Shriek

Jokes

True Gym Story

I was at the gym the other day doing my bicep curls and there was this cute girl with a ponytail there. She was giving me the "Fuck me" eyes. I ignored her because I'm not about to let some girl distract me from gettin' these gainz. After 10 minutes, I finished my last rep and noticed she was having trouble deadlifting half her weight. I thought: "Hey, I've finished m


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A man and a woman got married.

Then they bore twin boys. From birth the boys despised each other. So one day, the older twin thought, "I'm just going to kill him," so he construed a plan to put drips of poison on his mother's nipple, so that when his brother breastfed, he would die. The next day he awoke to a violent shriek from his mother only to find his father to be dead and his brother alive as ever.


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Virgin Jesus

Jesus was a virgin. Everyone up in heaven wanted him to finally get laid. So St. Peter called a hooker and invited her to heaven. He told her to get inside an empty room. The apostles went to Jezus and told him to enter the room. Jesus was confused by this, but he went anyway. Several minutes passed, when suddenly a loud, ear-piercing shriek was heard throughout the home of God. Everyone entered t


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Liza was driving with Ernie... nsfw

Liza was on a country drive with her boyfriend Ernie, when she realized she simply "had to go" to the bathroom. She kept waiting and waiting for a gas station to appear, but finally a rough bridge got the best of her. She screamed: "Stop the car, Ernie!" He did, she leaped out right in the middle of the bridge, ran to the railing, hiked her skirt, and stuck her rather large re


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