Separation

Jokes

My friend's wife filed...

for "*separatio a mensa et thoro"***.** It translates into English as "separation from bed and table".

I guess my friend can't eat properly, either.

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Mitosis home

I heard about the separation of the cell, but unfortunately, I am

a Mitofloridian. There is no separation from the Cell. I am a Florida Man. Do Not Ask.

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Robert Mueller is looking at Don Jr. and Ivanka's involvement in Trump Tower Moscow

This is a family separation I can get behind!

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I've been having some separation anxiety recently, and my Jamaican psychiatrist recommended that I bend an old pen around my finger as an exercise in self-assurance

Worked like a charm, I really feel like I am in de pen dent

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I just became a vegetarian and I'm trying some new meatless options, come to find out I like everything but seitan.

I'm just not a fan of religion in my food. I believe in a firm separation of church and plate.

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I just ordered takeout.

I had to fill out a 37-page questionnaire detailing my political beliefs. Separation of powers cost me an egg roll.

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The pope is absolutely right about family separation at the border

If they aren't with their parents who will take those little boys to church?

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The US Attorney General Jeff Sessions cites the bible to support the separation of children from their families

The US Attorney General Jeff Sessions cites the bible to support the separation of children from their families. When he is church on Sunday he prays to God to help him. God looks down lovingly and wants to help him so he sends his son down to speak to him.

In the middle of the night Jeff Sessions sees a man appear in his bedroom. He has a long beard and is wearing a loose robe that s


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All the computers at my local church only use functional programming languages

It's to enforce a separation of church and state


^^I ^^am ^^not ^^good ^^at ^^computers ^^so ^^I ^^don't ^^know ^^if ^^this ^^one ^^actually ^^makes ^^sense

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North Korea gets a call from South Korea after decades of separation

South Korea: "Did you miss me?"

North Korea: "I don't recognise you"

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Muslims are so open minded when it comes to politics

They believe in the separation of church and state !

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What does laundry day and the 1950's have in common

Color separation

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I have separation anxiety so I date a boomerang.

It always comes back to me.

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Insisting on Separation

My sister has had a problem with my current girlfriend, to the point that its become clear that they weren't willing to talk to each other when she came over. Being the case, I've had to remove all mirrors in my house so they don't end up meeting each other accidentally.

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What's the one public place that most people still support the separation of Colors and Whites?

The laundromat.

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So, two guys are talking about world politics...

- Hey, have you heard anything new?
- Yeah, Ukraine is at war with Russia.
- What's the situation?
- Ukraine lost 2 million of it's citizens, Crimean Peninsula, several helicopters and other aircraft, great number of tanks and APCs, over 60 thousand soldier casualties so far, also, 2 states demand a separation.
- and the situation in Russia?
- Russia? Russia


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Old Brake Up


An elderly man and his wife decided to separate. Before being allowed to do so legally, the Family Court insisted they undergo some counseling from the marriage guidance mob, to see if their union could be saved.
The counselor did her best, but to no avail. The old folk were absolutely determined to go through with separation leading to divorce.
Finally, in some desperation,


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I slept with this bitch I picked up the other night.

Don't get me wrong, the sex was great... but she was acting really clingy and didn't want me to leave the next morning. I asked my buddy for some advice on how to deal her, and he said it's only natural. I guess most rescue dogs have really bad separation anxiety.

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I picked up this bitch off the street the other night.

The sex was great, but unfortunately she turned out to be real clingy, and wouldn't leave the next day. I asked my buddy Joe for some advice, he said "I don't know what to tell you, man. Most rescue dogs are known to have bad separation anxiety."

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Mickey, Minnie Goofy

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"


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