Ruth

Jokes

A group of girls named Karen, Jane and Ruth often hang out. What are Karen and Jane like by themselves?

Completely Ruthless

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My sister and I were watching a documentary about the notorious feminist icon Ruth Bader Ginsburg

At one point she said “I hope my hair is as pretty as hers at her age”

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A man named Dom murdered a woman named Ruth.

When in court, they asked him what his motive for killing her was. "Well," he replied, "I want this world to be more Ruth-less."

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A man named Dom murdered a woman named Ruth.

When in court, they asked him what his motive for killing her was. "Well," he replied, "I want this world to be more Ruth-less."

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Broke up with my girlfriend in the most savage way!

I'm Ruth-less.

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One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.

Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I've got Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."

"Yes", laughed the devil, "but I have all the umpires!”

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My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my motorcycle.

I rode in, ruthlessly.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas?

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

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An antique dealer met a jockey...

Her name was Ruth and she was working her antique store, which specialized in famous lighting fixtures from all over the world, when a small man walked through the door. He introduced himself as Bertram and told her he was a jockey. He was looking for an antique saddle or any other antique horse tack she might have in stock for his collection. Unfortunately, the antique dealer specialized in rare


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I had a discussion with Dr. Ruth the other day. . .

She told me, "It has been proven that 0% of women enjoy blowjobs."

I was incredulous and told her so.

She said, "It's true due to one simple fact. Women don't have penises."

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What does the Democratic Party and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg have in common

Their already dead.

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Every year in my school, each class is supposed to vote kick someone out.

In my class, it was pretty obvious who was getting kicked out. It was a girl named Ruth.

Ruth was that kid that exists in class but that’s about it. She barely talked, and when she does, it’d be one word answers. unsurprisingly, no one really liked her.

It was voting day and every single person in the class, including the teacher, picked Ruth without hesitati


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Good news Ruth Bader Ginsburg shows no evidence of cancer

...autopsy results revealed.

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Can a man give anything to a woman without her breaking it?

Ancient lizurd person and SCOTUS justice, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, breaks ribs in fall https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/supreme-court-justice-ruth-bader-ginsburg-hospitalized-with-fractured-ribs/2018/11/08/65c48a04-e360-11e8-8f5f-a55347f48762_story.html

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A sanguine tale

Jake and Ruth were blood analysts in a hospital. Given the proximity of the hospital to the highway, really gruesome motor accidents were quite common. So the hospital decided to house a huge supply of blood for emergencies, and these two were employed full time to analyse blood which they got, and discard unsuitable blood.

Put two young people in a room with a bunch of boring stuff,


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I used to be a really kind person, but since my girlfriend, Ruth, left me

I've been Ruthless

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Hillary calls Trump on the phone.

"I don't want to break bad news but Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died" she says "I'd like to take her place."
"Well Hillary, I think you're right." Trump responds. "I'll call the funeral home and arrange it."

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A young man is sitting at a bar when a frantic gentleman approaches him.

“RUTH, HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIFE RUTH?!”

The gentleman shook the young man by the shoulders.

“No sir, I haven’t. What does she look like?”

Asked the young man but by the time he could finish asking the frantic man runs out the doors yelling “HAS ANYONE SEEN MY WIFE RUTH?!” and takes off down the street.

The


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Mary and Ruth broke up.

Mary is now Ruthless.

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Ruth rode on my motorcycle, on the seat behind me...

I took a bump at 95, and rode on ruthlessly

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The Story of Ruth and Johnnie

Once upon a time...

Ruth and Johnny drove through the woods
To see what they could see.

The car hit a bump.
Then Ruth hit a tree.
But Johnny went on.

Ruthlessly.

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My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike.

I rode on, ruthlessly.

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This is a joke better spoken than written, but here goes anyway...

A guy walks into a bar with his dog. The bartender says, "We don't allow animals here. You're going to have to leave your dog outside." The guy replies, "No, you misunderstand. My dog can talk." Amused, the bartender tells the man that that's ridiculous and to leave his dog outside. The guy says, "Fine, let me prove it to you." He turns to his dog and a


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I finally snapped and killed my wife, Ruth.

I am Ruthless

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My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my motorcycle

I rode on, ruthlessly

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True Story..

So a girl named Ruth recently stopped working at our office.

I've been reffering to the office as "Ruthless" ever since.

Everyone hates me now... Probably because it's a terrible pun... Also, maybe, because she died.

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Chicken joke

Farmer wants to go to the movies, but they won't let him bring in his pet chicken. He goes around the corner, stuffs the chicken down his pants,goes in and sits down next to two old ladies, Ethel and Ruth.

After the movie starts, Ruth leans over to Ethel and says,"this man next to me just unzipped his pants!" Ethel says, "he probably just needs a little air down t


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A man claims to have a talking dog, and takes him to a talent agent.

The agent says, "Let's hear what he can do." So the man asks the dog,"What's the texture of concrete?" The dog says "Rough!" The agent says, "Try again."

The man asks the dog,"What's on top of a house?" The dog says "Roof!" The agent says, "This is nonsense. I don't have time for this." The man


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What was Babe Ruth called when he was in elementary school?

Childish Bambino

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What did they call Ruth Bader Ginsburg when she was 17?

Ruth Jail-Bader Ginsburg

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My friends Scott and Ruth broke up after a long-term relationship.

He's now ruthless and she got off, scott free.

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Ruth is the only person that i show mercy to

If i didn't have her, I'd be completely Ruthless

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The Pope, the President of Mexico, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg walk into a meeting. One by one, they apologize.

[deleted]

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What are Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Theresa May doing in a room together?

...playing bridge.

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What do Leonardo Dicaprio Babe Ruth have in common?

They both won when neither of them were competing against black people!

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I'm the Babe Ruth of the toilet

I always get the runs

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Ruth rode on my cycle car, on the seat in back of me.

[deleted]

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After Babe Ruth died, the world became ruthless.

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I texted my girlfriend Ruth and told her it was over.

I'm Ruthless.

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I broke up with my girlfriend, Ruth.

I broke it off with her over the phone. Some would say that I'm Ruthless.

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Sweet Baby Ruth.

It was another Payday and I was tired of being Mr. Goodbar.

I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"

Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Jo


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I dumped my girlfriend, Ruth, the other day.

I told myself I'm just gonna be Ruthless in love from now on.

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OC: What does Babe Ruth and roughly 100,000 antelopes have in common?

They're both ballpark figures.

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A man and his dog go into a talent agent's office

"Boy, is it your lucky day!" the man says. "I have here a dog that can talk!"

The agent raises an eyebrow. "He can talk, huh? Alright, let's see what he can do."

The man excitedly pats the dog on the head and leans down. "Okay, Buster. What's above our heads? Speak!"

"ROUF!" the dog barks.


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Ruth wasn't invited to the party.

The people at the party were ruthless.

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Party Joke

Ruth wasn't invited to the party. The party was ruthless.

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Babe Ruth Walks Into a Bar

Bartender says "Why the Long Balls?

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Ruth and Johnny

Ruth and Johnny, side by side, went out for an auto ride. They hit a bump, Ruth hit a tree, Johnny kept going Ruthlessly.

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Johnny and Ruth are mountain biking down a hill...

...Ruth hits a tree. Johnny continues, ruthlessly.

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A Joke for everyone who isn't called Richard

Was chatting to a lovely Blonde the other day, Ruth she said her name was.

When she asked my name I said ‘Jason, but everyone calls me Dick for short’

‘How do you get Dick from Jason’ she asked

I replied ‘Ask nicely!’

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