Reformed

Jokes

I can't believe it!

I just refuse! During my visit to Egypt, they reformed the government and now I'm in the state of The Nile.

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One day I was walking across the bridge when I saw a man about to jump off...

I immediately shouted to him, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why not?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well... are you religious or not?" "I am!" "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me


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Hear the one about the reformed stoner?

There's this group of stoners. They're worried about one of their friends. He doesn't even seem like the same person anymore. They look into it and find out he's now a non-smoker. His response?

"I'm not a non-smoker. I can start whenever I want."

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Ive stopped eating anything that includes reformed pork...

I feel bad eating pigs that have finally got their life back together

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One day I was walking across a bridge when I saw a man about to jump off. I immediately shouted to him, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why not?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are you religious or not?"

"I am!"

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"


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An urban proletariat walks up to an industrial bourgeoisie and says "Good day, comrade"...

The bourgeoisie spits out his champagne and says "I am not your comrade!"

The proletariat raises a red flag, and a group of workers takes the capitalist away to be re-educated.

10 years later, the proletariat finds the former bourgeoisie (now a reformed worker) working and says "Good day, comrade".

Joke over, please upvote.


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Did you hear Buffalo Bill reformed and is now a pick up artist and skin care specialist?

He puts the lotion in the basket and then he gets the hoes again

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A man wants to jump off a bridge...

(This joke is courtesy of Emo Philips)

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are yo


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I used to be addicted to playing with Play-Doh

But now I'm reformed

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A reformed Terminator

[deleted]

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The Heretic

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too!


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I was walking across a bridge...

and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

I said, "Well there's so much to live for."

"Like what?"

"Well, are you religious or atheist?"

"Religious."


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Difference between Orthodox, Conservative, and Reformed Jews

At an orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant.

At a conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant.

At a reformed wedding, the rabbi is pregnant!



People ask me this question I lot; this is usually the answer I give.

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Heresy

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"


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A reformed Mexican gangbanger was trying to change his life...

so he decides to go back to school and one night he was writing a book report, he was sitting at his desk by the window and a gust of wind knocked his papers away and scattered outside...he says "Come back here essay!"

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The heretic

* xpost from /r/ELINT's ["what's your favorite denominational or interfaith joke?"](http://www.reddit.com/r/ELINT/comments/13t7sx/all_whats_your_favorite_denominational_or/)

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I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn�


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So I see this man about to jump of a bridge (from a comment in rxkcd)

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said:

"Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Are you religious?"

He said, "Yes.&qu


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Whats yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

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The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It’s mostly drum and bass.

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I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off...

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious?" "Yes," he said, I said, "me too! Are you Christia


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I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.

I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.

So I ran over and said "stop! don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

He said, "Like what?"

I said, "Well…are you religi


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