Sheer

Jokes

Being unable to get over a cold through sheer moxie has given me a new appreciation for modern medicine.

It can be good to have Amoxicillin.

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Pewdiepie vs T-Series

A couple friends and I (one of them from China, and the other friend and I from India) were talking about Pewdiepie and T-Series over lunch.

We were talking about how it doesn't matter how hard Pewds tries, the sheer population of India is way too high for him to keep up. Out of nowhere, my friend from China says, "You India, You Lose."

I look at him and sa


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I created a magazine for pub trivia enthusiasts. Ive been all over the world to write about the best games. They all pretty much work the same way: drink, answer questions, have a blast. The sheer LUNACY of what I chronicled at a little hotel bar in Andalusia, however, blew my readers minds!

Nobody expected the Spanish Inn Quiz edition!

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A woman named Rosie is getting married

The groom puts a ring around Rosie's finger, he has a bunch of flowers, a posy, in his pocket waiting to be given to his new wife. Rosies father had tragically died a month back, she sheds a tear while looking at the urn of her dad's ashes. The mix of sheer happiness and sadness was enough for Rosie to faint and fall down.

Rosie had the Plague. Rosie died.


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For his 50th wedding anniversary, a man decided to buy some lingerie for his wife.

He went to one of the finer stores in town and asked to see some of their nightgowns. When the salesperson brought out the first item he asked how much it was and was told $100. “I’d like something a little more sheer” said the gentleman. The salesperson brought out a second item, whereupon the gentleman asked the price and was told it was $250. “That’s still not shee


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A man enters a sexy lingerie store to purchase a transparent negligee for his wife.

The salesgirl shows him several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothi


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An austrailian is visiting New Zealand, and driving through the countryside.

On the side of the road, he sees a flock of sheep, and a man fucking one right in the field. He pulls up to the man and says, "You know, where I'm from we sheer those."

The man stops for a second and replies "sheer it? I aint sheering it with anyone!"

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A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no ...dummy ), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be no


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A horse walks into a bar for the 500th time.

Not only does it wince in unbearable pain due to the sheer number of collisions, but it also starts to cry of embarrassment because it's a repost that he's run into and whenever he tries to tell people about it, he gets downvoted.

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In Australia we sheer our sheep. The new Zealand guy says, fuck off, I'm not sheering her with anyone. As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there isnt something trying to kill you...

“School” is my answer

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An Australian goes to new Zealand

An Australian goes to new Zealand and sees a guy fucking a sheep on the side of the road, he says mate, in Australia we sheer our sheep. The new Zealand guy says, fuck off, I'm not sheering her with anyone.

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Two blond females were trapped in an elevator

They kept yelling because they thought someone might hear them but it was no use!

Suddenly, Blond Female #1 turned to Blond Female #2. She had a brilliant idea!

"What if... we start yelling together?"

Blond Female #2's eyes widened at the sheer brilliance of Blond Female #1's suggestion.

They looked at each other and took a d


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My friend said he might die out of sheer tediousness.

I think he's going a bit over bored.

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Words could not express the sheer excitement fans felt after hearing Rick amp Morty was officially renewed.

Mainly because the fanbase doesn't exactly know how words work.

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My granddad ate the confetti thrown at him out of sheer anger

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A woman collapsed on the street

Her husband, luckily, was able to catch her in time.

"Is anyone here a doctor!?" The husband shouted with sheer panic in his tone.

A man barreled through the onlooking crowd, knocking a few of them over to join the husband and wife.

"I'm a vegan!" The man said.

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I kinda want Hillary to win the US election

Just for the sheer irony of her sitting at the desk Monica was under.

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The Sheer Nightgown

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the sheerer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife think


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Three cowboys are out on the range.

One night around the campfire, to pass the time they begin swapping stories of their feats to prove who is the biggest man.

The first cowboy says, "I once killed a mountain lion with nothing but my hunting knife and sheer grit."

The second cowboy scoffs at this and claims, "Psh, that's nothing! I once wrestled a grizzly bear to death with my bare hand


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The perils of wish-granting

A man is walking along a beach and kicks something in the sand. He digs it out and finds an old oil lamp. He brushes it off and a genie pops out! "For setting me free, I will grant you any one wish" the genie declares. The man's face lights up "I know what I want! I've always wanted to take a vacation in Hawaii but I'm deathly afraid of flying. Can you build me a brid


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Did you hear about the sheep who committed suicide before they could sheer him?

He died in the wool.

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Snail terror!

A snail awoke from a fine sleep to find himself sitting on top of a tortoise who was walking across the garden at which point he bellowed in sheer terror,
"Whoa slow down! Slow down! For God's sake! Are you trying to kill me?!!!!"

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Why do nuns wear fancy lingerie?

Sheer habit.

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A man is on a business trip...

and decides to buy his wife some new lingerie. A saleswoman greets him as he enters an expensive lingerie store, and asks him how she can help. Then man replies, "I'm looking for something made with very sheer fabric".

The saleswoman leaves for a minute and returns with a semi-transparent piece of lingerie, informing the man that it would cost $200 due to the expensive


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A Vampire bat comes back to his cave one night,

covered in fresh blood, and parks himself upside down on the roof of the cave, to get a little shuteye.

However, the other bats in the cave soon begin to smell the blood, and start to pester the hell out of him as to its source.

After about a half hour, he *finally* relents. "Follow me, guys, and I'll show you."

Twenty or thirty bats all le


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I just don't get some people. I mean, you compliment on their mustache out of sheer politeness...

...and all of a sudden she hates your guts.

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