state has the smallest drinks

Mini-soda

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If a killer whale wanted to compete with the Philharmonic, he'd just have to sip on a soda.

Then he'd have a full orca straw.

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I hate my job at the can recycling center.

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What is Sauron's favorite soda pop?

Mountain Dewm.

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Had a weird dream last night, it was about the ocean but the water was soda

It was all just a Fanta Sea

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I just had to start taking anti-depressants after starting my new career testing the strength of Coke cans...

I love my job, but its soda-pressing

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Had a dream the ocean was orange soda.

Turns out it was a Fanta sea.

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Why was the weight lifter upset after lifting a case of Coke?

It was just soda pressing.

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What is a fat American's way of losing weight?

A double big mac, large fries, with a *diet* soda.

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New manager of White Claw tells team to sell 100,000 cases of soda

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What does Doctor Pepper's son cqll him?

Soda Pop

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Father: Son, live as if this will be your last day.

Son: It might as well be my last day dad. Going to Walmart to get some soda. I love you dad.

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Last night I dreamt I was swimming in orange soda...

But it was just a fanta sea

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I kind of really want a soda, how do I stop myself from it?

I’m serious, I need the help. Thanks

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Women say girth is more important than length

Thank god im hung like a 1 inch tall soda can

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What kind of soda do blind people hate?

Pep-see

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Did you hear about Minnesota's new law against importing soft drinks?

It's soda-MN hard to get a drink there anymore.

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What's the most sexual soda?

Mount 'n Do

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Why did Hitler put the Jews in the gas chambers?

He wanted some soda.

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I saw two diseases drinking some soda

It was Hep C and Ebola sharing a Pepsi cola

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I was really looking forward to a drink of Pepsi but when it arrived, it was flat.

Soda pressing.

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I'm not in love with orange soda.

It's just a little Crush.

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Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

But it was just a Fanta sea.

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and a Minister

A Priest, A Rabbi, and a Minister are in a boat out in the middle of a lake. The priest says, “I’m thirst, I’m going to go get something to drink.” So he steps out of the boat, walks across the water to shore, grabs a soda, and walks back to the boat and climbs in. The minister says, “I’m getting thirsty too.” And he hops out of the boat and walks across t


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Did you know when you use a soda stream youre gassing the juice?

Did you know when you use a soda stream you’re gassing the juice?

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I like my soda like I like my women

Flat

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Grandpa: In my day we worked three times as hard.

Me: In your day soda contained cocaine.

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How do nazis make soda?

They gas the juice.

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I was at a party and people were only drinking soda.

There was no punch line.

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Thor and Loki enter a bar.

Thor asks for two beers to start off and gets very drunk, but Loki only has water and soda the whole night. They get into a fight with each other. Even though Loki was sober, they both leave the bar hammered.

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Thor and Loki enter a bar.

Thor asks for two beers to start himself off. Loki only has water and soda the whole night. They get into a fight. They both leave the bar hammered.

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A psychiatrist asks his patient,

“Are you afraid of change?”

The patient replies, “no!”

“Good, go get me a soda!”

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I quit my job at the aluminum can recycling facility

It was soda pressing

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A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartenders attention, and says Ill have ........ a soda water.

The bartender replies “why the long paws?”

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On Bill and Hillarys wedding night

On Bill and Hillary's wedding night, Bill said " I'll always be truthful to you Hillary, but promise you'll never open this shoebox.

Thinking it's a strange request, Hillary agreed that she never would.

On their 30th anniversary, she stumbles upon the box. Having kept her promise for all these years, she decides to open the box. Inside, there are


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There was a kid in our class named Ed who always drank soda so we called him Fizz Ed

We later shortened it to Jim.

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The most boring party ever



So, there once was a man and woman at a party. The party had lines for everything, buffet style, a fruit line, a water line, a steak line. So the woman is kinda hungry, and asks the man to get her a steak. So the man does. The woman also wants something to wash it down, of course, so she asks for a soda. The man comes back with a soda, and the woman, picky as ever, is saying she neve


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Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

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Last night, I dreamt that I was sailing in a sea of soda.

I wish I could go back to that Fanta sea.

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If a killer whale wanted to compete with the Philharmonic, he'd just have to sip on a soda.

Then he'd have a full orca straw.

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Why dont some ppl have a go-to soda?

Because some ppl like die at soda

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I hate my job smashing old soda cans

It’s soda pressing

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I remember back in the day I use to go to the store with $2 and come back with 2 bags of chips, 3 candy bars, a pack of starbursts, and a soda...

But nowadays they have cameras everywhere

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A drunk man stared at a huge billboard for more than an hour.

The billboard, advertising soda, wanted the world to Drink Canada Dry. So the drunk bought a bus ticket to give it a shot.

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Three women are at the hairdressers

talking about their husbands, who all have the same name. One woman says they should each give their husband a nickname so they can tell them apart when talking about them, and suggests they name them after different sodas. The first woman says, “Well I’m calling my husband 7-Up, because he’s 7 inches and he’s always up”. The second woman says, “I’ll call


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