Slide

Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide

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Why did the Goo Goo Dolls cross the road?

To get to the other Slide. Sorry for my bad joke.

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I got bit by a snake

I had to slide down from 99 to 42

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When youre at the playground, you can always tell which child plays the trombone.

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Three wizards decide to play with spells....

They conjure up a slide that leads into a pool and put a spell on it so that whatever you say as you come down the slide will appear in the pool.

The first wizard shouts "BEEEEEERRRR" whilst on the slide and lands in a pool of the best beer ever to be tasted.

The second wizard cries "WIIIINNNEEE" whilst coming down the slide. He lands in a pool of the


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Women are like Hurricanes

They come into your life wild and free and then leave with the **PATIO FURNITURE WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARAH YOU FUCKEN BITCH, I HOPE YOU SLIDE UNDER A GAS TRUCK AND TASTE YOUR OWN BLOOD!!**

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Do you know how to tell which kid at the pro belongs to the trombone player?

Can’t swing and doesn’t know how to use the slide.

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My friend just told me I was a pushover

I was honestly really pissed and upset he'd say that about me, i told him but said it was true so Id let it slide

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Why did the Cow walk across the road?

He was too fat to slide.

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I got expelled for making blueprints for a water slide that goes up one side of my university and down the other.

Maybe I shouldn't have started by saying that I wanted to chute up the school.

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If you slide down a sewer pipe, you might get a disease, but you might not.

It's a real crap-chute.

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Tesla

You can't Tokyo Drift in a Tesla

You can only do the Electric Slide

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What do you call a water slide with cocaine at the end?

A slippery slope

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Water Slide Incident

I go camping a lot and they have 2 different water slides. A normal slide and an inflatable that shoots water out from up top to get it wet.
Someone thought it would be a good idea to jump past where the water was reaching and belly flopped onto a non-wet plastic surface and got Indian burn all on his front side.

He then went to the office to get some aloe oil.


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Three men are walking in the desert

Three men are walking in a desert when they stumble across a wizard next to a magical slide
‘Slide down this ride shout out the name of your favorite drink’ the wizard commands

The three men question his logic but never the less the first man climbs to the top of the slide and begins to slide down
‘Coke’ the man shouts and to his amazement he w


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Obesity Floors Become Standard At Hospitals

Obesity floors have recently become standard in many hospitals, where if you were highly likely to return to the emergency room due to health-deterriorating habits, they wheeled the stretcher they were in to a room down a few hallways which they were free to leave, they just had to stand up and walk out. Sounds simple, right? ... Their beds are super awesome! They glide through the air suspended o


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Did you know that in the first draft of Zootopia, one of the main characters had a sibling voiced by Mr C The Slide Man?

The plot turned out to be way too confusing so they had to re-do the whole script, one Hopps this time.

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Why did the chicken cross the monkey bars?

To get to the other slide

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An elementary school teacher took her kids outside to teach math...

Each kid got onto the playground and waited their turn for the slide, the teacher prompting a question each time a child went. "What is the square root of 144 Timmy?" Timmy pondered for a while before going down the slide, coming down, and happily hopping off with a smile on his face. "The answer is 12 Ms. Johnson!" She would asked the other kids complex multiplication, exponen


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Why did the germs cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman and an Irishman are at a playground.

They are walking up to a slide when a genie stops them.

"Shout your favourite drink as you go down this slide and you will land in it"

So they start taking turns on the slide.

As the Scotsman goes down the slide, they shouts 'BEER!'

They lands in a pot of beer.

As the Englishman goes down the slide, they shouts &#


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Three men walking in a desert

Three men are walking in a desert when they stumble across a wizard next to a magical slide
‘Slide down this ride shout out the name of your favorite drink’ the wizard commands

The three men question his logic but never the less the first man climbs to the top of the slide and begins to slide down
‘Coke’ the man shouts and to his amazement he w


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My wife slipped in the bathroom and her vagina stuck with suction to the floor tiles...

I couldn't get her up so i called my friend to help. He came in with a hammer and chisel to chip away the tiles. I said hold on a second, dont bust up the floor. You play with her nipples and ill kiss her on the back of her neck. Then we can slide her into to kitchen to do this. Those floor tiles are half the price on these ones.


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A man goes to the track and bets $2 on a long shot and wins $18.



So he puts that $18 in the 2nd race and wins again $128. Again he puts it all on a long shot in the 3rd

race and again wins $770!

He keep doing this for each race, and finally on the last race he puts his entire winnings so far - $1,941,550!

The crowds are all around him watching this race, because at 8:1 odds he can win $15,532,402!


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Suppose Nintendo were to create like a 100ft slide for playgrounds and stuff...

It oughta be called the Nintendo Wheeee!

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Three men walked to the top of a slide

At the top of the slide there was a wizard.

“Say what you wish for and you shall receive your wish at the bottem of the slide” said the wizard.

The first man slid down and shouted “SILVER” and at the bottem was alot of silver.

The seceond man slid down and shouted “GOLD” and at the bottem was alot of gold

Th


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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

>! To get to the other slide.

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What does a tesla do in the rain?

The electric slide.

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What does a tesla do in the rain?

The electric slide

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Playground?

To get to the other slide

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman find a magic slide.

They read the sign; “Go down the slide, shout out your dreams, and whatever you desire will be waiting for you at the bottom.” Sure enough, there is an inflatable paddling pool at the bottom of the slide.

The Irishman goes first, throws himself down the slide and shouts “Drink!” He lands in a pool of the finest whisky.

The Scotsman goes next, slide


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When a Tesla drifts,

It's called the electric slide

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A White Man, a Black Man, and a Mexican all walk into a bar

They're confronted by a beautiful woman who tells them there's a slide in the back of that bar that grants any wish. The only catch was they had to shout what they wanted while going down.

The White man goes up first, and while going down shouts "Silver!" and lands gently onto a pile of silver.

The Black man goes up second, and while going down shouts


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An American, British, and a Frenchman discover a magic slide

The slide grants whatever you wish for as you say it while going down
So the American guy goes first and as he speeds down he yells out "A million dollars"
Sure enough, when he reaches the bottom he finds A million dollars waiting for him.


The British guy goes next and roars "Gold and diamonds".
And just like the American, he sees h


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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide

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My dad showed me a 30 slide PowerPoint presentation on safe sex and benefits of condoms...

All the slides were pictures of me and my brother.

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3 men walk in the desert

They are thirsty and would do anything for a drink. Suddenly they see a giant slide and a sign next to it. It reads, “Slide down the slides and shout the name of the drink you want and when you reach the bottom of the slide, there will be a pool of it

The first man slides down the slide and shouts, “WATER!” and lands in a pool of that

The next man slid


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Whats the two most common things a priests says?

Hallelujah and God damn it let me slide it up there.

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How are driving in the winter and going down on a girl alike?

If you're not careful, you'll slide right into the asshole in front of you.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide

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Why did the playground-fanatic cross the road?

To get to the other slide!

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Today my dad showed me a 30 slide long PPT on why I should use a condom during sex.

All the slides were just different photos of me.

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My wife found out I'd been sleeping with another woman.


"It was only one night!" I assured her.

"Fine," she gasped, "I'll let it slide. Which day?"

"Every Friday for six months."

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Some kid came up to me in the playground today and hit me

Dont worry i let it slide

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman find a magical slide

A sign at the top of the slide tells them that whatever they say as they go down is what they'll land in.

The Englishman goes first, and as he goes down the slide he yells "gold!" and lands in a big pot of solid gold bars.

The Scotsman goes down the slide and yells "diamonds!" and lands in a big pot of perfectly cut diamonds.

The Iris


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A Welshman an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a park,

they see a slide, but this is no ordinary slide, this slide is magic, as anything you say going down the slide is what you will land in, so the Irishman goes first "A POT OF GOLD" he yells as he slides down the slide, and he lands in a pot of gold, the Welshman next "POT OF DIAMONDS" yells just as loud as the Irishman, he lands in a pot of diamonds, the Englishman goes next but


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My new slide which disposes the beverage you asked while sliding down definitely needs improvement.

Apparently it does not know how to separate a request and an expression of "wheeeee!".

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My Dad made me watch a 20 minute video of why you should wear a condom during sex.

Oddly it was just a 20min slide show with pictures of me...

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The doctor, architect and 2nd hand car salesman

A doctor, an architect, and a 2nd hand car salesman are in a pub arguing over who has the cleverest dog. The doctor has a dog named Scalpel. He sees a pile of bones in the corner and whispers to Scalpel. Scalpel runs over to the bones and erects a perfect human skeleton, then run back to the doctor and sits by his side. "See, this is the cleverest dog in the world" said the doctor. The a


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There was an English man, a Scottish man and an Irish man

They all went to a magical slide in which you would land in whatever you shouted while riding. The English man shouted

"Gold!" he landed in gold , took it and went home happily.

The Scottish man shouted

"Silver!" he landed in silver, took it and went home happily.

The Irish man enjoyed the slide so much that while he was ridi


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