# Relativity

# Jokes

**An Alabama professor was teaching about the theory of relativity when suddenly he fell asleep**

He was sleeping with the relatives.

**I can solve traffic congestion using Special Relativity!**

Just name every road Mass Ave.

**Perplex Numbers**

I was talking to my physics professor the other day, and some theoretical work he did with tachyons came up. A tachyon travels faster than light, and in order to use some of the math from special relativity, one had to define what he called "perplex numbers"--numbers with negative absolute value. He said that since we can talk about complex numbers in terms of the imaginary unit i, we c

**For my PhD thesis, I wanted to write the best researched paper about General Relativity**

But I ran out of time so I failed.

**According to Einstein's Theory of General Relativity...**

Everyone is attracted to you. At least a little bit.

**They say that there is a time and a place for everything**

But relativity says that a place and time are the same thing, at the same time, so it's the same place.

**I cant believe it has been more than a hundred years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.**

It seems like only yesterday.

**Einstein: Dad, my paper on The Theory of Relativity finally got published!**

Einstein’s Dad: Damn son, it’s about time.

**Einstein: Dad, my paper on The Theory of Relativity finally got published!**

Einstein’s Dad: Damn son, it’s about time.

**I finally understood Einstein's theory of relativity.**

It was about time.

**Why did Einstein marry his cousin?**

He wanted to test his theory of RELATIVITY

**Now that I think of it, the theory of relativity wasn't that hard to discover in the first place...**

Einstein is 20/20

**What is a rednecks favorite theory?**

Relativity

**How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?**

Two: one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

**Albert Einstein's theory of relativity is actually two separate theories: his special theory of relativity , postulated in the 1905 paper, The Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies and his theory of general relativity , published as The Foundation of the General Theory of Relativity in 1916...**

According to which you can totally bang your cousin.

**Einstein: Dad, my paper on the Theory of Relativity finally got published!!**

Einstein’s Dad: Damn son, it’s about time!

**Why wasnt Einsteins wave relativity theory awarded?**

‘cause it doesn’t matter.

**How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?**

Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

**The day we reach a breakthrough in theory of relativity...**

Is only a matter of time.

**Two guys are talking about their family histories...**

GUY 1: Hey, I heard you're Einstein's distant cousin.

GUY 2: I'm not sure, really. It's just a theory of relativity.

**As Albert Einstein was working hard to finish his paper on relativity**

[deleted]

**Albert Einstein Begins a Lecture on General Relativity:**

Ok, let's get started, so here is the gravity of the situation...

**"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."**

Pretty Girl: "Did you just call me fat?!"

**Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?**

Two: one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

**So they finally proved the last part of Einstein theory of relativity.**

It's about time.

**Yo mama so fat...**

... slapping her belly causes gravitational waves.

OR

... every step she takes causes a ripple in special relativity.

**Apart from the relativity theories, Albert Einstein also dropped a rap album.**

[deleted]

**I wonder if Einstein thought of his theory of general relativity...**

in New York's Time Squared...

**My SO told me she had never heard of Einstein's Theory of Relativity before today.**

I said, "It's about time!"

**What's the difference between Einstein and Kim Kardashian?**

Einstein is famous for special relativity, Kim is famous for simple reality tv.

**The only way I could solve my problem was using general relativity...**

It was a massive problem.

**Relativity theory**

In classical (Newtonian) physics, we can't solve the three-body problem. In the theory of relativity, we can't solve the two-body problem. In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore.

**NSW Bugs Bunny helps Daffy Duck understand the Theory of Relativity.**

Bugs and Daffy are chilling in their dorm at the Looney Tunes University. Clearly frustrated with his physics homework, Daffy slams his textbook, and tells Bugs "This Theory of Relativity crap is confusing the fuck out of me any chance you can help me understand this shit?"

Bugs calms his friend down, and assures Daffy, that he will help him understand the concept behind sa

**How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?**

He married his cousin.

**Relativity**

A student is taking the train back to MIT, and realizes that Albert Einstein just sat down in the seat next to him! Excitedly, the student asks: "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"

**Lazlo's Chinese relativity axiom **

No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats-approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less,