Shitty

Jokes

I've written a book about a young girl

who takes drugs and encounters all kinds of strange creatures talking in almost incomprehensible dialect. It ends up with her getting pregnant and becoming a single mother, living on a shitty estate and surviving off benefits.

It's called "Alice in Sunderland".

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My friend tried to make a shitty joke about taps

I told him not to faucet

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Knock knock. Who's there? Abraham. Abraham who?

Abraham Lincoln (such i shitty joke but i still find it funny)

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What is LAX, the code for the Los Angeles airport, short for?

Laxative. It is designed to give you a shitty experience.

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Behind every great band...

Is a shitty woman

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I finally figured out why fast food sandwiches look so shitty

It's because they're inbread

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An extremely sheltered mother and son moved to a suburban neighborhood in L.A...

...from an *extremely* Christian gated community. She worked from home making just enough to get by, so she didn't have to find a new job. She decides to send her little 6 year old boy to a public school to save some money. Over the years that little boy learned a few new words and phrases and was smart enough to not say it around his mom. About 10 years later, he is 16 years old and hasn


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I work cleaning toilets at my local bar

Pretty shitty job

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My dad has colon cancer

It's shitty.

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Did you hear about the man who dropped his watch in the toilet?

He had a shitty time....

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I used to laugh at poop jokes

then I realised how shitty they are

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So I tried anal for the first time last night

It ended up being a really shitty experience

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What happens when you hold in a fart?

It goes to your head and you get shitty thoughts

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What do you call an unsatisfying orgy?

Pretty Shitty Gang Bang

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A real shitty AMA.

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If Zac Efron was a shitty spice girl...

He would be called Whack Saffron

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I hate diarrhea

It's just so shitty

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A father and son are having a heated argument

The son storms off and shouts, "Jim Morrison was a shitty lyricist!"

The father replies, "What did I tell you about slamming Doors in my house?"

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Not a joke need help.

So for this joke we are trying to find super shitty jokes similar to the one of " is your refrigerator running.. cuz you better go catch it." Thanks for your time and help.

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Im a septic tank cleaner.

It’s a shitty job, but someone needs to do it.

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I asked my girlfriend if I'm the only "one" she has ever been with.

She said no, told me she was a slut, and asked me to stop reposting this shitty joke before dumping my un-funny ass.

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I finally had anal sex!

It was pretty shitty though..

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They say too much porn can make you aggressive and affect your iQ

What a shitload of bullshit, I don’t even have that shitty Apple product.

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A friend of mine slipped and fell, hurting his ass.

He hurt his ass so bad, there was a crack...

​

I know, this joke was shitty

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What do you call a person who reposts shitty posts?

A retard.

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We complained about our shitty pay, and they did nothing about it.

So we did a shit in.

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What do you call a really shitty party

A portaparty

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Ever since I dropped my phone in the toilet,

My cell reception has been kind of shitty.

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Why should you never hold a fart in?

It'll travel up your spine to your brain and that's where shitty thoughts come from.

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I don't know Papa John used to get so much done with his schedule...

I mean he had to be racist AND make shitty pizza ALL

while gargling Peyton Manning’s balls.

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My Grandad always said When one door closes, another opens.

Awesome guy, but he was a shitty cabinetmaker.

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I just had an argument with a girl I know.

She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut.
So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key.
But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock.
That shut her up.


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I told my hot co-worker how I felt. Turns out she felt the same way.

So we both quit our shitty job without air conditioning.

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My girlfriend asked me what I thought about anal

I said it’s pretty shitty

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I saw a chameleon today...

I guess that must make it a really shitty chameleon.

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Why did the poop float on top of the water?

It felt shitty and didn't give a crap.

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FiRSt JoKee PleASE DonT MaKe FuN oF mE

something something shitty play on words of a reddit circlejerk haha very funny giv me upvotes please

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You wanna know what really chaps my ass?

The shitty one ply toilet paper in my works bathroom.

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A group of bikers rolls into a bar, and immediately starts to beat up some local mechanics.

I would too, if they sold me shitty brakes.

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Why are liberals shitty city drivers?

Because they don’t see color.

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Which of the girls are you dating, Gavin?

Mark: is it Fay or Sophie?
Gavin: the first one
Mark: So, Fay then?
Gavin: Yes that one

I know it is shitty but at least it ain't a repost lol

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I dont know why I decided to eat glitter.

Turns out it was a pretty shitty idea.

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What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

I don't have the balls to post this shitty joke.

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I cant stop making horrible toilet paper jokes.

I guess I’m just on a roll.

Sorry for the shitty joke.

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Dysentery.

It’s a shitty way to die.

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When the toilet paper breaks, or in for a shitty day

Or an orgasm, depending on how aggressively you broke it

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Why did the cannibal girl break up with her boyfriend?

He was a shitty person.

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If you could wipe out one race from existence, what race would you choose?

The 400m
It doesn’t have the fast-sprinting excitement of the 100m, and it doesn’t let long distance runners show what they can do like the 800m+ races.
It’s just kinda a shitty middle ground nobody likes

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Shitty Joke

You rarely ever see shit in the bathroom.

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What's the difference between spiders and Millenials

Spiders build webs worldwide while Millenials get blamed for killing shitty businesses like Applebee's.

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