What's the difference between tisane and having sex with a Thai woman?

Tisane isn't ruined by herbals.

What's a 6.9?

Another good thing ruined by a period.

A friend of mine got caught masturbating in the showers

That ruined our trip to Auschwitz - Jimmy Carr

Really offensive.

A mate of mine got caught wanking in the showers. It really ruined the trip to Auschwitz.

My father in law just accidentally ruined my brother in law's cigar by sitting on it

Close butt, no cigar

I got to be the DJ at my uncle's wedding

Apparently, having "I Love Little Girls" by Oingo Boingo play ruined the mood for everybody.

They say masturbation is better with a dead arm.

Apparently I ruined that funeral.

Everyone at the restaurant we were dining at were disgusted when they found out I was 45 and my wife was 20...

It completely ruined our ten year anniversary.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the exonomy they ruined

Why Are The Led Zeppelin And The Beatles ruined music?

They started rock / hard rock

So there I was fingering my sisters pussy

And then my sister walked in on me and her cat and totally ruined the moment.

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

I got in trouble at high school for masturbating in the showers...

Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.

Terrible OC Two fish, Susan and Steve, were on a fish-date

The evening water was glistening and the skies above hadn't a single cloud. Suddenly a huge bolt of lightning flashed above them and illuminated what felt like the whole ocean. Susan, being terrified, screamed,

"Steve! Let's get out of here, you and I both know we can't survive a lightning strike!"

Steve replied,

"Silly Susan,

---

What can you say to both someone Who has diarrhea and someone Who had ruined their life

Get your shit together

The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise

but the fire trucks ruined it.

I went to the kitchen last night for some midnight cookies

As soon as I got downstairs I heard my mom and stepdad having loud sex.

I ran back upstairs and threw my headphones off to try and forget what I just heard.

The next day I confronted my stepdad and told him that he ruined my snack

He said "yeah well you ruined mine too!"

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

I got caught masturbating in the shower.

It totally ruined the school field trip to Auschwitz.

Pawpaw wakes up one Sunday morning

And decides to mow the yard.

He grabs a beer, goes to the garage and fires up the ride along lawn mower.

Pawpaw is cruising the yard in pure beer bliss when a cat runs right in front of his mower, causing him to jump and spill his beer on himself.

"Damned cat! Lucky I didn't run ya over!"

Pawpaw keeps on mowin.

A few m

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When I was a teen, Michael Jackson completely ruined me

He told to "beat it" and that's why I never had a girlfriend

Im sure you know what a 69 is, but do you know what a 6.9 is?

A good thing ruined by a *period*

Im 45 years old and dating a 22 year old...

Everyone at the restaurant called me a pedo.

Totally ruined our 10 year anniversary.

Whats the problem with the number 6.9

It’s another great thing ruined by a period :)

I’m sorry, I had to, it’s a special day today.

My uncle got his fender ruined in a hit-and-run

He’s in jail now.

Im furious. My holiday is ruined! Ive decided to sue the airline that lost my luggage.

My lawyer said that I don’t have a case.

If I had a dollar for every time Someone over 40 told me my generation sucks..

Then I could afford the house in the economy they ruined.

TIFU by telling my wife that she ruined our marriage

We were having dinner together when I wanted her to pass the potato salad. I wanted to say; Honey can you pass the potato salad. But instead I said, "Fuck you Karen for ruining our marriage."

If I had a dollar for every time somebody over forty told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house and car in the economy they ruined

My wife is angry at me because I peed in the shower

She said that I “ruined her bubble bath”

If I had a dollar for every time someone over the age of 40 told me my generation suckes

I'd have enough money to buy a house in the economy they ruined

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

What does the Italian soldier say to the gardener that just ruined his lawn?

Its Apache

Want to hear my joke about the Notre Dame?

Actually you wouldn't, I kinda ruined it trying to fix it.

God ruined the perfect asshole...

when he gave Trump a set of teeth.

Adolf Hitler and my wife have the same birthday. It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people...

Shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler.

6.9

6.9

Just another number ruined by a period

What is 6.9

A good thing ruined by a period.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks....

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

A mans car womt run, so he takes it to the mechanic...

Mechanic: you used subpar fuel wich corroded your injectors and intake manifold.

Man: english please?

Mechanic: low quality gas ruined your engine.

Man: dumb it down for me, im not a rocket scientist.

Mechanic: bad go-go juice make your vroom vroom machine all fucky.

Man: well shit now i understand.

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My love life is a lot like an old ruined calendar

I can't find a date.

What is 6.9?

A really great thing ruined by a period.

What's so unique about 6.9?

It's a good thing ruined by a period.

Last night, I tried one of those old tricks where you light your farts on fire.

I couldn't find a lighter, so I used a candle...

Completely ruined my kid's birthday cake!

I was vacationing with some friends, and they got mad at me because I was masturbating in the shower

They said I ruined the entire Auschwitz tour

What does 6.9 mean?

Just another good thing ruined by a period.

My dad removed a giant spider from my room while i was away from the house.

He ruined my chances of being Spiderman

Girls are like insurance companies

The minute you stop paying them your whole future is ruined

2 men walk into a restaurant

One of the guys go hey Jeff have you see my hat god dammit Kevin you ruined my joke what how i am using a microphone to type in my words well why dont you just type because duck you thats why go to bell Jeff no wait Kevin i

Whats wrong with 6.9?

It’s a good thing ruined by a period