A knight and his men return to their castle...
...after a long hard day of fighting. "How are we faring?" asks the king. "Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west." "What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!" "Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."
My wife caught me fucking our daughter, and i am not sire what freaked her out more...
... That I am fucking our daughter, or that the hospital lets me keep the fetus
The policemen were talking over the radio:
- Mr. Sargeant, we arrived at the crime location
*- What's the situation over there?* - asked the sargeant over the radio
- A woman just killed its husband. He was stabbed 35 times, shot twice, asphixiated, decapitated and then burned.
*- And what was the reason for such an atrocious crime? *- Asked the sargeant
- He stepped right on the wet
This should raise a dry smile, then...
The knight approached the king and said, "Sire, we have spent the past two weeks destroying and pillaging the towns of your enemies to the West."
"What?" said the king, concerned. "I don't have any enemies in the West!"
"Oh," said the knight. "Well, you do now..."
Servant: Sire Sire! The peasants are revolting!
King: Yes, Aren't they