Snort

Jokes

A dollar a twenty and a hundred dollar bill argue who is worth more

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My gf asked me if she could snort a line of cocaine on my erect dick,

I got so weirded out by this demand of hers that I had to dickline it.

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Just heard a coke joke.

It made me snort.

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I made a guy snort after telling him one of my jokes.

I'm quite bossy when it comes to cocaine.

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What's the difference between Coke and Pepsi?

You can't snort Pepsi.

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Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?

She thought it was diet coke

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How much coke did Charlie Sheen snort?

Enough to kill two and a half men

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I hate that I regularly snort cocaine...

I'm not even addicted, it just smells so fucking good.

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In soviet russia

The drugs snort you

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There's only ONE drug popular in Uganda

They snort cocaine down in Africa

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What's the difference between a snort and a sniff?

Nobody knows the answer yet.

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Why didn't the trains at the station leave after the passengers boarded?

If they wanted to leave, they would have gone to the leavetion.

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I apologize, it's a terrible joke. But I made it up on the spot and it caused my daughter to snort the bean sprout she was eating into her nose.

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A coke user waits in line for a bar.

That’s the joke. Thought it was a good a good line, I bet it made you snort.

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A boy and a girl are kissing in the park...

After some time the girl, clearly anoyed by something, says to boy: "Can you please spit out that chewing gum when we are kissing!?"

And the boy says: "Sorry... (Snort!) I am little under the cold..."

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I don't snort cocaine. I just like the way it smells.

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I used to snort coke ...

... but I kept cutting my nose on the can :(

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What happens when you snort 12 lines of cocaine in Mexico?

You over Doce

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Can't escape Dad jokes when you're a Dad...

Son (in crowded store): "Hey Dad, do you know where Mom went?"

Me: (knowing Mom can hear around the corner) "Just ask some people where the most beautiful woman in the store is..."

Mom: (snort-laughs from around the corner)

Me: "...and see if she has seen your Mom."

Mom: (silence)

Mom: "Can't l


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If you want to lose weight stop drinking coke.

Snort it instead.

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What's the difference between a ruler and cocaine?

well you don't snort the ruler after drawing a line with it

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Why did the blonde snort sweet and low?

She thought it was Diet Coke

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Do fish smoke seaweed?

That wouldn't make any sense, they're underwater. They snort it

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If you snort coke, you get high. If you snort flour...

..you get baked.

...frighteningly, my 5th grader came up with this while we were having a discussion about drugs and what he might end up seeing in Middle School next year.

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Kids these days are eating tide pods? I mean I used to snort lines of tide...

but I'm all clean now

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Kids these days eating tidal pods? I mean I used to snort tide back in the day...

[deleted]

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Why did the blonde snort sweet and low?

Because she thought it was diet coke

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My uncle always tells me I shouldn't snort coke

He says I'll get ice cubes stuck in my nose.

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What kind of drugs do ducks take?

The snort quack.

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Coke Addict and the Genie

So a cocaine addict finds a lamp, rubs it and out pops a Genie

"So seeing as you have released me, you have 3 and only 3 wishes. What is you first wish?"

"I would like a big, fat line of the best coke in the world, and make sure you get yourself one too"
Sure enough two lines of coke appear and they both snort them up.

"Okay,&qu


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(Sorry in advance, dad joke) What happens when you snort space dust?

You see stars!

Even I groaned at that. Sorry.

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I never spend all my money on drugs...

I always keep a dollar bill to snort them.

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Why'd the blonde snort a line of Splenda?

She thought it was diet coke

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The 1996 film "Crack" was directed by whom?

Francis Snort Cokealot

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Why is it a bad idea to snort cocaine out of someone's butthole?

It's been tainted

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"I wonder what it's like to snort Pepsi"

"I imagine it's pretty similar to snorting Coke"

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I really need to stop making jokes about drugs...

They always seem to fall snort.

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So my friend held up a can of coke...

And asked, "How do people snort this stuff?"

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Why did the blond snort NutraSweet?

She thought it was diet coke.

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What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine:

Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day?

He was basically addicted.

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Why did the blonde snort splenda?

She thought it was diet coke.

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Did you hear about the guy who needed to snort a line of baking soda every day?

He was basically addicted.

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Why did the Blonde snort Sweet amp Low?

She thought it was Diet Coke!

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Why did the man snort Dr. Pepper?

He thought it was Coke!

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The Charlie Horse

The Charlie Horse:

1 part horse piss
1 part Bacardi 151
1/8 oz of cocaine

Mix lightly and snort through straw,
The Charlie Horse

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How much coke did Charlie Sheen snort?

Enough to kill two and a half men.

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