Sham

Jokes

One time some guy on the street tried to sell me a magical pillow case.

Turns out it was just a sham.

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What do you call it when lies come out of your ass?

Sham poo

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What did Owl say to Winnie-the-Pooh wanting to buy Minoxidil?

It’s just sham, Pooh!

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An innovating artist dies and ascends to the afterlife

Upon reaching it, he is very concerned with where he will end up, since he worshipped a different religion than what he has arrived in.
He is greeted by the god, who welcomes him to the highest school.
The artist is shocked by this, asking "What did I do to deserve such a reward? I attended mass every Sunday, I was a devotee of a different deity."
The being respon


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What do you get when a hairstylist lies about what they've eaten?

Sham-poo.

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Sometimes I tell everyone I'm going for a shit, then sneak off and wash my hair instead.

I have a sham-poo

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I threw a plastic turd in the shower

My wife asked for sham poo

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A sketchy dude was trying to sell me an elaborate pillowcase.

It turns out it was a sham.

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I told my wife I cant find the matching decorative pillow case...

She said it’s a sham.

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Local man's gamble on fake spheres goes bad

His investment is in sham balls.

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What do you call a fake turd?

*Sham Poo*

(Someone has to have thought of this before.)

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An Irish Proposal

An Irishman proposed to his girlfriend on Saint Patrick’s Day and gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond.

On learning it wasn't real she protested vehemently about his cheapness.

He explained that in honor of Saint Patrick’s Day, he picked her a sham-rock.

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I just bought this hair product that uses bat guano.

It's supposed to get rid of dandruff, but it didn't work!

Turns out it's just sham poo.

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That's a nice sham you've got there...

It'd be a shame if somebody...

added and e

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What was the ancient romans favorite alcoholic beverage?

sham-pagan

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What drink does Neymar celebrate with?

Sham pain

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My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring

The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it every day.

I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.

It was a sham rock.

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Why is literature so important for Muslim women's rights?

Ro Sham Bo, paper beats stones.

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That's a nice sham you've set up

It'd be a shame if someone....



added an e

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I always seem to hurt myself when I'm pretending to drink wine in the morning

and wake up with a sham pain.

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Trump Advisor: "You should't have called Putin to congratulate him on winning a sham election...."

Trump: "Why not? He called to congratulate me!"

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What do you call a fake turd?

Sham-poo

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An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley...

... proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.

The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.

'It was in honor of St. Patrick'


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So, I asked him: "Why do you have a fake dog turd in your shower?!"

He said: "Because, it's sham-poo."

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Dwayne Johnson was once called out for claiming false Irish heritage.

It was a sham rock.

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Did you hear about the Irish jewel scam?

They got caught selling sham rocks

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The invention of Shampoo

I had a dog named Sham, while i was walking it, Sham wanted to take a dumb, so i released the leash and waited, after he came back, somebody shouted "Who's shit is that?" so i told him "That is Sham poo"

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Why can't you ever trust pillowcase salesmen?

Because it might be a *sham*

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What do you call it when an Irish band is caught lip syncing?

Sham rock.

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You know why Irish pillow cases are so popular?

They can really make a sham rock.

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A man comes across a street peddler... OC?

A man comes across a street peddler selling bottles of "exotic remedies." He takes a whiff of a bottle and exclaims "this smells like ... farts and rainbows!" The peddler explains that the primary ingredient is unicorn droppings, which helps rinse away any filth and grim buildup.

The man excitedly purchases the miracle product. As he turns to go he inspects the bo


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I used poo to wash my hair.

What a sham! Poo doesn't work at all!

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A plank of wood walks into a bar...

And orders a strawberry liqueur. The bartender puts a drink in front of him and the plank of wood takes a sip. He immediately spits it out and exclaims "This isn't a strawberry liqueur! This is raspberry liqueur!" The bartender responds "I know! It's a sham, board!"

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What is a soccer player's favorite drink?

Sham-pain.

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What do you call a fake shit?

A sham poo

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I met a guy who said he could get a great deal on a pillowcase...

turns out, it was a sham.

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Why should you wash your hair with counterfeit feces?

Because it's sham poo.

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A Joke

An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.

The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.

&#


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