Did you hear about that group of restless cyber monday TVs?
They were ADHD.
What do you call a restless tree with nothing to say?
No calm ent...
A women wants to surprise her husband so she visits a sex shop
And asks for something special for her husband. The owner says that he has a one of a kind frog that gives the best blowjobs a men can ask for.
She buys the frog and in the evening surprises her husband.
"I got you this frog as a present"
The husband is perplexed:
"Why did you buy me a frog? What am I supposed to do with it?
ADHD in just-hatched chicks is also known as ...
Restless Egg Syndrome
A man is suffering from restless leg syndrome
After countless unsuccessful medical treatments he becomes discouraged thinking he will never be able to enjoy a good night's sleep due to the overwhelming tingling sensations he experiences through his legs at night.
Having exhausted every other option, he decides to try his luck with a witch doctor. He explains his symptoms to the witch doctor, and the doctor simply replies:<
Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?
Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.
The compassionate hitman
There was a hitman who was a sniper. His boss gave him a contract to kill a target. He told him to perch on a roof with his partner, scope, and snipe to out the target. So the sniper and his partner waited on the roof and the scoper noticed that the sniper started to get restless. The scoper said "Hey what's the matter with you, why are you so restless?" The sniper replied "I
They make a pill for everything except...
There's a pill for erectile dysfunction, a pill for ADD, a pill for hair loss and one for not getting pregnant. There's a pill to put you to sleep and one to wake you up, there's a pill for restless legs and one to make you happy. There's even a pill to help you lose weight (more than a few, actually); so what I want to know is: why can't they make a pill to fix stupid?