Secluded

Jokes

A child and a paedophile walk into a creepy, secluded forest.

The child says to the man “I’m scared”.
“You’re scared??? I have to walk back on my own!”

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An old man always leaves his fishing trips with tons of fish.

-my recently deceased grandpa told this all his life-


The game warden always asked him “How’d you catch so many fish?”

The old man would always say “Fisherman’s secret, can’t tell you.”

After about a year of asking, the old man finally agrees to take him fishing. As the two get in the boat, the warden notices t


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Environmentalists discover a secluded community where everybody recycles

r/Jokes

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Out of gas routine.

Guy pulls off to a secluded area a few miles from town.

His date looks at him and ask, " Your not going to pull that out of gas routine are you?

He says "No, I'm going to play the Here After Routine.

She looks a a little confused and ask "What's that"

He goes " If your not Here After what I'm Here After, th


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7 attractive men meet a German woman at a bar

They are incredibly drunk so they drag her out back to a secluded alley. The whole time shes screaming NEIN NEIN NEIN.

So they went and got 2 more guys.

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So I grew up next to this girl.

She lived in the next building over for the past couple years. She was pretty quiet, but listened to all my problems. Finally, we hooked up. One day, we went on a walk in a field next to the woods. There was a pretty secluded spot so we decided to have sex. I'm getting her from behind when suddenly her mom shows up behind us and says "Baaa"


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I was meeting up with my wife at a funeral...

...She kept teasing me with how perfect she looked. I couldn't help myself, and while nobody was looking, I took her to the most secluded area I could find.

As we started to do the diddle, as I like to call it, I whispered into her ear sexily...

"This would be so much better if you were alive..."


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A man was swimming in a lake

The lake was in a secluded area, so he decided to swim naked. It was pretty nice and refreshing. But suddenly, as he was swimming around, he felt a hand grabbing his balls and a voice said:

-Two more or two less?

The man, scared of losing both of his balls, said:

-Umm... Two more!

The next second, he had 4 testicles. He quickly got out of the lak


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Am I secluded?

That's my business.

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Bob walks into a metal bar...

... and he says, "Ow!" because his ears were not able to handle the intensity of the music due to Bob being secluded in the countryside his entire life.

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A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."


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If I had Unlimited resources..

I would adopt midget babies from different parts of the world, and raise them in a secluded plot of land somewhere and raise them to believe I am God. :)

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A priest and a rabbi are walking through a park...

A priest and a rabbi are walking through a park. They come to a secluded section and they notice a boy playing all by himself.

So the priest says "Shall we ~~fuck~~ adopt him?"

And the rabbi asks "Out of ~~what~~ the goodness in out hearts?"

________________________________
*Edited because of the deep, pervasive and intense shame I f


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A man has to pee...

But he is in the middle of Central Park. He finds what he believes is an out of the way spot, unzips, and does his thing.

To his surprise, the spot he chose was not very secluded, and before he can do anything about it, a woman walks right in front of him.

She shrieks and says, "Gross!"

"Danke schoen," he replies.


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3 men at the beach just hanging out when a hot girl approaches... (first attempt at le funnies)

Each man looks at the woman and are in awe at her beauty. She smiles at the man on the right and signals for him to follow her. She brings him to a secluded area and says "Fuck me right now". The man undresses and proceeds to have sex with the woman. Half way in, she looks at him and says "What are we going to name the baby?" The man runs away as quickly as possible.


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