Mental illness joke. (I have this illness so I'm laughing at myself) I used to have a beautiful girlfriend who loved and cherished me before I got diagnosed with Schizophrenia
Then they put me on some pills and she disappeared
My roommate says I have schizophrenia
Jokes on him he's just a figment of my imagination
At first I thought I could handle being a police detective with schizophrenia
But now I'm starting to question myself.
My roommate says I have schizophrenia
But jokes on him I don't even have a roommate
Welcome to the Mental Health Helpline. Please listen carefully to the following options:
* If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please get someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personality disorder, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
* If you have Tourette's Syndrome, please say "CUNT!" after the tone.
* If you have schizophrenia, press whichever button the voice in your head tells you to pr
Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy? I hear you ask.
I have schizophrenia
& so do I!
The thing I like about the dark is
You could be standing in front of an axe murderer and not know it until you’re chopped up or you take your schizophrenia medicine.
The most effective way to kill your friends is....
So my wife says that I probably have schizophrenia.
Jokes on her, I don’t have a wife.
People tend to avoid me, since I have schizophrenia...
But at least I have each other.
What is schizophrenia?
I don't know, ask that Power Ranger over there.
What do you call it when pigs fly?
I used have schizophrenia
but now we've both recovered.
Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy,
I hear you ask”
I've been conducting studies of schizophrenic patients DNA to test various genes to find markers for schizophrenia
Unfortunately, the results have been all over the place.
My schizophrenia is balanced by my incredibly low self esteem
I mean, why would they choose to follow me?
I thought I had schizophrenia.
Turns out it was my wife saying: "You treat me like I don't exist."
Doc, is it true? Do I have schizophrenia?
Jim, who are you talking to?
What would you call yourself if you had schizophrenia?
A meme, a me and another me
My girlfriend thinks I have schizophrenia
Which is funny, because I don't have a girlfriend.
Laat year I was diagnosed with schizophrenia
But we're okay now.
My therapist says I have schizophrenia
Jokes on her I don't even have a therapist
There are two people in my class who have schizophrenia.
I’m kind of SPLIT on who to befriend.
My mother's sister is on heavy duty medication for schizophrenia.
I call her Aunty Psychotic.
Knock knock, whos there?
A joke for doing psychedelics. Or schizophrenia
When people speak to God it's called praying...
And when God speaks to you it's called schizophrenia.
Rose's are red, violets are blue
I have schizophrenia AND STOP YELLING AT ME!
What did the schizophrenia say to his girlfriend?
I'm seeing someone else
Schizophrenia is no joke
Alone, I'm a loser
But together, we have schizophrenia.
After years of research, scientists were ready to announce the cure for schizophrenia.
Things went south when they realized it was all in their heads.
I talked to my psychiatrist about how I think I have a schizophrenia...
That fucker was dead silent
A short poem about schizophrenia.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
And so am I.
Schizophrenia is ADHD on hard mode.
"2+2=..... stop whispering my name grandma! You've been dead for 20 years!"
My friend's a police detective and has been diagnosed with severe schizophrenia. He first realized there was a problem...
...when he started to question himself...
A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have?
I heard that schizophrenia Isnt real.
Or at least what my chairs been telling me.
Why do psychiatrists diagose schizophrenia so often?
Because they wanna charge twice.
The world would have seen fewer gods
if schizophrenia was recognised early on.
I went to an art event this morning, and this painting really SPOKE to me...
I then remembered that I forgot to take my schizophrenia medication.
A buddy of mine was making fun of people with schizophrenia. I said, "Hey man, that's not funny. Schizophrenics are people..
If you suffer from mental illness, it always helps to remember you are not alone.
Unless the mental illness is schizophrenia
When my girlfriend found out I had schizophrenia she started sleeping with other people...
When my girlfriend found out I had schizophrenia she started sleeping with...
Any subreddits to help you cope with schizophrenia?
Asking for a friend
What do you call it when you talk to God?
Now what do you call it when God talks to you?
Schizophrenia, it's called schizophrenia.
A silly little joke I just made up about schizophrenia
Person 1: I'm not schizophrenic!
Person 2: I never said you were.
Person 1: Oh, sorry, I guess I must be hearing things.
Did you hear about the guy who had ADD and schizophrenia?
He heard voices, but could never pay attention long enough to them to do anything crazy.