Reveal

Jokes

A newspaper boy knocks on a woman's door to collect his money

The woman answers the door wearing a very sheer negligee. He asks for his two dollars and she says she has no cash on her, but maybe they can work something out.

The newspaper boy sighs and unzips his pants to reveal an 9 inch cock. They get down to business but the newspaper boy is only putting a few inches in her with every stroke.

The woman says "It's okay,


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If magicians can't reveal their secrets, how do we get new magicians?

By magic!

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On their wedding night, a groom has a confession to make.

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The recent mass shootings reveal that our gun control laws are too strict.

Nobody shot back.

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A man is getting married, and wants to impress his bride to be.

So he gets her name, Wendy, tattooed down the side of his shaft. Her keeps it a surprise for the honeymoon as it heals and is quite impressed with the work. Although when he's flaccid all you can see is Wy, when he's there it is, in all its Glory, in a beautiful font. The big day comes, and they step off the plane in Jamaica headed to the resort. He heads to the bathroom at the airport b


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Boy: What's your age?

Girl: We don't reveal our age to boys.

Boy: OK, what's your email address?

Girl: karentrigger_1988@gmail.com

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A new study shows that 80 of people can't avoid click bait and this one thing will reveal if you are one of them.

You are not.

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Did you guys see the new Apple computer reveal?

It’s the most expensive Mac and cheese you can ever get.

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Did you guys see the new Apple computer reveal?

It’s the most expensive Mac and cheese you can ever get.

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While Jesus is waiting for the right time to reveal himself he does in fact have a job.

As a writer at the onion.

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I went to a gender reveal party.

It wasn't quite what I thought it would be.

My host told me to put my pants back on and get the hell out of there.

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Three guys die and go to hell LONG

Satan meets them for orientation. He asks the first one "What was your favorite sin in life?" He replies "It would have to be booze, I stayed drunk all the time." So Satan leads him to a door and opens it to reveal a giant room containing acres of every type of alcoholic drink imaginable; beers, whiskeys, rum, vodka, wine, etc. "Very well," Satan says. "You&


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I think being required to reveal STDs is a great idea

This way, I don't need to spend money on tests.

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Jim the security Guard is working at the MexicanAmerican border, and stops a car at a checkpoint.

The driver shows the guard his license, visa, and passport, but is clearly nervous and is sweating bullets. Jim pops the trunk open to reveal four large bags. He opens them, only to reveal that each and everyone of them is filled with dirt.

​

One week later, Jim stops the same driver. Once again, the driver has all the proper documentation, put is clearly n


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There was a really unlucky man called Bob...

He was so unlucky that he was born with only one testicle!

One day, he decided to buy a plane ticket and go visit his aunt and uncle. He boarded the plane and started to watch the view.

Mid-flight, they went through a horrible turbulance and the captain came out to announce that one of the engines failed so they needed to throw someone off the plane with their baggage. T


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The first picture of a black hole was taken today

Scientists reveal all they had to do was tale a picture of yo momas anus

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Went to a gender reveal and everyone started screaming at me

I didn’t know we were revealing the gender of the baby so I put my clothes back on and went home

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There are 2 steps to being successful

1. Do not reveal everything you know.

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The ElePhantom of myOpia

This is a joke for anyone who is sick of "that guy" and the group of people who I'll talk about it but won't say anything.


That guy could be a storyteller, conspiracy theorist. one upper, a political activist, a religious extremist, or just a jerk who could benefit from you forcing his friends to be better people.

The goal is to sacrifice this


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When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 of their body...

i am so polite i only look at the covered parts.

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The JK in JK Rowling stands for Just kidding...

Don't worry guys. She's just waiting for April to reveal that it was all just a prank.

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Gender reveal party: A celebration where family, guests and expecting parents gather together to reveal the sex of the baby.

If only I had Googled this before turning up at my boss’s house with a bottle of wine and my cock out.

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Hormones

A woman approaches her doctor and says “I have to talk to you about these hormone shots.”

Her doctor says “What's the problem?”

She says “I'll show you.” She opens her shirt to reveal hair covering her chest all down between her breasts down to her stomach.

Doctor says “Oh my how far down does that go?&rdquo


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There are two rules for success

1. Don't reveal everything you know
2.

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A man walks into a bar in New Orleans

He sits down next to a man in a jacket. Both of them are watching a preview of the upcoming nfc championship. They both start debating over who will win, and the debate turns into an argument. The man says “100 bucks my saints win!” “Your on” replied the man as he unzipped his coat to reveal black and white stripes. “Good luck I got a game to ref” replies the re


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The president of America, the president of Russia, and the Queen of England are playing cards.

Elizabeth the Second lays a full house and sips daintily upon a cup of tea. A Russian agent puts a finger to his ear momentarily and approaches the table with a sleek briefcase, which Putin opens to reveal a marvelous hand. Donald then smiles and shows five trump cards.

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At a gender reveal party, a box is lifted to reveal a glass of water.



The crowd goes wild and break
into a thunderous applause.

The gender is fluid.

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3 old ladies are in a park

Three elderly grey ladies are sitting on a bench feeding birds in the park. Suddenly, a man runs in front of them and whips open his trench coat, to reveal he's wearing nothing underneath!

Astonished at the exposure the first Lady has a stroke. The second Lady has a stroke.

And

Sadly

the third old lady couldn't quite reach.


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Three little old ladies in the park.

Three elderly grey ladies are sitting on a bench feeding birds in the park. Suddenly, a man runs in front of them and whips open his trench coat, to reveal he's wearing nothing underneath!

Astonished at the exposure the first Lady has a stroke. The second Lady has a stroke.

And

Sadly

the third old lady couldn't quite reach.


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A dark brown man covered in body hair.

The first thing you notice is his smell. Curry and poo. He has a skinny frame, oily skin and hair. Slimy. Oozing curry and poo from his pores. A thing pathetic mustache. Pitiful. He pulls down his pants to reveal a small penis surrounded by a mane of smelly greasy pubic hair. He turns around and I see his buttocks smiling at me. His butt is covered in more coarse hair, black. Small cheeks. He be


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A man, his wife, and his friend are running from zombies during the apocalypse.

After hours of running they finally find shelter in a old pub they used to frequent, before the world was ending.

They begin scouting for supplies when the man notices blood on his wife's shirt.

"Honey, what is that there, on your clothes?" he asks her.

"Nothing!" she says quickly and turns away.

The man stops her and pul


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Forgot Password?

Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large publicly held company.


Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.
<


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LPT: Need to know what someone is getting your for Christmas? Hang around while they surf Facebook and take note of the ads that display. They will reveal all.

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Holmes and Watson are out hunting one day. John spies something moving in the bushes, and with practiced aim, levels his rifle and fires. They pull aside the brush to reveal a severed leg, with a clean bullet wound just below the ankle.

“Watson!” Holmes cries out. “The game’s afoot!”

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With the way women are acting these days, I think gender reveal parties are going to be less popular.

"Father reveal parties" are going to be the next trend.

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Gender reveal parties are all the craze now

My parents are doing one next week. I'll be 30 then and they reckon I've had enough time to decide what gender I'm going to be.

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Why did God reveal himself as a flaming bush to Moses?

...You're not supposed to question the Bible, hell-bound infidel!!

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How did God reveal himself to you?

"Concentually"

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A tenured math professor handed out the blue books for an exam.

Considering he's given a variation of this test over the past 15 years, he didn't expect any surprises. As usual, all the students finished within the hour.

While grading the tests later that day, he came across an unusual response. As he opened the front cover, a $100 bill fell out to reveal the following note: "one dollar for every point".

The next d


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Trying to find Elon might become a scandal soon.

Just reveal yourself so we don't have to Elongate this.

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With their new social credit system, the Chinese government might as well have a get-together at the end of every month to reveal the "Citizen of the month"

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When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 of their body...

men are so polite they only look at the covered parts

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I found upvote hack

Give me 10 upvotes and I will reveal how to do

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What is up with these dumb gender reveal parties?

It’s either going to be a boy or a girl 50/50.


Unless you believe in that other shit, in that case it could be an Apache Attack Helicopter

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TIL that comparative brain scans of elephants reveal that they find humans to be "adorable".

I mean, your mom told me I was sexy, but I didn't realize that it was a biological reaction.

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Why dont you drink universal indicator?

Because it’ll reveal how basic you are.

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We reveal the correct pronounciation of "EU"

Eww...

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Fact

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies...... Men are so polite that they only look at the covered parts!

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At my friend's gender reveal party last night

They told me to put my pants back on.

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Gets pulled over

Cop: Do you know how fast you were growing?

Me: Officer, I wa-wait did you just say growing?

Cop: *removes mask to reveal grandma* You’ve gotten so big

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