Refrain

Jokes

Why do gay people refrain from coming out of the closet?

Because they're so far in it, that they're having adventures in Narnia! Who'd want to leave that?

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A man is in court, when the judge asks, "On the 3rd of August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?" "Guilty." said the man in the dock.



At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted, "You dirty rat!"

The judge asked the man to sit down and to refrain from making any noise.

The judge continued, "And that also on the 17th of September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty.&


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Safety Sign at the Grand Canyon

Did you hear they are trying out a new safety sign at the Grand Canyon?




It reads: “I know that it is tempting but please refrain from shoving your spouse or significant other over the ledge - we have seen enough of these cases to know those deaths are not always accidental.”

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A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"? "Guilty",


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A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"? "Guilty"


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A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"? "Guilty"


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If Dora the Explorer were pansexual...

Would that make her Pandora?

(It's a kids show... Let refrain from box jokes in the comments.)

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What do you call a crazy song chorus about Chinese food?

An Insane lo main refrain

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I'm writing a book on reverse psychology.

When it becomes available, please refrain from purchasing it.

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Did you hear about the poet who persisted, even though he was terrible?

He just couldn’t refrain.

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Did you head about the poet who persisten even though he was terrible?

He just couldn’t refrain.

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These days I refrain from self-deprecating humor

because I’m too fearful of offending myself

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Sometimes when I'm singing a song a get an urge to skip the chorus...

But I always refrain

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PSA: This year, lets refrain from the 'I haven't taken a shower since last year!' jokes.

Please and thank you.

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Young single attractive mothers to me are like "now and laters."

I refrain from mixing myself with them. Sure they'll start off all sweet and it'll be an experience. But then it's just stale and the same old shit forever. and now you have a kid too.

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A man is in court

A man is in court.

The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock.

At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!"

The Judge asked the man to site down and to refr


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I'll refrain from making any jokes about the Ashley Madison controversy...

They're such an easy target, it might be considered cheating.

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I'll refrain from making any jokes about the Ashley Madison controversy. They're such an easy target, it might be considered cheating.

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In Vermont an old man is sitting in his rocking chair on his porch, quietly smoking a pipe.

A tourist who is staying at a nearby B&B passes by every day for a week, and whenever he passes, the man is just sitting there in his rocking chair quietly smoking his pipe.

One day the tourist cannot refrain from asking the old man: "Say, have you been sitting here all your life, doing nothing but smoking your pipe?"

Says the old man: "Not yet!&qu


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A blond man goes to the doctor

A blond man goes to the doctor and complains that it is very painful wherever he touches. He pushes his thigh with his finger and jumps up in excruciating pain. He proceeds to touch his arm and jumps in pain. Then he touched his chest and he can't handle the pain. The doctor told him "please refrain from using your finger. You finger is broken."


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My doctor told me to refrain from heavy lifting.

So now I can't masturbate.

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Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den.

(This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

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