Rocket

Jokes

I'm not saying I'm a billionaire, but whenever I see young trapped Thai boys

my first instinct is to prepare my rocket submarine to enter their tight cave.

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How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket

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How hard is the homework in aerospace engineering?

It’s rocket science!

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I hate rocket jokes...

...They always go over my head.

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How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket

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There's nothing more annoying than people who get their sayings wrong.

I mean, it's not rocket salad.

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Star-lord, Rocket, Gamora, Drax theyre all good and fun characters but Groot is the real star of the movies

He should really branch out

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The Russians made a rocket launcher

They called it a bacyka

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Why cant I do this math? Its not rocket surgery!

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The Future of E-Scooters

The next iteration of dockless, phone-activated micromobility devices — those modern miracles of transportation you can ride and park literally anywhere you want — will be a liquid-fuel rocket.

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The name of the brand, of course, will be ROCKET.

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To ride a ROCKET, riders will straddle the warhead between


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Which rocket is best for getting rid of people?

Dis Missle

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Two priest's were taking a piss...

...in the urinals one day and the one priest looks down and see's a nicotine patch on the other guy's dick.

He says, "I'm not really a rocket scientist or anything, but, isn't that supposed to be on your arm?"

And the other priest goes, "Nah, it's working fine. I'm down to two butts a day"


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How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket.

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Went to see the new Elton John movie Rocket Man

only way to enter the cinema was via the rear entrance,

a request of Elton apparently.

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What is Kim Jong Uns favorite game to play?

Rocket League

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Elon Musk recently is involved in a scandal of stretching out rocket materials wrongly.

The name of the scandal? Elongate.

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Did you hear about the manned rocket that crashed shortly after launching from Alabama?

All the system warnings went off, but for some reason the pilot could not abort.

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I made a group for rocket scientists once

It really took off

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What do Jewish rocket scientists eat for breakfast?

Bagels and LOX.

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Why shouldnt you go to the bathroom with Team Rocket around?

Because they might take a Pikachu!

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"Been arrogant is like been an elephant in Africa, if you get hit by a rocket launcher you die" Albert Einstein (2042-1999)

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Who is Elton Johns favorite Guardian of the Galaxy?

Rocket, man!

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Why doesnt Elton John eat Iceberg lettuce?

Because he is a Rocket man.

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Smartphones today are a lot more powerful than the computers Apollo had when it landed on the moon

Guess you could say I have a rocket in my pocket

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Why did NASA cancel the all-female spacewalk?

None of them would go outside the rocket wearing the same outfit.

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The year: 2029. A brilliant scientist is constructing the first sentient artificial intelligence.

He's working out of his garage in San Francisco, living on charitable donations from his worried friends. He dropped out of college when he realized he could change the world — there's no going back; his life is dedicated to this project. At first, he is met with failure upon failure. But then, he realizes he has nothing to lose and everything to gain. His name will be in the histo


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If a snowman is a body of water, then a fireman is a body of fire,

and then a rocketman is a body of rocket, finally an ironman is a body of iron.

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After the birth of their 9th child, a redneck couple decided they'd had enough because they couldnt afford a larger bed.

The husband went to the veterinarian and asked to be snipped. "Me'n my cousin don't want no more kids"

The vet told him he could get a vasectomy, but it was expensive. "There is a cheaper option," said the vet. "Go home, find yourself a cherry bomb, light it up and put it in a Coors Lite can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."


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We should stop making fun of the Americans for using inches, foot, miles, etc as units of measurements.

it's not like they crashed a rocket into Mars because of this. oh wait...

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My friend told me that his DIY liquid rocket made it to space...

I told him to quit being hypergolic.

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What's Kim Jong-un's favourite vegetable?

Rocket.

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What did the soviet rocket say as it took off?

Soyuz guys later

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Why are my jokes like a bad rocket?

They never seem to set off.

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Do you want to hear a joke about the Israeli army?

 "A young soldier is asked: 'If you see 20 terrorists, what would you do?'"

"'I would take an Uzi and shoot them.' 'Good.' 'What if a tank was coming at you?' 'I would take a rocket launcher and defend myself,'" Putin continued. 

"'And what if you see planes, tanks and terrorists tog


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How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket.

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We could build a rocket on Australia and let it fall into space

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I have absolute confidence in Jeff's Bezos rocket company Blue Origin

Jeff has already achieved good separation.

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What's the difference between the ISS and ISIS?

With ISS a rocket gets you there, but with ISIS a rocket gets you here.

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What do you call an instigated rocket?

An inclination of 1080p liftoff.

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What do you do when Team Rocket stops breathing?

You give them Meowth to Meowth.

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What does the rocket booster tell to the rocket when it is decoupled?

"We cannot be together anymore, you have lost my thrust"

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If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I?

A high explosive rocket sitting in an RPG-7. Let's go share the joys of explosives with the enemies of the state, da comrade?

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Name a drink that's like having sex on the space shuttle.

Fucking close to rocket fuel.

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How do NASA organize rocket launches

They planet

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How do rocket scientists reproduce?

Well, it's not fucking rocket science.

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Where did elon musk launch his falcon 9 rocket ship?

into uranus

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My 5 year old just told me: what's the opposite of a snot rocket?

A booger submarine.


Idunno.

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Whats Elon Musks favorite vegetable?

Rocket leaves

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Elton John famously detests ice burg lettuce

He's more of a Rocket Man

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How do you get an Alien Baby to sleep?

You rocket.

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