Reincarnation

Jokes

Last night I spent 2,000 bucks on a reincarnation seminar.

I figured, what the heck. You only live once.

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One of the funniest jokes Ive ever heard

A boy and a man sit on a couch together. The boy says to the man, "Yeah, well, I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either."

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This life is sorta dull...

I think that if reincarnation is true I’m gonna make my next life a full time party, might even arrive naked.

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Did you hear the good news about reincarnation?

It's making a comeback!

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The reasons for reincarnation

A wise man said there are seven reasons for reincarnation. The first is sex. The other six do not matter.

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I'm starting to think that reincarnation is a real thing.

I mean just take a look at the number of reposts on this sub.

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Whats one way to prestige in real life?

Reincarnation

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Reincarnation

Dave, who was completely wasted, returns home late at night and slips into bed next to his wife Susan, who was already tight asleep.
When he woke up, he saw a weird looking man standing next to his bed in a long white dress.

-"Who are you?", asked Dave.

-"I'm Saint Peter!"

-"Does that mean i'm dead??"


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What is reincarnation? A cowboy asks his friend.

It starts, his old pal told him, when your life comes to an end.

They wash your neck and comb your hair and clean your fingernails,

And put you in a padded box away from life's travails.

The box and you goes in a hole that's been dug in the ground.

Reincarnation starts in when you're planted neath that mound.

Them clod


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I was talking to my wife the other day about reincarnation.

She asked "what actually is reincarnation?"

I said to her, "well, its when you die and come back as something completely different."

"So, I could come back as a pig?!" she exclaimed!!

I said, "you"re not listening are you.....?

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So the Tibetan spiritual leader was found to have faked his reincarnation...

I always knew he was the lie Lama.

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I feel like in another life

I believed in reincarnation.

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If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a whale

I figure having a 50 pound tongue and the ability to breath out of the back of my head has to have some advantages!

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Defining reincarnation . . .

A wife was talking to her husband about reincarnation.

“What exactly is reincarnation?” he asked.

“It’s when you die and come back as something completely different,” she explained.

“So,” he suggested “I could come back as a pig?”

She sighed wearily. “You’re not listening, are you?


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Do you know why so many swedes believe in reincarnation?

Because they are going to be Bjorn again.

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I was arrested for not believing in reincarnation.

I got three lifetime sentences.

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I spent over $5,000 on a reincarnation seminar the other day.

I thought why the hell not, you only live once.

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I don't believe in reincarnation

...but I did in my previous life.

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There was once a viking who believed in reincarnation.

He was hoping that after dying he'd be Bjorn again.

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Reincarnation

[deleted]

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A Chinese man dies and goes to hell

He arrives in time for Hell orientation. As he walks into the orientation room, he looks around and finds an empty seat and sits down. The orientation staff woman starts off the meeting with a roll-call:

"Do we have Mr. Johnson present?"

"Here," says a man.

"Mr. Smith?"

"Present," responds another man.


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I didn't believe in reincarnation until I spoke to my karate friend.

[deleted]

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I just forked over $5,000 for a reincarnation seminar

I figured what the hell you only live once.

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The reincarnation of holy Mary

[deleted]

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After my friend passed away I got his sibling a parrot to soften the blow.

I also taught it to say, "Dave, it's your brother. Reincarnation is real!"

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What is the 100 guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

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Reincarnation

I stole this from a comment thread in a local newspaper.
Here we go:

I was talking to my ex wife once about reincarnation.

She asked, "What actually is reincarnation?"

I said to her, "Well, it's when you die and come back as something completely different."

"So, I could come back as a pig?!" she exclaimed


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I'm neither going to heaven or hell.

I'm coming straight back because Hindus believe in reincarnation.

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My grandfather once told me 'When i was your age, I thought I was going to be 10 all my life too.

So I said 'And when I was your age, I didn't believe in reincarnation either'.

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Reincarnation

I told my wife that in the Hindu religion she could come back as something completely different. She said she wanted to come back as a cow.
I told her she wasn't listening.

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I have this Buddhist friend who says YOLO every chance he gets

Which is really ironic because he believes in reincarnation.

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We were learning about reincarnation and how Hindus believe in it.

I called bullshit, and that pissed of the Hindu kid. We got into an argument, and then the teacher says "Guys, if Apu is right, you'll settle this in the next life. If Seth's right, then we can end this now."

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What did the man who believed in reincarnation have engraved on his tombstone?

BRB.

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I was telling my wife about reincarnation...

I explained to her "when you die you come back as a different creature".


She said "I want to come back as a cow".


I replied "...well you obviously weren't listening then".

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