Reception

Jokes

Why can't you get cell reception in space?

Because it's 0 G

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Bitch floor!

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Batman stops by the reception desk.

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No service at hotel room

I called into the hotel reception for room service. After my 5th call went unanswered, I walked up to the hotel reception angrily asking why they weren't answering.

Reception : "Extremely sorry sir. What's your room number?"
Me : "Room number 503"
Reception : "Something went wrong. 503 service unavailable"


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I couldn't find my hotel room

I recently went to Wisconsinand checked into a hotel. I took the key at the reception and got onto the elevator to the 4th floor. Walked up and down the corridor but my room was nowhere to be found.
Then giving up all hope, I called the reception from corridor and told them the situation.

Reception: "Sir what's the room number?"
Me (angry):"404!"


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Just got married for the 9th time.

Had a wonderful reception. Which, if I'm honest, is everything I could have hoped for from wife (i).

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I attended many weddings in the past within my extended family.

At the reception, the old folks always came to me telling: "You're next! You're next!"

This suddenly stopped after I started doing the same at funeral services.

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I watched two satellite dishes get married last week.

The dinner was underwhelming but the reception was amazing.

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A family is checking in at reception.

A family on the check-in at an hotel.
„Family Smith, your room will be number 242“
The dad is asking: „Is the porn disabled“
While the guy behind the reception is replying:
„No it‘s just regular porn you sick fuck“

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A nurse goes into the doctors office and says, Doc, Ive got a patient whos waiting in reception. He says hes starting to turn invisible. What do you want me to tell him?

Doc: ‘Tell him I can’t see him right now.’

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Two satellite dishes had a wedding,

The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was INCREDIBLE.

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Two satellites decide to get married

The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was INCREDIBLE!

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DampD Coworker asked why all of our security monitors were watching the front desk

I don't know, make a reception check.

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Ever since I dropped my phone in the toilet,

My cell reception has been kind of shitty.

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One elderly guy checked into a nudist health resort.

He did all stuff on reception, left there his luggage, documents and all the clothes.

Got keys and headed to his suite. On his way he met stunning gorgeouse hot chick all naked of course

and suddenly got bonner. Girl noticed bonner, approached old man and said "Hi, you know we got unspoken rule in here

when guy likes girl and got bonner well it kinda mea


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Two antennas got married...

The ceremony was ok but the reception was excellent

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Did you hear about the satellites that got married?

The reception was amazing.

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Two antennas met at the roof.

They fall in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't that much, But the reception was excellent....

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Two antennas meets at the roof.

They fall in-love and got married. The ceremony wasn't that much, But the reception was excellent.

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Two satellites decided to get married

The wedding wasnt much, but the reception was incredible

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A Middle eastern couple were in a restaurant and saw a mouse in their room

The man couldn't say mouse so when he went to the reception he said "do you know tomorrow and jerry?" To which the receptionist says yes the man continues "Wallahi (I swear to god) habibi jerry is here"

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I've just asked my crush out. Hope it goes well

she said no, she's probably just trying hard to get.

things happened, and she's in my basement tied up, she's still rejecting me. She's Still playing hard to get

I smuggled her to Mexico, we're gonna get married here.

she said no at the reception. Why won't she stop playing hard to get?


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Anyone hear about the guy who married a TV antenna?

The wedding was boring, but the reception was great

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Dave, a man who's a complete failure in life is walking along a street...

When he sees a sign that says, "One step further to success", with an arrow pointing to the entrance of a tall, desolate building. Thinking he has nothing more to lose he enters the building.

He gets the first floor where there is a sign asking him to go to the topmost level. He tries to call the lift but the it is broken. He's disappointed even more at his bad luck but


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A guy goes to visit his friend who lives on the 100th floor

At the reception, the friend welcomes him with a grim news "The elevator is not working so we have to take the stairs."

The guy afraid says "But that's a long climb.."

"Don't worry" His friend replies "We can tell each other horror stories while we climb up. That way we can be entertained and not feel the exhaustion of the clim


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A man walks into the Museum of Natural History.

He strides up to the reception, and pulls out a used tampon and asks: *What period is this from then?*

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Did you hear about the antenna that got married?

The ceremony wasnt much but the reception was amazing!

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My only joke

A guy is the best man at his friends wedding. Now, after the ceremony were over and done with, the groom, bride, the bridesmaid, and best man all decide to play a game of sackrace. The winner would get a free jug of cider, which may seem underwhelming but out guy was fairly thirsty. Everyone lines up to start the race, and once the whistle blows it is on. Our guy ends up being 2nd, losing to the b


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The funeral for the man who died fixing an aerial on the roof of a building was held today

The reception was fantastic

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I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.

I really hated that reception.

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Two antennas met on a roof and fell in love...

The wedding wasn’t much but the reception was excellent.

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I was staying in a hotel last night. I phoned down to reception. Hi, this is room 26 Can I have a wake up call , please?

She said “Yes, You’re in your mid 30s, single , live with your mother and have achieved nothing in life !"

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I saw that joke about a radio on this subreddit a few days ago, and decided to use it on some of my colleagues

It got good reception every time.

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I used to tell a joke about radios

But it’s reception was always bad

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To bring some cheer to an otherwise dull day, I tried befriending a snowman

But all I got was a frosty reception.

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A reporter was interviewing members of the Army, Navy and Air Force in Afghanistan...

He asked them what they would do if they woke up and found a camel spider in their tent.

The soldier said "I would leap on it and kill it with my bayonet."

The sailor said "I would crush it to death with one of my sea-boots."

The pilot said "I would call reception and ask them why there was a tent in my room."


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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married.

The wedding ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

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Two antennas met on a roof.....

They fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

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Two antennae were on a roof.

They fell in love and got married. The service wasn't great, but the reception was excellent.

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A satellite dish got married to a TV ariel.

Shit wedding but great reception

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My librarian keeps a gerbil in a cage at the reception desk. I asked her, "Why did you name the gerbil Edgar Rice?" "Because," she responded,

"Edgar Rice burrows."

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Old jobless hooker is trying to find something to eat...

She hears that nearby medical institution is giving out meals to blood donors. Having no other choice she goes there and after giving the blood goes to the reception to pick up her meal and while waiting in line she notices that the guy in front was given cash instead. Enraged she asked the worker:
\- "Why am I given a meal and that guy got a nice sum of cash?"
\-"We


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A man walks into a hospital to see his friend.

After, asking for the room number at the reception and meeting the doctor, he goes to see his friend.

Seeing the horrible state his friend is in, he says,"Now, that's a loss of damage."

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A man walks into a hospital to se his friend.

After, asking for the room number at the reception and meeting the doctor, he goes to see his friend.

Seeing the horrible state his friend is in, he says,"Now, that's a loss of damage."

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Two satellites get married

The wedding was alright, but the reception was amazing!

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Two antennas

Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married?


The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!

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A guy walks into a wedding reception and goes over to the bar and asks

Is this the punch line?

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Two antennas met on a roof.

They fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

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A man survives Hiroshima and wakes up in the hospital

Man: What happened and why am I here?

Nurse: Hiroshima was hit by a bomb and despite all odds you survived. Right now you are at the hospital getting treated but you have no risk of dying so no worries.

Man: Thank god. But how about my family? Are they ok also?

Nurse: Don’t worry, they all evacuated safely and are waiting at the reception room


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Man calls up, "Is this reception?" but the line goes dead.

For a brief moment, yes, it was reception.

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