Savior

Jokes

What should YOU call a Christian who loves cheese and needs a savior

He’s a Christian in need of CHEESUS

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Who is the savior of Christians who love cheese?

CHEESUS

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Knock knock Hi, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?

“Yes”
.........
................

“Would you like to step inside?”
“I’m not sure, I’ve never made it this far”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What? Our Lord and Savior is masturbating?

Jesus fucking Christ.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Reporter 1: The cult members seem totally brainwashed, and still place their blind faith in a false savior offering hollow promises of salvation!

Reporter 2: And that concludes our report from the White House.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the catholic priest say to his lord and savior?

Thank you lord for the confession booth this makes my job a lot easier!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Despite what happened in Infinity War, I still worship Peter Quill.

He’s my Star-lord and savior.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Savior

Joseph: No rooms? Dude, she's about to give birth to humanity's savior!

Innkeeper: Sorry, we get really busy around Christmas time.

Joseph: Around _what_ time?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hey girl, are you Heaven?

Because I would confess all my sins and accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior just to get in you

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is blind people's savior?

The Holy braille

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A driver loses control of her car, sliding towards a concrete wall...

At the last moment, the companion on the front seat pulls the handbrake. The car turns around and stops inches from the wall.

The pale passengers from the backseats start to cheer their savior.

-Ah, no, honestly, you don't need to thank me. I'm not a driver! I'm a fighter-jet pilot, and in my plane this lever is for the catapult.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When I Was A Child I Wanted To Be The Savior Of The World. Then they told me that Jesus was the Son Of God

And I realized it's all who you know....

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

DING DONG!

Would you like to take the time to talk about our lord and savior?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Oh my good and fellow Christians! It has been foretold our Lord and savior will once again rise from the dead and bless us all this Easter!

April Fools!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How can you tell Jesus is Jewish?

He's known as "the savior" and not "the spender"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If I hear one more Christian demand I accept Jesus as my lord and Savior

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Little Jenny isn't a very good student

She gives an especially poor performance at religion classes. One day, the teacher asks Little Jenny a question.

'So Jenny, could you tell me who created the world?'

Little Jenny is thinking hard, but she doesn't really now the answer. Suddenly, Little Johnny who's sitting behind her stabs her with a needle.

'Dear God!' screams L


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I'm going to hell for this... But...

Cmon...Jesus was 33 and died without sin? One of his best friends was Mary Magdeline, a prostitute... I'm sure there was at least a pity handjob that was left out of the scriptures.

I guess that brings new meaning to the hymn that says "a savior has risen".

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I like my bacon like my lord and savior.

Crucified

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"Do you think our lord and savior ever masturbated?"

"Jesus fucking Christ..."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Church of latter day saints.

The other day I was stopped by a few guys from the Church of Latter Day Saints. They asked me "have you found our Lord the savior? I replied "Sorry, can't say that I have. Where was the last place you saw him?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Made up my own Chuck Norris knock knock joke.

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris who?

You know, Chuck Norris the kick ass movie and television actor. Do you have a moment to hear about our Lord and savior Jesus Christ?

No, fuck off.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Lord is my Savior

Father Jones was barely alive, clinging to the remaining wooden flanks of the sinking ship he was on. Rescue boats were busy rescuing other survivors in the ocean as soon as possible, but Father Jones wouldn't want any of that for himself. Being an ardent believer, he insisted *''Lord is my savior!''*, when a lifeboat came to rescue him. After almost an hour, another rescu


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Some jokes I made up! :D (Warning: Offensive)

What's a ticking timebomb? A Muslim with free speech,
What does an Arab gardener plant? Bombs,
Why do Muslims love hurting themselves? Because they love 911,
What's faster than a bullet? A Jew with a discount,
What do Russian Buddhists meditate on? Vodka bottles,
Who is fat people's lord and savior? Cheesus Stripes,
What day do Mexican plumbers c


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Knock knock

"who's there?"

"Do you know about our Lord and savior Jesus Christ?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I told my parents I'm getting a tattoo of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ dying for our sins upon the tree on my scrotum.

They called me sack-religious.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE