Rolling

Jokes

Relatives are a lot like Slinky

It's very funny to see them rolling down the stairs when you push them.

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What do you call 100 sheep rolling down a hill?

A lambslide.

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Brown Sugar by The Rolling Stones

Translation: Brown pussy is confusingly tasty and to this day people don't know why.

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I recently overcame an addiction to rolling around in mud

I've been clean for 6 months

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How does Harry potter prefer to get down a hill?

walking

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jk rolling

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Its a boy! I shouted, with tears rolling down my face. Its a boy! I dont believe it!

And it was at that point that I resolved never to visit Thailand again.

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-What's Harry Potter's best way of moving?

It's running.

JK Rolling

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How does Harry Potter go down a hill?

Walking...



JK Rolling

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This old man kept rolling out of bed every night.

So his wife got him some Viagra.

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If something is meant to stay in one spot but it keeps rolling around...

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My girlfriend asked me to stop singing Rolling Stones songs.

I told her - you can't always get what you want.

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What would happen if Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US?

He’d be rolling in his grave.

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Breaking news: some teens were caught smoking a drug called the alphabet

they were caught rolling their i's.

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Couches are like cars.

The longer they last rolling down the freeway, you become more confident that your new purchase was a good choice.

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Wife: it's been 10 years that you've been obsessed with Rick rolling and Rick Astley. I'm leaving you.

Me: Please don't I'll stop.

Wife: Do you promise this time?

Me: I'm never gonna let you down.

Wife: Goodbye.

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What's Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking.
JK Rolling

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Whats Harry Potters favorite way of getting down the hill?

Walking

JK Rolling

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What's Indiana Jones least favorite band?

The Rolling Stones

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"It's a boy!" I shouted, tears rolling down my face. "I don't believe it. A boy!"

At that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again.

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A baker I know got rich by accident and now hes rolling in dough.

No bun intended

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I really hope Snoop Dogg is still alive when pot finally becomes legal in the US.

Otherwise he’ll be rolling in his grave.

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Why did someone copy the wheel-rolling competition?

Needless to say, it was a spin-off.

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What is the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone.

A Rolling Stone says "Hey you, get off of my cloud!", while a Scotsman says "Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!"

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If Newton heard us describing people "rolling in their grave" without a net force acting on them...

... He'd be rolling in his grave.

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"IT'S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!"

It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.

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If the Rolling Stones sing "hey, you, get offa my cloud!", what do the Scots sing?

"Hey, MacLeod, get offa my ewe."

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"IT'S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.

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What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?

A Dell - Rolling In The Deep

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What is Harry Potters favorite method of getting down a hill?

Walking.

JK, Rolling.

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A mass shooter kills dozens of old people at a nursing home

Rolling Stone: “A tall handsome blue-eyed angel euthanizes elders at a nursing home”

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A man heard a voice in his head

A man came hime from work and was tired. As he was falling asleep, he heard a voice in his head. "Quit your job, sell your house, take the money and go to Vegas". He didn't think much of it and just went to sleep.

The next few days, he heard the same voice in his head say the same thing. "Quit your job, sell your house, take the money and go to Vegas." This t


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The rolling stone

So a boulder rolling down a cliff notices a rock rolling down the same cliff and the rock asks- what are you doing? and the bolder says I’m a rolling bolder what are you doing?

And the rock says oh I’m a rolling stone.

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Yesterday, I called a local radio station to request "I'm Free" by The Rolling Stones. However, they played a song of the same title by The Who.

You can't always get what you want.

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The other day i saw Michael Jackson rolling down a hill

Filthy nonse

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Listening to the Rolling Stones seems to be influencing my subconsicous.

I had a dream last night that I was piloting a plane,

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What's Harry Potters favourite way to go down a hill?

Walking...

Jk Rolling

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I can't believe marijuana is still illegal in Jamaica

Bob Marley must be rolling in his grave.

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Can you believe marijuana is still illegal in Jamaica?

Bob Marley must be rolling in his grave.

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This works better verbally, but what the hell...

Me: With all of the labels and rules changing lately, I just want you to know that yes, I am a trans woman. Please use 'she' and 'her' pronouns for me.

Him: Sure thing, baby girl.

Me, rolling eyes: I am also bi-sexual.

Him: So that means....?

Me: It means you have to pay me.


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The whale jizz on my doorstep

5 years ago on this very night, I found a jar of whale jizz on my doorstep. It was beaten and injured, it needed my help. I nursed it back to health and raised it like my own son. Today it finally graduated from university and I was just so proud. It looked at me and said "Thank you, for everything." I looked back at it with a single tear rolling down my cheek "You're whale cum


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What do you call it when a guy throws hes laptop in the ocean

Adele, rolling in the deep

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How do Oedipus and Sisyphus greet each other?

- Yo, rolling stone!

- Yo, motherfucker!

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Why did Mick Jagger stay clean even after a year in the forest?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no moss.

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How do you tell the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheepherder?

The Roling Stones sing this song, "Hey You, Get Off of My Cloud". A Scottish shepherd can be he heard hollering out across the glen, "Hey McLeod..."!

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The year is 2100. Earth has been ravaged by a variety of natural and man-made disasters. All the flatlands are now seabeds after the ice caps have melted. Most of the planet's land is barren wasteland. Barely any oxygen is produced, and most animal life has died out.

All you can hear is cockroaches and The Rolling Stones 2100 Tour.

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It's all right to tell jokes about the Rolling Stones.

In fact, it's a gas.

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If Snoop Dogg dies before pot is legal in the United States,..

..He will be rolling in his grave.

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What's Harry Potter's favourite way of getting down a hill?

Walking...
JK Rolling...

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Hey man, did I tell you I saw the author of Harry Potter when I was on ecstasy last night?

J.k. ... Rolling

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What was Jesus' favorite beer?

Rolling Rock

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