Snappy

Jokes

Why wasn't Thanos picked for jury duty?

Because he makes snappy judgements!

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I NEED YOUR MOST HILARIOUS RIDDLES!

Going as the riddler for Halloween and I want some snappy hilarious riddles to say while dressed up as him. Hopefully some of them could be related to partying or clubbing or drinking of some sort.

Anyone got any really funny riddles?

Thanks in advance!

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What do you get when you cross an alligator and a bookshelf?

Snappy titles

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A guy walks into a restaurant and orders a rubber band sandwich ...

He says “And make it snappy”

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Why did it take only one movie for Thanos to get all of the infinity stones?

Because he wanted to make it snappy.

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Out of nowhere, i got a huge paragraph on why my friend thinks i'm great

Thinks got right sappy right snappy.

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I wrote a song about cutting down trees.

It’s not a snappy tune, it just lumbers along.

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Knew a guy who fashioned an entire suit out of rubber bands.

He was quite the snappy dresser.

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How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

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REQUEST: Need a few snappy one-liners for a male co-worker whose hair is too shaggy (think a blonde George Harrison) and maintains an unshaven 5-day old beard (think George Michael).

This guy is a close colleague of mine and we're friends outside of work. He's blonde and has blue eyes. I don't need jokes as much as I need witty, snappy one-liners about looking professional. Here are some of the jabs I've used:

- Get a haircut....and get a real job

- Jesus Christ! I mean...you look like Jesus Christ!

- What are you goi


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Top ten snappy comebacks for nosy people

This is great!

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He'd make the best firefighter.


My friend is the absolute worst at snappy comebacks

I guess you could say he's flame retardant.

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I went into a cafe and said,

" A crocodile sandwich and make it snappy."

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One day the master of quick wit and snappy repartee goes to the circus...

... during the show the clowns are doing their thing - getting lots of people in a little car, squirting each other from their flowers - when one of the clowns sees the master of quick wit and snappy repartee (from here on known as "the M of QW and SR") sitting in the front of the audience.

"So" the clowns says to the M of QW and SR "are you the front end of a


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You should never start an argument with a group of short-tempered gay men...

...'cause it's hard to beat those snappy comebacks.

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WHAT KIND OF BAND PLAYS SNAPPY MUSIC?

A RUBBER BAND.

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In need of a snappy comeback

it won't be so snappy, as it happened hours ago, but here's the setup:

in french class, the lady teacher tries to explain sentence structure or something by saying to a girl, "You are still pretty, even though you have a nose ring."

i thought it was funny, but the girl had a minor case of high school embarrassment over it.

the moment has


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Dont you get snappy with me boy!

.. I might just call the catholic priest on your ass.

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Who did your voting machine vote for? 11 more snappy political zingers

[deleted]

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