Recruitment

Jokes

Two men go to a job fair seeking employment (long)

They scan the room and approach the table of an available recruitment officer.
"Hello gentlemen, please have a seat and we can begin."
The two men sit in the chairs and pull up to the table.
"Now," says the recruitment officer, "hopefully we can find employment for both of you based on your prior work experience. We have a wide variety of jobs availabl


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Man comes for a lumberjack's recruitment interview

Recruiter: Do you have any experience as a lumberjack sir?

Man: Yes, I used to work in the desert.

Recruiter: But there are no trees in the desert!

Man: There are no trees... anymore, sir.

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A guy is ranting about there are no jobs today, but someone says you have job though don't you?

The guy says, yes, the only job going, recruitment.

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Received a call from a female recruitment consultant.

She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!

I replied : Yes. I know 😊

There was a long silence and then she said:- asshole

I replied:- I prefer the other one...

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FBI recruitment is taking place

Alot of people try and in the end 3 men qualify for the final challenge,
They call the first guy in and tell him,"your wife is sitting in there,kill her so we know that you will follow our every order"
He is shocked, he goes in, picks up the gun and tries to do it but he gives up.
They call the second guy in and tell him the same thing, he also tries to do it but fails.


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Delhi Police Recruitment 2019 Upcoming Vacancies in Delhi Police

Check all details on[Delhi Police recruitment and upcoming vacancies on Delhi Police](https://onlineinfodesk.com/delhi-police-recruitment-last-date-eligibility-criteria/)

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I had a meeting with my boss today. He said "are we going to discuss sales figures followed by recruitment?"

Did he just assume my agenda?

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I got a call from a recruitment officer.

She said: Sir, I have two openings for you.

Me: Yes, I know.

Her: (after long pause) Asshole!

Me: I prefer the other one!

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Received a call from a recruitment consultant.

She said to me : " Sir I have two openings for you....!

I replied: Yes . I know 😁

There was a long silence and then she said :- Asshole

I replied : I prefer the other oneπŸ˜‚

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How did the recruitment consultant get fired?

He just applied himself

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I have two openings

Sorry for this but couldn't stop laughing....... Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!

I replied: Yes I Know

There was a long silence and then she said: Asshole

I replied: I prefer the other one.

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This recruitment company asked me what I thought about voluntary work

I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me"

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Fortune Teller recruitment

Come if you are accepted for the job

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A prospective army man walks into a recruitment office without pants.

"Is there a draft in here?"

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Recruiting

Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!

I replied : Yes. I know

There was a long silence and then she said:- asshole

I replied:- I prefer the other one

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How to be a great Recruitment Consultant

1) Firstly you must ring up your potential customers and lead them on and be really positive about the job and pretend that the customer will get the job.

2) Then you must waste ones time by pressuring them to come down to "register" making sure the person wastes car parking money.

3) After inviting them down to your office you happily waste the persons time by


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Received a call from a recruitment consultancy.

She said to me: “Sir I have two openings for you…!”

I replied : Yes. I know.

There was a long silence and then she said… Asshole!

Then I said, I prefer the other one.

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A girl from the recruitment agency called.

She said, "Sir, I have three openings for you."

I said, "I know."

She hung up.

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Asshole

Received a call from a recruitment consultancy. She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!"

I replied : Yes. I know.

There was a long silence and then she said.....

Asshole!

Then I said, I prefer the other one πŸ˜…

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Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!"

I replied : Yes. I know 😊

There was a long silence and then she said.....

bastard

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ISIS new way of recruitment

ISIS leader posted a job offer for new workers : " Need somebody with a head on his shoulders "

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UT Administration Recruitment 2013 of Daman amp Diu 159 Posts Vacancies

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A Japanese man wished to join the knights of England.

The recruitment official turned him away, however, stating that there can not be any chinks in their knights' armor.

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At a recruitment interview

“Can you work overtime for this company without overtime claim?”

“I can work for this company without any pay”

“Ha ha you must be joking.”

“Well you started first.”

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