Screening

Jokes

A pirate with a tumor goes to the doctor

Before his screening, he says to the doctor “aye doc, give it to me straight. Just tell me how bad it be on a scale of 1-10”

After the screening, the doctor goes to look at the results. Good news! His tumor isn’t harmful!

The doctor goes back into the pirate’s room smiling and says, “it’s benign!!”

The pirate begins t


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A booking error on the cinema website meant me amp my wife accidentally reserved only 1 seat for the advanced screening of the Elton John biopic "Rocketman"

She is sitting in seat 4C. I'm still standing.

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A man goes to the doctor for his checkup

A man goes to the doctor for his annual checkup. Being a certain age, the man is asked to do some cancer screening. With a sigh of resignation, he agrees to have a prostate exam.










The doctor performs the exam and everything is good. The doctor also gives him a suppository medication to take for a week, then the man is


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I applied for a job as a window installer.

Never made it past the screening questions.

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Everyone said I wouldnt make it, but I had my first screening today.

Stage four.

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Did you hear about the screening of that documentary movie on Menstrual cycle?

The audience gave it a standing ovulation.

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Its 421 and you know what that means.

Happy National “Random” Drug Screening Day.

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Anne Hathaway asked producers not to invite the smelly guy who had been stalking her to the screening of her movie

...but they did anyway because they wanted the opinion of the rank Anne-phile.

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Screening resumes like a boss......

[deleted]

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TIL Doctors can screen for STDs by placing a feather along the skin between the penis and the butthole.

Doctors don't use this screening method, however, because the test tickles.

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Our local cinema is putting on a screening of the new James Bond film especially for dyslexics.

Respect

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A blonde just came home after her, cancer screening.

[deleted]

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Year to date statistics

on Airport screening from the Department of Homeland Security

Terrorist Plots Discovered 0

Transvestites 133

Hernia’s 1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172

Enlarged Prostates 8,249

Breast Implants


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Year to Date...

Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the Department of Homeland Security

Terrorist Plots Discovered 0

Transvestites 133

Hernia’s 1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172

Enlarged Prostates 8,249


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I just passed my LSD screening test...

...with flying colours.

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Why was Obama so disappointed when he went to a screening of The Men Who Stare At Goats

Being a Muslim, he thought there would be more romance.

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