Slob

Jokes

A sock on the door knob means youre having sex.

Underwear on the door knob means you’re a messy slob who will never have sex, besides with a sock.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Its all about perspective

Instead of feeling bad that I’m ugly and dress like a slob, I feel good because I’m helping everyone else feel better about themselves :)

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Could you guys suggest a good deodorant for my stinking wife?

It's only been 4 days since I've cut up the slob but the smell is becoming unbearable now.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Dirty slob to his OCD crush

" I will give meaning to your cleaning"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

On a flight back from Russia, a flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the captain immediately. Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking!"

She continues, "There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, sweaty, old slob who looks like a sexual deviant!”

The captain responds, “You must be new here. This is Air Force One.”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

On a flight back from Russia, a flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the captain immediately

“Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, sweaty, old slob who looks like a sexual deviant!”

The captain responds, “You must be new here. This is Air Force One.”


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board,

so she reports it to the Captain immediately.

“Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, and the man she is with, is a fat old slob who looks like a sexual deviant, mean and dangerous!”

The captain responds, “You must be new here. This is Air Force One.&rdq


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man comes home from a long day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television and turns on the game. Without hesitation he tells his wife, Get me a beer before it starts. The wife sighs and gets him a beer.


Fifteen minutes later he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.” She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He quickly finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s about to start.” The wife is furious. She yells at him “Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and si


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A slob of a woman walks into Walmart...

The greeter notices that she has two unruly kids, one boy and one girl, who are running their mouths and picking their noses. The mother, who is also disgusting, looks at the greeter and says "the fuck is your problem?"

The greeter says "ma'am, your kids - are they twins?"

The woman replies "Why in the hell would you think that? One is five a


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Quick before it starts...

A man comes home after a terrible day of golf, his worst ever. He plops down on the couch in front of the television and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer and slams it down text to him. He looks at her from the couch and says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute...”

Th


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The apostles are at the last supper...

Jesus is eating like a slob and spilling wine everywhere and Judas says to him "Were you born in a barn?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Finding that one slob at the gym who's in worse shape than you is the best feeling.

The worst is realizing "he" is a mirror.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

While looking carefully through all my belongings after suspecting a break-in, I realized something...

I'm a huge slob.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE