React

Jokes

Argon walks into a bar

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Argon doesn't react.

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How does a pyromaniac react when they get flammable Coco cola for Christmas?

He's soda lighted!

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Helium walks into a bar, the bartender says: We dont serve noble gases here

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A friend of mine asked me how he should react if his girlfriend tells him that she's HIV positive

I said, "The trick is to always act surprised."

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Ladies, you can tell a lot about a man

by how dogs react to him. For example, if the K9 police dog is biting him, he may not be ideal.

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How did Aunt Marge react to Harry Potter being a wizard?

She was blown away.

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Me: petting a dog Aww! He probably smells my dog!

Police: He's been trained to only react to the smell of drugs.

Me: *sigh* Yeah... my dog has a real problem.

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Today my crush gave a love react to my post ......

in Instagram

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My dad didn't react to my dad joke at all.

Turns out he's been dead all along!

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Why do they call teenage girls "basic"?

Because when you pour acid on them, they react.

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Argon walked into a bar, the barman says we dont serve noble gases here

Argon doesn’t react.

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Oxygen walls into a bar

The bartender and atoms from all the other groups insult him wildly for hours on end!
......he doesn’t react.

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How to react to getting The Big Gay?

Well, if you can't beat em...beat em ;)

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Helium walks into a bar. The bartender asks helium what he'll have...

Helium doesn't react

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After successfully ruining San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York City, liberals decided where to move next, shouting Texas we are coming!

Texans react: Bitch, I hope the fuck you do *guns reloading*

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How did people react to the latest happenings in france internationally?

"Notre Damn"

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How did Mount Doom react when Frodo came to drop off the precious ring of Sauron?

It blushed a fire and sheepishly said, "Oh, you shouldn't have!"

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Ladies, you can tell a lot about a man by how dogs react to him.

For example, if a police K9 is bitting him, he may not be ideal.

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Why don't people react to the Queen's farts?

Because they're noble gases.

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How did the Pepsi CEO react when he was fired?

He got soda pressed that he developed a Coke habit.

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How does rjokes react to dead baby jokes?

Because i just heard one and it’s killin me

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Argon walks into a bar and the bartender says Sorry but we dont serve noble gases in here.

Argon doesn’t react.

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Helium walks into a bar

The bartender says: “I’m sorry we don’t serve noble gasses here”.

Helium doesn't react!

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The first person to react is gey

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A helium atom walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases in here."
The helium doesn't react.

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At the age of 5 Skaga decided there was no god.

Most people react one of two ways, with relief or dispar; only Skaga responded by thinking,
'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant'.

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How do french people react after hearing a humourous joke?

Le Mao

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Why does no one react when Queen Elizabeth farts?

Because noble gases got no reactions.

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Why does no one react when Queen Elizabeth farts?

Because noble gases got no reactions.

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Why am i so unfunny and bad at roasting

It seems every time i start being sarcastic with someone i get made fun of and become the joke of the circle and if i try making fun of someone no one laughs but when i say something everyone attacks me at once and starts bringing up personal matters into the jokes an start exposing me in front of everyone. I have a temper problem an people love seeing me mad but even when i dont react people go &


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(True story) My roomie just caught me masturbating...

... they react differently in porn

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How do Mexicans react when they see snow?

Snow way Jose!

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A janitor is cleaning in the choir loft of an empty Catholic Church in the afternoon...

He hears the door to the sanctuary open, and looks down to see an old woman approach the alter, kneel, and begin praying. Deciding to have some fun with her, he softly calls out:

“This is Jesus...”.

The old woman doesn’t flinch from her prayers, so he tried again, a little louder:

“This Is Jesus!”

Again, the woman


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How do you react when an anti vaxxer wants to speak to you?



You give them a shot.

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Hey girl are you vinegar?

Because you always react whenever I get baked or drink soda

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A dude and his two girlfriends live in a studio apartment

One day, one of his mates asked if he could stay the night as he didn't have a place. The dude reluctantly let him sleepover on the couch while the dude and his girlfriends slept on the bed.

In the middle of the night, one of the girls said she was really horny and wanted to have sex. The dude declined and said he can't since his mate is sleeping on the couch close to them.


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Your mom is like potassium

She would literally react to any man she is given to

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Children find out their father won the lottery but he doesn't know

They want to tell their Father but knowing that their Father has a history of heart problems, they seek help from his Doctor. The Doctor agrees to break the news to the Father.

The next day the Doctor calls in the Father to his office.

Doctor: " So how is everything? Any health issues?"
Father: "Everything is well"
Doctor: "


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I was just told I've been diagnosed with autism

I'm not sure how to react to that

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How did the woman react when the doctor suggest she have a brain biopsy?

She gave him a piece of her mind.

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How did the prison guard react when the inmate arrived on the elevator?

Very condescending.

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Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer,...

...the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.

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Helium walks into a bar..

..the bartender says "we don't serve nobel gases"
Helium didn't react.

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A salesman walks into our engineering firm 2 hours ago...

Claims to have a new device that works better then our current small hydraulic cylinders. Head engineer invited him to the conference room and asks, “Do you have any air powered cylinders”? The salesman gleaming from ear to ear whips out his catalog and goes on chatting how great this product is. It’s top of the line! Everyone is buying them because they react quickly! We are all


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How would rocket raccoon react if groot joined forces with Thanos in Infinity War?

"et tu Groot?"

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What's the worst way to react to a racist joke?

[deleted]

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Silver walked up to elements in a bar that was on fire. Silver said "Get out!"

Gold said "Aukay"

Potassium said "K"

Sodium said "Na"

Argon didn't react.

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Why didn't the man react to the beautiful and heartfelt message written on his cake?

He glazed over it.

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When youre friends with a douche

A woman is sitting with 3 male friends in a bar. One of her girlfriends comes to meet her, a stranger to the 3 men. The first woman begins to introduce each man to her friend.

She says of the first man, “This is Manny, he is a great swimmer, holding 3 Olympic pool records!”

She says of the second man, “This is Charles, he has one of the deepest and most


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Why are noble gases the worst audience members for a comedic performance?

They don't react.

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