Rocky

Jokes

My son dropped his ice cream cone on the sidewalk.

I picked it up, gave it back to him and said "Don't worry, now it's Rocky Road!"

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So how does it feel being made up of ice cream?

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A plane crashes going over the Rocky Mountains and only two guys survive.

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What is large and rocky at the bottom, small and snowy at the top and has ears?

Give up? A mountain.

Yeah but what about the ears?

You never heard of mountaineers?

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Rocky has broken his leg and his buddy Bob comes over to see him.

Bob: How are you doing?

Rocky: Fine. Hey, do me a favour.. Go upstairs and get me my slippers. My feet are freezing!

Bob goes upstairs and sees Rocky's hot twin sisters lying on the bed.

Bob: your brother sent me up two have sex with you girls..

Twins: Prove it!

Bob (Shouting): Hey Rocky.., both of them ??

Rock


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Rocky better get out of jail...

...A$AP.

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During his physical examination, a doctor asked a man about his physical activity level.

He described a typical day this way:


"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles.
I got sand in my shoes and my eyes.
I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills.
I took a few 'leaks' behind


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Never go camping with a stoner.

Things might get a little rocky.

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Never go camping with a stoner.

Things might get a little rocky.

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During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level.

The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week, in the outdoors.

"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical;
I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain.

I waded along the edge of a lake.

I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles.

I got sand in my shoes and my eyes.

I barely avoided stepping


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Rocky Balboa had the eye of the tiger...

...and a lifetime ban from the Philadelphia zoo.

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Im clumsy, so my my job at the tripwire and claymore testing company had a rocky start

But i think i finally found my feet

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I once had a disabled friend.

He was missing both his legs and arms. And one eye as well. He only had one passion in life- TRAVELING!
One day his parents took him to the Rocky Mountains in a plastic bag. The bag ripped apart and he fell down. Ever since then he has been referred to as Rockefeller.

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What caused the ice cream truck to break down?

a rocky road

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Had a conversation with a Miner about the effects it had on the environment.

The conversation got rocky.

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My name is Afterhim because my father was a big fan of Rocky Balboa

So he decided to name me after him

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Why is Rocky so relaxed before his fights?

Because he's good at beating the meat.

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If life were an ice cream flavour

It’d be rocky road.

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Why was the Ice cream truck ride bumpy?

Cause of the rocky road

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Bad Dad Joke:

Q: Did you hear two University Geologists broke off their engagement?

A: the relationship was rocky from the start

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Making Rocky Mountain Oysters is tough work

It takes balls.

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Saw Creed II the other day

I say it’s a mostly solid movie. But it’s was a bit rocky in some parts more than others

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Id would love to show you my Sylvester Stallone impression

But it’s really Rocky.

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What did the wife boulder say to her husband boulder when she wanted a divorce?

It’s been a rocky relationship, I think it’s time we broke up.

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Honey, you remind me of Venus

"Wow! You think I am a goddess?"

"No, you're just a small rocky cunt"

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I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts

I won't lie, it was a Rocky Road.

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What did the Angry Video Game Nerd do at the San Diego Zoo after playing Rocky on the Sega Master System?

he took a bath in elephant feces!

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Honey, you remind me of Venus

"Wow! Thanks dear, I'm glad you appreciate my beauty!"

"Well, you are the hottest one around. But I think you're just a rocky cunt"

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs inside a quarry?

Rocky!

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs inside a quarry?

Rocky!

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs inside a quarry?

Rocky!

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My friend met an actor who'd been in a boxing movie whose career started off pretty rocky.

They told me they’d expected him to be a little more rambo-nctious but he just seemed really stallonely.

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If a cow's balls are known as Rocky Mountain Oysters, what are cow's vaginas known as?

Rocky Mountain Clams

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Ever since my dad started dating medusa

Our relationship has been pretty rocky lately

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Lena Dunham and her sister might get along now

but as kids things between them were a little rocky.

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I named my strap on Lil' Rocky

Cause I'm gonna need a heavy weight champ to help me go beat some ass.

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I named my penis Lil' Rocky...

Cause I need a heavy weight champ to help me go beat some ass.

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Kanye West walks into an ice cream parlor...

...and asks for a waffle cone with two flavors.

“Sure,” the employee says. “What’ll you have?”

Kanye thinks for a moment.

“I’ll have a ***POOPITY-SCOOP*** of rocky road, and a *** SCOOP-DIDDY-WHOOP*** of vanilla, please.”

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Everyone loves a good comeback story, like Rocky or RDJ.

Hell, even Kim Kardashian. In the video, she got cum on her back. I think.

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Why did the ice cream truck break down?

Because of the rocky road.

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What's big, old, and Rocky?

Sylvester Stallone

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I refer to my ex girlfriend as Sylvester Stallone

She has a rocky past

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Son: I just found out what Rocky mountain oysters are

Dad: I know, it's nuts

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An Italian stallion was tripping down a old bumpy road.


When a woman drove past. A little while later she thought: " Well, that certainly was Rocky. "

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John Denver really got Rocky Mountain High

When he flew his plane into a mountain.

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Greg goes to get a physical

During his physical, the doctor asked his patient (Greg) about his daily activity level.

Greg responded: '"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and t


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I have a pet rock

His name is Rocky...

He has some friends

Their names are Rocky II, Rocky III, etc

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Full roasted chicken

Its a full crowd at the bar the place is abuzz. Santa Singh walks in sits down at a table and orders a full roast chicken.
Suddenly someone rushes in and yells “Rocky is coming!”
The customers all stop what they are doing, drop their glasses and drinks and begin to rush out, except Santa who patiently waits at his table. A waiter hurriedly places the full roasted chicken o


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Everyone knows the muffin man lives down Drury Lane.

But did you know the ice cream man lives down Rocky Road?

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A dad and his son are peeing off a bridge.

The son says, "the water sure is cold today."

And the dad replies, "yeah, and the riverbed sure is rocky."

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