Reflect

Jokes

A Software Engineer asks his Boss

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Why are vampires so impulsive?

They never reflect on things.

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Why are all vampires bad people?

They can't really reflect on who they are.

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Every once and a while, we should stop and reflect on what the world is coming to.

Then we should go on PornHub and find out.

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I got locked in a mirror shop last night.

On the plus side, it gave me time to reflect.

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What happens when cats become philosophical?

They like to paws and reflect on life

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Why did vampire done awful things?

Because he couldn’t just sit down and reflect on his behavior.

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Why did vampire done awful things?

Because he couldn’t just sit down and reflect on his behavior.

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Joseph Goebbels once said, False information told once is a lie...

False information told a million times becomes the truth.

That seems to very much reflect the state of the world at the moment.

Or so they keep telling me.

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Imagine a film entirely made of things youve done in a mirror.

It would really make you reflect on your life.

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Science and Politics truly reflect each other

One discusses states of Matter and the other, matter of States.

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Why did the mirror's parents dislike it misbehaving?

They were concerned about how it would reflect on them.

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The NRA just revealed that they accept foreign funds, so they're changing their name to reflect their International status

The Irish Republican Army is reportedly pissed for no longer being the worst IRA.

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Why are vampires such terrible people?

They can't reflect on their choices.

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A conversation between a dumb horse and a depressed mirror

The mirror said "I find it difficult to reflect on the choices I've made in life."

The horse responded by saying "HOLY SHIT IT'S A TALKING HORSE!"

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Goth people wear black to reflect the color of their souls...

Except ginger goths. They go naked.

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Robert Ebert was asked to reflect upon his career as a movie critic...

[deleted]

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It's fun being a philosophy major

I get to reflect on why I can't pay for food

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What color are mirrors?

I don't know, let's reflect on this.

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There's an email going around

offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it.

It's spam.



Crap looks like /r/jokes is going to delete my joke

"These are jokes. Some of them are old, and as such reflect the tone of the times. Some of them are new, and just as offensive. Unless it's spam, it stays."


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What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect!

I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

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Why is it difficult to punish vampires?

They can't reflect on what they've done.

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Sometimes I like to stand in front of a mirror and reflect.

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My shiny watch has had a peaceful life...

...it's always had the time to reflect upon itself.

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Whenever I'm feeling stressed I go to the house of mirrors...

I find it's a really great place to reflect.

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I'm unsure how I feel about my new mirror...

...I just haven't had time to reflect yet.

www.ChippedBeefOnToast.com

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There are 2 cows, cow 1 and cow 2, and cow 1 isn't feeling well.....

So the cows travel together to the cow doctor. After cow 2 has waited in the waiting room for many cow hours, the cow doctor and cow 1 come out, and the cow doctor explains that cow 1 only has 1 cow week to live.

Cow 1 is crying, and begins to reflect on how he has not been the best cow he could have been. He continues to reflect on how poorly he has treated all of his cow peers and


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It's that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions.

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It's that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions.

Kids... I meant my kids.

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Robert Ebert was asked to reflect upon his career as a movie critic...

He described it as a jaw-dropping experience...

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Karma points do not reflect your self worth

Now gimme my karma points!

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Saw a beautiful lady out the other night...

...so I went up to her I asked what her name was and she said "Carmen Gold."
I said, "What a beautiful name! What nationality is the last name 'Gold?'"
"Oh no, I changed my name to reflect what I really love. I love cars, men, and gold jewelry. So what's your name again?"
"My name's BJ TitsnBeer."


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META - We all believe in free speech, but anyone else think this sub's sidebar is completely unprofessional?

First: I agree that /r/Jokes should not be censored. However, the presentation of this important idea in the sidebar here is groan-worthy. It sounds like it was written by a rebellious 13-year-old rather than a professional moderator who believes in the principle of free speech.

Some quick highlighting:

"Note: If you are offended by a joke, you have two options:


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What is the worst part of being both black and jewish?

Having to sit in the back of the oven.

(these do not reflect my personal views)

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OK It's that time again: Horribly offensive jokes.Post them here. I'll start. DISCLAIMER: Don't read this thread if you're easily offended. (the opinions of the posters may not reflect the opinion of the submitter)

TLC is going to premiere a new reality show to air after Kate Plus 8.

Its called Casey Minus One.

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